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Mix Feeding...positive stories?? - Bit long! UPDATED

The boys are now 5+5 and are doing really well. They are piling on the weight and are generally becoming more alert and awake. They are quite grizzly babies but I dont think that it necessarily linked to food intake. Anyway, I have exclusively breastfed since they were born (they have had 3 bottles in the nearly 6 weeks) and havent had too much of a problem. However, they are getting hungrier and last night I got a grand total of 90mins sleep!! Im exhausted but im reluctant to give them formula. I find it very difficult to express as I feed every 3 hours from both breasts (1 for each baby obviously) and 3 hours is the longest they go.

Everyone I speak to is amazed im still feeding (which annoys me sometimes but I know they mean well) and I love feeding them but I cant cope on no sleep and, days like today when they are feeding every 45 mins, I am struggling to find time to eat! This then affects my supply and we end up in a viscious circle (hence the reason why they have to wait to be fed sometimes otherwise there just isnt enough there).

It has been suggested that I maybe give them one bottle of formula a day (maybe the evening feed) so I can have a break but my emotions wont let me do this (im my own worse enemy really!) I plan to wean them onto a bottle by about 3/4 months anyway.

Has anyone mix fed in this way and have a positive story. Im worried my milk will dry up or the boys wont be able to do both, although they have reluctantly taken a bottle up to now. TThe other thing im worried about is my emotional health. I havent mentioned this to anyone but I find it very difficult to give them a bottle. I dont know why but I really have to force myself to do it. Will giving them a regular bottle make me feel like a failure as I already feel a little like im failing at the moment by even considering it but I dont think I can go on this way either.

Please help!

Gemma, Ryan and Alfie (5 + 5)

[Modified by: Gemmiebaby on 16 November 2009 21:53:30 ]
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Replies

  • Gemma you are doing an amazing job, you should be so proud of yourself!

    I am mixed feeding (just the one baby!) but she is a milk monster and I got to the point where I wanted to give up bf completely as it was really affecting me and making me really stressed.

    I decided to try mixed feeding at about 4 weeks. I actually cried the first time I gave her formula as I felt I was letting her and myself down which is ridiculous but that is the kind of pressure we put on ourselves!!

    Mixed feeding has been going great for me. For every bottle I gave I expressed so I don't think it affected my supply at all - she certainly seems to be getting enough!

    She is now nearly 10 weeks so almost 6 weeks of mixed feeding for us and she is gaining weight nicely!

    I still get the odd twang of guilt that I didn't exclusively bf for longer but the result is a much happier baby and a much more relaxed mummy!

    Plus hubby can help out with feeds and that frees up a little time so I can have a nice bath or just get some chores done!

    Sorry if I have waffled a bit but if you have anymore questions feel free to email me image
  • I cant help with the milk supply questions because I started to mix feed at 3.5 weeks and I only last 10 days before finally giving in and going totally formula fed so mine was never really affected but I also went through a major guilty phase about my decision so can sympathise with that.

    I found it hard having a baby almost permanently attached to me (like you say its a viscious circle of needing to eat but being unable to) and so I tried expressing so my hubby could feed her when he got into work and I could have some 'me' time but this made me more tired because if I wasnt feeding I was expressing and I was exhausted. The final straw was when she fed every hour one night and I broke down the next day and gave in and gave her some formula because I just needed a break. It ended up the best decision ever.

    What I would say is dont feel like a failure or guilty. I cried for days about my decision and felt people were judging me but at the end of the day your boys wont know the difference but you will feel so much better if you can have some time to shower, eat and just have a bit of you time and someone else can feed them for you whilst you do this. You have exclusively breast fed twin boys for 6 weeks and for that you deserve a medal!

