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Not breasting feeding! do you judge?

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  • i just wanted to add

    All these facts about BF being so good beacuse of x,y and z (which i do not disagree with by the way hence trying to BF) are they more important than the mothers mental health? weather it be a woman who doesnt feel comfortable or has 'failed' to BF,

    is a depressed BF mum better than a happy formula feeding mummy?


  • is a depressed BF mum better than a happy formula feeding mummy?



    It depends on the mothers desire to continue bf or not... if you mean depression as in post natal depression, mothers who want to continue bf can take anti depressants whilst bf... if the mother is at the point where the situations/problems with bf are the points for depression then they would possibly be better off stopping - however, I have been told that sudden withdrawal from bf can *sometimes* itself cause depression because of the rage of hormones going around because of the supply/demand/stimulation process the body goes through to produce milk and also the guilt the mums feels for giving forumla..

    Sorry, that's not worded very well but I am unable to find better words to describe it yet... and I also didn't answer the question did I - I don't think a depressed bf mum is better than a happy ff mum...but i also don't think its worse, again depending on the reason/strength of the depression...

    I suffered from depression after both my children (and am still on anti depression tablets 15 months after MJ was born), it was pretty darn bad after Ollie was born, not as bad after MJ but a more prolonged term this time around, and i bf - but my sheer deterimation and refusal to do anything else (some would say complete stubbornness) meant i persevered, maybe it didnt help the depression, maybe it had no effect on the depression- I'll never know.

    at the end of the day a happy mummy = a happy baby is a very common phrase, and is usually true.

    along the same lines...
    is a depressed bf mummy better/worse than a depressed ff mummy?
    All the mums on here who have tried and not succeeding in bf have felt guilty and (maybe?) depressed about using ff at some point...
    Is there a way to stop mums who have had to stop bf from feeling guilty and depressed? Who's to tell if a mum already suffering from post natal depression gets worse or better if they stop bf?

    Sorry, as I've said I'm not very good with words (without tone) and I have probably upset people with this post.

    xx
  • I wouldn't judge any one at all its non of my business so why would I concern myself with some one elses child, so what if they decided to ff its hardly poison lol

    my first ds was only bf for 2 weeks due to my severe aneamia (was at 6) which equals poor milk production, I had to stay in the hos for a week and he only started putting on weight when he was topped up with formula, I tried for another week and eventually the mw told me i was weak enough and that ff would not kill him, to say I was gutted is an understatement, I felt like such a failure I cried all the time and couldn't even talk about it without feeling so upset.

    with ds2 I was determined to bf which I have (currently 17 weeks) however I ended up with the other extreme, he wont take a bottle at all until last week he fed around 8-10 times a day and 6 at night, to say I wa shattered was an understatement, my hv was actually concerned that it was bringing the onset of pnd as she said that sleep deprevation can cause this, I was snapping at my oh and my ds1 which isn' fair either, in the end i was advised to introduce some rice which I would have preferred not to as I know if hed have taken a bottle it would have helped. I agree with Calliegh too my ds1 was a far easier baby being ff, bottles etc were a piece of p**s compared to bfing, I really love doing it and my ds2 eczema is nothing compared to ds1 which is a big reason for me wanting to do it so much but at times I hate it too as I feel so trapped, for the week previous to introducing rice I sat on teh sofa and cried nearly every day with sheer frustration and exhaustion, so each choice has advantages and disadvantages. For number 3 I would deffo breastfeed again but I would introduce formula earlier (may be a bottle a day) so that I am not left the way I have been with ds 2
  • for those who think 'milk supply loss is an excuse' look up severe anaemia its actually quoted as illness that prevents bfing
  • moonbeam I find that very interesting image

    as a bf peer supporter we have not been told that that is an issue for milk supply.. it was never even mentioned image

    my levels were at 7, 4 days after birth (long story) and they wanted me to have a transfusion, but not once did they say that could be part of the reason bf wasnt going too well in the first week and the reason why i didn't feel like my milk came in...
    me and MJ had a really bad first week, maybe if they had said to me that my low levels were part of the reason things could have been different... (although maybe levels of 7 aren't classed as severe, even though they wanted me to have a transfusion..?)

    xx
  • moonbeam - I didn't know that about anaemia either. I have suffered with anaemia ever since I had Toby. Currently going through another really bad time with it (Dr calling it "unexplained" as she's no idea why I'm so bad!!!) and he's a year old! My levels were 4 I think, after giving birth. I lost a lot of blood when Toby was born (no need for a transfusion though).

