getting stressed, hot and flustered!

Hey ladies!

I still have an issue about going out with Charlie and it's starting to upset me as I had so many plans of what I was going to do when i became a mum but i feel im wasting my maternity leave - can you offer any words of wisdom!

Firstly the thought of getting ready to go out puts me off from the word go! I try and get organised the day before so I only have myself and Charlie to get ready but he hates getting dressed to go out so straight away i get stressed, hot and flustered and everything takes twice as long which makes me shattered before i've gone anywhere and i just feel it's asier to stay at home.

This is then folowed by screaming as I struggle to get him in the car seat, he stiffens his body and won't bend at the hips so again its soooo much harder than it should be. He does fall asleep in the car but again hen i have to strap him into the pushchair off he goes again! And I continue to feel stressed by it and am just not enjoying my time out!

when he wants his feed he screams for it straight away - there is no pre-warning and this too puts me off going anywhere with him as I worry i will have to walk through town with a screaming baby with everyone looking at me whilst i go and find somewhere to feed him (and also the thought of having to take him in and out of the pushchair again is a nightmare!)

We only have the one car so during the week im stuck at home altho i do have it on a weds but tend not to do much, possibly go to my mums or the baby group. There are buses but they do not run that regularly and it takes an hour to get into town by bus BUT again the thought of Charlie crying whilst on the bus scares me, what if i can't settle him or people start staring at me and im stuck on there - there's nothing i can do.

I realise i sound pathetic and i had so many ideas whilst i was pregnant of proudly walking around town with this quiet baby, meeting friends & family, going to groups but in reality im doing bugger all and i hate it!! I want the confidence to be able to cope with Charlie when he's grizzly/upset and enjoy my M/L but everything just feels like hard work!!

Don't get me wrong Charlie is a happy baby just doesn't like getting ready to go out!:cry:


  • i dont really know what to say as iv never had this problem but i think that could be down to the fact that my kids have all been fully dressed and out of the house almost every day since they were born including the day they were born, i took charlie shopping to asda when he was just 10 hours old, then the next morning i had him and the other two up and dressed to take the oldest to school
  • Hi
    I usually time going out around their meal or snack times, well where I can of course. If I give them milk before going out, then they're usually ok. Also I try to feed them to the same routine, e.g. lunch at 12:30 - so that way I'm getting them fed before they get to a meltdown! Doesn't work for everyone but I find it helpful. Does Charlie have a set routine?

    Also I find they've got to have a toy to play with in the pushchair. If I forget that then there's trouble!

    I've got twins so can sympathise about the not wanting to go out. Sometimes it seems so much effort to get them all dressed & ready, it's easier to stay in. I've been holed up for the last week blaming the snow, but am making myself go out this week. I think it's important for them to get to their baby groups etc, so they interact with the other babies. I find the baby groups the easiest, at least there are other Mums there to help.

  • hi hun! not really anxiety but i do lack confidence - big time!!! Always have done!!! I get easily flustered and therefore stressed - im sure it doesn't help that Charlie is teething at the mo (got his 2nd tooth today) just been sat on the floor in tears cradling him as he wouldn't stop screaming, he finally cried himself to sleep but how could i go anywhere if he was like that!!! I think like you said Katie 'practice makes perfect', because we don't go out that often he's not used to it but the more i do it and make the effort the more he'll get used to it - i can hope anyway! xx
  • I'm exactly the same and like you it's due to no confidence, hugely! I get flustered at the slightest thing, and end up having a hot flush! It doesn't stop me going places, but that's only because i make myself go out and just get on with it. Thankfully Lucy loves going out and about (she's soooo nosey!)
  • My charlotte is now 1 and she still gets grumpy when putting & strapping her in seats etc!! I have gotten used to ignoring her - lol! Yes it is very hard. I suffer with pnd due to anxiety but I have forced myself to do a lot of things to overcome them. the best thing I do is block these things that are happening as your lo can pick up on any tension from you. I always make sure I take plenty of toys with me and dummies!
    My next task is to go to a mother & baby group as my hv,gp and everyone else keeps telling me to do it as lo needs to socialise and so do I. Just need to overcome my shyness meeting people face to face - so you are not alone hun xxxxxx
  • hun, im sorry your feelin like this. i do think it gets easier the more you do it. have you spoken to hv bout anxiety as she may be able to help. she may also be able to give you tips on how to appear calm as this does help - babies know more than ppl give them credit for and hel pick up on your worries. fin hates gettin dressed so i now we treat it as a big game of peek a boo so its not as that
  • I feel the same, Gabe doesnt much like getting his coat on either and I do find it takes AGES to get out the house, it winds me up so much! The change bag is always ready packed the night before but I still struggle. I cant get out any earlier than 9am, I have NO idea how working mums cope as I couldnt! It doesnt help that Gabes a late riser and rarely wakes before 8 these days!!!
    When Charlies a bit older and can be distracted easily by food or toys it may be easier. I know its late but could you get a travel system so you don't have to wake him up to put him in the pushchair, just clip the carseat on. I find this a godsend still & Gabe's 9 months
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