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do and just remember - you arent a failure. Your well being is important too.

    xx
  • Hi there,
    I know its really hard and emotionally draining at times, but look at far you've come. Hats off for doing so well!
    I breastfeed my lil girl exclusively till 6 weeks, at this time she had already started sleeping through. The sleepless nights started and I just coulnd'nt settle her or satisfy her with breast alone. After talking to my HV and much convinncing I began feeding her formula as the last feed. It was an instant relief and big help. I wasnt sure on combined feeding, but it did seem to help.

    Although saying this by week 10 she was completley on bottles, it seemed to satisfy her more and as long as the weight was going on I was pleased. It did seem a shame as I really did struggle the first two weeks, to have to stop but she was never full. I'm glad it worked out, as I was feeling run down at one point.
    Dont beat yourself up, maybe buy a tin of formula and leave it in the cupboard. Just knowing its in the house as a back up helped me to carry on with the breast.

    Remember as long as they are happy and putting weight on, you are doing a great job however you feed. x
  • Wow - you are doing a fantastic job! I don't think most people, myself included, could have ebf twins that long!

    I started off bf but had really bad thursh in milk ducts and so at 11 weeks started to mix feed. I managed to carry on bf until 4 months when I moved to just ff as my milk had more or less dried up (I was feeding both breasts each feed for my hungry lo). I loved the combination of still being able to bf but having the ease of bottles too. From day 1, I expressed for the 10pm feed so my lo was used to a bottle. So I want to reassure you that if that is the way you decide to go your milk will last for the 3/4 months you want to bf. I will be honest too and say my LO went through a stage of refusing the bottle when we started introducing more formula but that could have been down too reflux problems. After a few weeks he improved though.

    So we had a fairly positive experience. I did feel a bit down about it for a while as I had so wanted to bf. But I am happy that I did the best that I could. It certainly sounds that you are doing the best you can for your boys! You have no reason to feel a failure for introducing a bottle. They could be going through a growth spurt at the mo so this may just last a little while. If you do choose to introduce a bottle at any point because you feel exhausted please don't feel guilty. Remember your boys would rather a rested and happy mummy xx
  • when the twins were born they were in hospital for 5wks in this time i expressed and they were feed through the bottle,i fully intended to continue this when they came out but the nurses did warn me how much hard work it would be as well as looking after my 2 year old,i did try a week and in the end it was too much,i just couldnt do it so i had to switch to formula,i mixed feed for a week to wean them on it and after that they were on it full time and i was GUTTED! i felt like i failled them in some way but i couldnt understand why i felt like that cos i never breastfeed or expressed with my son so i couldnt understand it,it was agers before the guilt went but i knew at the end of the day i had made the right choice for me and thats all what you have to do,do whats right for you

    sarah
  • hi, i started mix feeding ds at 3 weeks old, dtarted with just abottle about 9pm to also try to get in to some sort of bed routine. then at 14 weeks i added another bottle around lunchtime as this was when we tednto be out and i still ahdn'tquite mastered public feeidng lol. we carried on like this until he was weaning and then he dropped a couple of breastfeeds, at 6 months he was having 2 breast and two bottle, then he dropped his mid morning breastfeed, so down to 1 breast feed (the wakeing one, i wanted to kleep this til last as too lazy to get up and make bottles first thing lol) at just over 7 months he was no longer interested in the boob and was far too easily distracted to breastfeed him and get him to actually take anything. so at 7 months he was completely off the boob and 3 bottles and 3 meals a day. tbh before that first ff, i didn't wanna do it, it was my mum and my Oh that kept saying i needed a rest, but after a week, i saw a huge difference in my temprement and i wa smuch calmer and able to deal with the demands of a baby. if i hadn't starte when i did i reckon a couple of more weeks and i wld have stopped completely, but from mixed feeding i managed to breastfeed him until he was 7 months old, which i'm very proud of. i didn't like breastfeeding for those early weeks, but once we started the mix feeding i was much more relaxed and really began to enjoy the closeness, but also knowing the possibilty was there to hand him over to OH if it got a bit too much again, i think that was the beauty of it to me, knowing i didn'thave to do it all if i needed a break i cld have one. altho i do miss breastfeeding him, especially in the mornings lol! but i do get the odd lie in now...woohoo! xx

    [Modified by: siany on November 14, 2009 02:53 PM]

  • Wow, you are doing great.