    Also I wanted to add another reason behind my decision to "fail" at BF :roll: ... Toby lost 13% of his bodyweight which is far more than expected (so I was told). Then 2-weeks after he was born, he lost another chunk of weight (can't remember how much) and the HV advised a formula supplement.

    Julie xxx
  • yeah (7 is severe too) but 4 omg how are you here today that is awful, icecreamlover I was offered a blood transfusion too but declined, it wasn't the mws in the hospital told me about the milk supply it was the one who came out to the house. In the book what to expect when you are expecting if you look at the breastfeeding section it lists severe anaemia as a reason that women cant breastfeed, which as daft as it sounds made me really happy to read as I had it there in black and white that it wasn't my fault with ds1 lol

    think about it too when your iron is that low you are so weak and bfing takes it out of you my iron was 13.5 this time which was good!!!
  • thats interesting mine was 8.4 post birth
  • I bottle fed Jack from day one and that was always my intention. I don't feel guilty because he's getting formula and don't see why anyone should be judged on how they feed their own child. It's nothing to do with anyone else.

    For those that breast feed, that's totally up to them and they shouldn't be judged either.

    I don't see why other mothers feel the need to judge another mum on whether she bf or ff her baby.

    xx
  • thats really interesting about the iron levels, mine were 7 and i needed two blood transfusions after birth. I must have been very lucky as i was able to bf successfully with no issues with supply. I never realised how lucky i was! Thanks for posting that moonbean! image x
  • hmmmm maybe mine weren't 4 then - if those of you who had levels of 7 needed blood tranfusions! LOL

    It must have been something .4 - but Dr's were very concerned and were very reluctant to discharge me. Hubby was glad tho - didn't want to pay anymore for the private room I had booked myself!!!!!!!!!!!

    My levels at the moment are (well were as hopefully the tablets have helped) lower than after having Tobes - hence the Dr being baffled at whats causing it.

    xxx
  • That's interesting about the iron, my levels were very low during the last few months of my pregnancy so I was taking iron supplements before the birth and carried on after for a while. I'm quite glad I did hearing that as I went on to be ok with milk supply.
  • sarah jb thats what i did this time round as i was talking iron in last part of pregnancy and after birth my milk came in fine

    I do agree though that no one should have to explain anything as if you try it or not and decide to ff so what its not like your choosing to take up smoking with baby in the room!! lol lol x
  • That's interesting about the iron, my levels were very low during the last few months of my pregnancy so I was taking iron supplements before the birth and carried on after for a while. I'm quite glad I did hearing that as I went on to be ok with milk supply.

    I'd been on iron precautionarily (is that even a word?) for 3 months before the birth. I lost almost a litre of blood while they had me open though, cant imagine it would have been much different to 7 straight after the birth than it was 4 days later as I didn't get given any iron whilst in the mat ward.
    MJ slept for almost the whole of the first 24 hours post birth, and we though she was struggling to feed because she had a huge bruise on one side of her face from the forceps. If I had known that low iron levels were that problematic I'd possibly have rethought about refusing the transfusion...
    as it was I ended up on liquid iron due to the high dosage and the tablets making me ill, and I had to take it for about 7-8 months post birth before my levels were acceptable for the gp and HV.

    Its interesting that things could have been different, maybe...

    xx
  • I didn't know that about the iron either. Mine were 5, and whilst I was offered a transfusion, I declined as I thought there were people who needed it more than me. Knowing this now, I wonder if that was what gave me problems. I probably would have had the transfusion if it meant I could bf Hannah image
    Definitely something for me to research for next time!
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