Need someone to talk to.....

Hi Girls

I dont know where to start, im hoping i will feel better after writting this. Im 20 and am in uni doin my degree, some of u may know Isabella is 5 and a half weeks old. Basically, i stopped going to uni at 38 weeks pregnant as i was too far gone to travel etc, and when Isabella was 4 weeks old i received an email from my tutor saying i needed to come back as they only allow 4 weeks off. Firstly I was angry and upset because i really didnt want to leave Isabella, and i was still bonding with her and secondly they wanted me to catch up on 4 weeks of work in 2 weeks. I went back last monday, and tried to get on with it but yesterday i was supposed to hand work in for a deadline but i had no one to have Isabella as my mum was called into work so i told them i would be in on tuesday (today). This morning i went into uni and handed my work in, and aplogised for not being able to go in yesterday to which my tutor replied 'I need to have a chat with u tomoro about meeting your deadlines its not on that u missed it by a day.' I just feel like they dont care that i have a small baby at home and i am trying my best to keep up but they dont want to try to compromise with my situation? to make matters worse I am living at home with my parents and boyfriend until after christmas when we will start looking for our own place, but I am not getting along with my dad lately, he has a go at me for every little thing. I smashed a glass in the kitchen before and he flipped out over it! My mum has Isabella while im at uni, and she took her out shopping today in her pram, the pram was left up in the other room and my dads 'comment' on it was 'if you want people to take YOUR baby out, then sort that pram out' Ive had ebough i feel so small when he does this, infront of my child. I have sat here crying i just feel like i have nobody. My mum is brilliant for help but sometimes she thinks she knows whats best for Isabella, and 'teels me off' when she thinks im doing things wrong i just want to get on with being a loving parent to my gorgeous little girl but every1 seems to be getting in the way...Sorry girls just needed to get it off my chest!!



  • Oh hun im sorry things arnt great for you at the moment, if you need to talk feel free to email.
  • Hi
    That's so crap some people are spoiling what should be a really happy time for you! Poor you image
    Could your mum have a word with your dad? Sounds like he's just not got an understanding of what you're going through?
    As for Uni, I find it crazy your lecturer is so insensitive! I'm doing a course part-time and my tutor arranged an extension on my coursework at end of last semester as I was getting married and was really sick- I didn't even ask him, he approached me and said it was possible and did I want to to sort it for me which was really nice- so it can be done. You tutor is being a prat!
    Don't apologise for posting a rant- always helps to get things of your chest image

    Hope you get something sorted soon and you can enjoy your first christmas with your gorgeous daughter.

  • yout tutor is able to put extensions on your work. is there someone higher in uni who you can talk to about your work, im sure there is some kind of rights that you have surely. and your dad, well. were you both close before the baby came along? if so maybe hes jealous, plus your mums helping you out alot and maybe he is jealous. i think at the moment sounds like your dad is making a fuss out of everything he can. maybe talk to your mum.
    hope all works out for you.
  • Oh babe that's bloody awful.
    Uni are unbelievable and I'm sure there will be someone else you can talk to other than the stupid tutor-is there another tutor you like or is a bit more approachable? Book an appointment and I always write a list of what I need to say so I don't forget-have a brain like a sieve at the mo! Make them realise what life is like and what you need them to do to make sure you can be a parent who is doing a dgree not a student with a child.
    Also, maybe a quiet word with your Mum (I don't have one so maybe not the best person to help!) about stuff-get it off your chest maybe when your Dad's out.
    Just think your lo's Christmas is a few weeks away then the New Year will bring a new palce and a fresh start-keep that in mind. I do that when stuff's a bit crappy have one thing to look forward to or hang on to.
    Hope writting it all down has helped and you know everyone on here is always about to help so get on here when you can to off load-that's what I do!!
    You take care and let us know how you get on x
  • hi, i was at uni studying business and i got extensions and handed in my work with a pec form personal circumstances something like that, i handed in one by 4 weeks late i was 5 months gone and they were great speak to someone higher i spoke to business studies leader he was great they even take in to consideration the assignment ie spelling etc and some things can slide when marking. I was at northumbria uni at the time, go on the website and look at your student handbook it sould say their guidelines and exceptions for late assignments xx hope that help s xx well done you hun, its hard to study being pregnant and then after having a baby good on you xx Tracey
  • thanks girls, lovely 2 know i can talk to u all on here, be lost otherwise! xxx
  • Hey,
    I think you should speak to someone other than your tutor i.e student welfare officer or principal?
    It's not accceptable the way your tutor is speaking to you & being so uncompromising. It is discrimination in my opinion.

    Have you thought about deferring until next september? The work you've done won't go to waste just on hold & it means you will get to spend the precious early months with Isabella instead of worrying about petty people.
    Really hope you get something sorted xxx
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