    We were starting with a bottle of formula at about 10 weeks. I needed some sleep and my oh did the first night feed at about 1, than I breastfed the feeds at 3,5 and 7 and the rest of the day. It worked for quite a while. Unfortunately at 17 weeks we went on holiday and we were not constantly breastfeeding. We were at family and such and did not feel comfertable feeding in public.

    After we came back I just did not had the supply anymore to keep breastfeeding. Still did the morning feed for a while, but slowly just gave in and gave him formula.

    If I would not have been so easy when we went on holiday I would still be breastfeeding with his night feed being formula. (he also had a bedtime bottle, but that was ebm which I expressed when oh was feeding him)
  • Sorry, double post!

    [Modified by: kristinmc on November 14, 2009 06:01 PM]

  • Congratulations. You have done an amazing job so far to BF 2 for so long!

    I did mix feed, from 1 week old in the end as DS lost too much weight and then wasn't feeding enough when he was admitted back into hospital so he was tube fed formula as I couldn't express enough above what he was taking from me, and then I managed to get him to take a bottle in the end so we could go home.

    I did manage to keep the breastfeeding up so he was breastfed for most of the day, and then I just did 1 bottle topup as his last feed of the day. Over the first 4 months I went from doing the bottle as formula, to a mix of formula and expressed, 2 weeks where it was fully expressed milk, and then back to formula again. He also had formula on some occassions when we were out or I just felt I'd fed him for far too long (3 out of 4 hours type thing) and needed a break.

    I was lucky and he happily switched between formula and BF without any problems, I did get a break and it was nice to be able to sit back and let DH/Grandma etc do the odd feed. I continued to mix feed until gone 6 months (my original target for exclusively BF) until I was ready to drop feeds or switch to formula. It worked very well for us, helped him sleep through far earlier that I think he would have done on BF alone, and gave him a more positive, less tired Mummy.

    I have had 2 other friends mix feed for similar lengths of time with the same success so it is perfectly possible to do, without it affecting your supply so you can't BF.

    As far as the emotions of giving a bottle are concerned, it's probably something you need to think on and examine for yourself. At first giving a bottle was something I had no real choice on - at gone midnight when the choice is a bottle or a tube it's easy to decide bottle (though the little bugger refused it, and the cup!). I was always intending to do some bottlefeeding, I just hadn't decided when or how so there wasn't a big battle within myself that I hadn't reached the goal I set.

    Longer term, I did like the bottle feed as it meant he could have a feed from Dad so they built up a closer bond. It was also nice to see him being fed by his Gran or Grandad on occassions and I really valued that they could help me, and I could have some personal time to myself without having to worry about DS, even if it was just time to sink into the sofa and watch TV or make dinner. I also felt less like a literal cow with my tits out for him to feed off for most of the day (he was a slow feeder so one feed could take up to 1.5 hours, then it would start again an hr later).

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
  • Triple is a bit excessive, especially as I waffle!
    :lol::lol::lol:

    [Modified by: kristinmc on November 14, 2009 06:02 PM]

  • Thankyou for all your replies.

    I read my post back and realised just how many different issues im having with things. I dont think people realise things sometimes until they write them down.

    I think I find the difficult times so easy to forget which is why I beat myself up about giving a bottle. Im already sitting here thinking 'Well, last night wasnt really that bad' when I know that it was as I did only get 90mins sleep. (I hope that makes sense)

    I have lots of different issues I need to face but its nice to see that people have positive things to say about mix feeding. Im sure id be well on the way to serious PND had it not been for this site. As it happens, this site encourages me to open up so thanx - I really mean it.

