Unsure when to have 2nd baby...

Hi all

Hubby and I are both very broody at the moment! Some good friends have a 4-week old and hubby's brothers wife is due at the end of the month! But we can't afford 2 yet so want to wait for a while yet! Ideally, we'd love to have a maximum of a 3yr age gap. Toby is 10-months.

Hubby wants to start trying in Jan 2011... but if we are lucky enough to fall straight away, it would mean forfeiting our family trip to Florida in Summer 2011 for my Mummy's 60th birthday. I actually REALLY don't want to be pregnant on holiday even if we tried a few months into 2011 (if we tried in Jan and fell preg straight away - I wouldn't actually be able to go to Florida at all but we could wait and start trying after the point where I would actually be able to fly etc...). I went in Nov '08 when I was 17 weeks pregnant and found it soooo tiring (but it was fantastic!). And that was a relaxing holiday with my lazy Mummy! This would be a full on holiday - with a 2yr old too!!!!!!!!

Am I out of order telling hubby I want to wait until after the holiday to start trying? If we fell preg straight away (in Aug 2011), there would be a 3yr age gap which is perfect... but if I didn't fall straight away (it took 7 months including a miscarriage to get preg with Tobes) then the age gap would get bigger and bigger...

I'll also be honest and say I don't want to miss out on going on the thrill rides in Florida - I love 'em!

What would you do?

I am also aware that I should be grateful (and I really very am) I have my one baby and that a 2nd baby at anytime would be a blessing - please don't think I haven't thought about that part.



  • Personally I'd wait til after the holiday, it's only a few extra months in the greater scheme of things. Your hubby might be a bit disappointed but you'd enjoy the trip so much more if you weren't pregnant wouldn't you - like you say, it'd be exhausting and you wouldn't be able to make the most of it. There are no guarantees, you could start trying next Jan and not fall til the September, or you could wait til September and fall straight away - plus if you found out you were pregnant the day you go, for example, would you want to tell family straight away, or how would you feel about making excuses for not going on rides, feeling sick etc? I don't think you're out of order, it's definitely something worth discussing.

    On the other hand, if you want a maximum three year gap you could always start trying now and take both babies with you lol!
  • I was going to suggest start now and if you're lucky to catch quickly take both babies with you image image image and if you dont catch quickly (it took us 11 months and a mc to get MJ) then you can have a break from TTC and enjoy the holiday that way (and start ttc again on holiday?)

    Having said that, in the grand scheme of things 6 months isnt that much difference. What I think you have to look at though, is if you left it til after the hol to start ttc and it took a while would a 4 year gap be too much for you?

    only really you can decide this hon! I know I personally would also want to really enjoy the holiday and be able to go on the rides image

  • You never know when you will fall pregnant, so saying when to have another baby is basicly impossible to say. We wanted two babies close together and started trying when lo was only 3 months. I fell quite quickly pregnant. (with both pregnancy's first month trying) Unfortunately we are now 7 months further and mmc and mc down the line. I wanted a gap of around 18 months, but am happy either way.

    When you say you want to enjoy the rides, you might not. You got T with you right and he will be about 2? When we went to legoland my friends lo did let her go on any rides whatsoever. She went and lo stayed behind with her father, but she screamed the place down till my friend came out of the que. Only the rides her lo was allowed in she could go in.

    Don't want to put a downer on things, but not everything goes according to plan. I now don't put my dreams on hold for a baby, but also don't put a baby on hold for my dreams. image you might want to try earlier, but keep the last 3 months before holiday trying free so you know you are either safely pregnant when on holiday or not pregnant at all. Or you wait till after, but when you are unlucky and don't fall pregnant straight away you will have an age gap of more than 3 years. (which has it positives as well)
  • I love Florida as well so can totally understand your dilemma, we got married there and are returning nect year for our 30th birthdays. Anyway I would wait for a few months its not that long and maybe you could start trying while you are out there, my sil did this for our wedding and the baby was conceived over there.
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