    With regards to the mix feeding - think we may be starting to give an evening bottle before bed as of Monday. Wish me luck xxx
  • Please dont feel bad about mixed feeding, as whats best for mum is best for baby.

    I mixed fed pretty much from day 1 as my milk was slow to come in, and when my midwife came to visit and found a screaming baby with a hysterical mum it wa she who suggested giving a bottle of formula.
    I initially felt really guilty, and would make my OH feed while I sat in another room, but it really helped settle my little one down.
    I carried on mixed feeding, usually around 1 botlle of formula a day, until both me and my little one got a chest infection, when she suddenly wanted to bf all the time and refused the bottle, I found my supply hadnt been affected and she kept gaining weight. This carried on for around 16 weeks.

    She had developed really bad reflux around 12 weeks, and I found it very difficult to deal with the fact that my milk was making her sick, so decided to move onto just forumla at around 18 weeks. This was on doctors advice as he felt I would be better able to cope emotionally with giving forumla as opposed to the reflux on breast milk.

    I initially hated giving formula, and i do really miss bf, however the mixed feeding worked really well for me.

    good luck xxx
  • ohhhhhh hun - I have told you before and I will keep on saying it (as everyone else has been) - YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB! Give yourself a pat on the back and recognise yor fab work!

    It is bloody hard work breastfeeding in those early days and I totally know what you mean about the bad stuff suddenly seeming not so bad I would sit bawling my eyes out through the night feeds when Max wouldn't latch on or was screaming through it and I would be sat there thinking 'in the morning I AM going to buy formula' and then come the day time I would think 'oh that wasn't so bad I will try another day'.

    But I know a fair few mums who have very successfully mixed fed and no it has not affected supply. I really don't think you should see it as 'giving up' it is a proactive decision to create a happiler more relaxed mummy. You will not have failed ANYONE if you CHOOSE to offer a bottle of formula!!!

    HUGS and I hope tonight is better image
  • Firstly, well done again on exclusively bfeeding your boys so far.

    I mix fed the girls until they were 3 months.

    I used to give them bottles when we were out and for their bedtime feed. Occasionally, in the night, they would also have a bottle if I was really tired and OH would get up with them.
    I had desperately wanted to exclusively bfeed them but they were very slow feeders and I never mastered feeding them both at once so I found, as they got older and were awake more, I was spending too much time feeding and not enough time with them!
    Once I got over the stigma I had created in my own head, attached to of giving them formula, we were all so much happier. Feeding became a much smaller part of our day and we had more time to play, chat and go out and about.

    Not sure if this helps, but the view I took was as follows....

    Before I got pregnant, if someone had've asked me how I saw my ideal pregnancy/birth/baby, I would've said, I imagine myself having 1 baby, wanting a natural birth, breastfeeding etc.
    That was taken out my hands when I was blessed with 2 and had to have a c-section so it stands to reason that my others ideas had to give a little too. As I see it, I've done the best I can given our circumstances (as will you have, whatever you decide) and ultimately, the girls still had some breastmilk until they were 3 months old which is much more than some babies get, although obviously not as much as others. Not sure if this helps but wanted to share.

    I think the main thing (which I know you already know), is that no-one will think any less of you for giving one, two or all bottles of formula but you need to be at a point in your head where you're comfortable (ish) with it and not beating yourself up

    xxx
  • T4BM - Thats exactly how I feel. My view of pregnancy was 1 baby, natural labour, breastfeeding and, as much as I wouldnt change it now and absolutely adore my boys, it took me a LONG time to get used to the fact that there would be 2! Everyone says to me, 'Oh, I would have loved twins' and my reply is always 'I wouldve loved a single baby!' People think that EVERYONE would love to have twins but I just didnt, and still sometimes crave that single baby. I wouldnt change it now as I really love my babies but that view took me a long time to change. Its nice to hear im not alone.

    Also, thats the struggle - ME being comfortable with it. Everyone can say that there is no difference and milk IS very good these days but that doesnt stop me thinking that im failing my boys. I am starting to come to terms with it though and do have a couple of cartons in the house 'just in case'. Thank you for your replies xxx
  • Gemmie, first of all, hats (many of them!) off to you for breastfeeding two. I remember how hard the first months were with just one so am really, really impressed and I hope you are justly proud of what you have achieved so far.

    No advice on mixed feeding, I'm afraid, but I did want to reassure you that the emotions you are feeling are entirely normal, on two levels. Firstly, coming to terms with an unexpected aspect of birth/pregnancy. I convinced myself that I was going to have a girl, to the point where I was completely shocked to be told I had just given birth to a boy. It took me several weeks to come to terms with. I adore my son and wouldn't change him for all the girls in the world, but it still takes time to get your head around something as significant as the sex of your baby, or indeed their numbers. I'm sure that if I had had twins I would feel exactly the way you do as well, so no, very definitely, you are not alone.

    Secondly, the mental block about formula feeding which I know oh, so well. Peter doesn't sleep through and if I had a pound for the number of times we have been told to give him formula last thing at night (he currently has a bottle of EBM) I'd be a significantly richer woman! But I can't bring myself to do it and another mother in my mum and baby group is exactly the same way. It isn't high mindedness, just bloody mindedness really. Formula today is really good and works for so many women and their babies, just not for us. So again, totally normal.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I know it will be the best for both you and your boys.
  • Thanx. The mental block thing is exactly how O feel but the problem is, I know im going to HAVE to do it at some point. Actually, I seemed to have turned a corner today and suddenly feel better (I wouldnt say OK, but better) about it. I know that I cant really go on this way as im on my own so much of the time so dont even have a husband to hand over to, and im exhausted. Im worried that, if I dont do something im going to regret not enjoying my boys in their first months.

    With regards to the sex/number of babies thing, its lovely that everyone is so besotted with the idea of twins, and, like I say I would never change them, but it isnt what I wanted when I thought about my family. I miss not being able to devote myself to one baby and sometimes feel like im desperately trying to get one to finish quickly so I can feed the other one, then have 30mins to myself before it all starts again. Thats the main reason for the ff. Have decided to phase it in so they are bf at least 1 or 2 feeds until they are 3 months. Im starting to realise that 6 weeks exclusive bf is actually a great achievement, and im NOT giving up, just doing whats best xxx
  • Just thought id update as you were all so lovely to me.

    After much fighting with my emotions, and a long chat with hubby, I have decided that it would be best for my sanity to begin giving the boys a regular bottle. I dont like randomly giving them as I dont think its fair on the boys tummies (I cant express enough to give them a full feed and we have found they dont take breastmilk very well from a bottle). So, were starting with every night feed (9pm ish although im still not 'routine-ing' them properly) as a bottle. Tonight was the 2nd night and has gone well so far. We have now decided that we will wean them onto a bottle for 1 feed a week, so this week is the 9pm feed, then we will add the 1am feed next week and so on.

    I felt this would work best for us as the boys are still getting the benefit of bm till at least 3 months, im not just 'stopping' which will be good for my boobs and my emotions, and the boys will be on bottles by Christmas.

    I feel really proud of myself for getting this far and, although im gutted to be stopping, I do think its for the best as the last week has been very trying, and, although people say it isnt possible, im sure that there isnt enough milk for both boys which is why they are feeding all the time. This way, im empty by 9pm, they have a bottle, then im full by 1am and it takes the rest of the day, with proper feeds rather than snacking, for me to be empty again.

    So, again, thankyou for your help. It is really appreciated xxx

    Gemma, Ryan and Alfie (6 weeks)
  • Well done, I think you've made a very brave and sensible choice for your boys. I can't believe how well you've done with bf twins so far. I'm sure your boys will settle well with bottles and you'll have more time to play with them and rest. Good luck! xx
  • So glad you have come to a decision that you feel settled with and that will work well for you all!

    GO GO GEMMIEBABY! image
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