i wanna go home :(

sorry, this is going to be a whiney post so feel free to stop reading now! lol

i'm just really fed up at the minute, i love my OH and my LO to bits but i'm so bored and fed up constantly lately. i moved in with the OH when i found out i was pregnant but although he only lives 25 mins or so away from where i used to live it's more like 60-90 mins away on public transport with LO. i have no friends up here and know no-one at all. there is a surestart center just down the street from me and i'm enrolled for baby massage and yoga at it but i feel so out of place as all the mums (the same ones from my antenatal classes) are much older than me and never talk to me even if i try (i'm not exactly shy so it's not that! lol)

on top of this there's nowhere for me to take LO apart from the center, there's no parks, play areas, sensory rooms or anything round here and the ones i have found that aren't too far away i have no idea how to get too. i've decided to start swimming with LO and she starts waterbabies next month but i'd managed to find a pool she was allowed in that's only ten mins from mine on the bus...however i have no idea of my way around the areas as i've never lived anywhere near where i am now so need my OH to show me how to get to places, he's always saying he will but never does even when i go on about it image

i miss all my friends and although i do get to see them every now and again in the city center i've only seen my two best friends twice since LO was born 3 months ago as it's too hard to arrange seeing each other without lots of notice (one is at uni & other has a little boy). it feels like the only person i ever get to talk to is my OH and even then this doesn't really help as he comes home from work spends an hour with LO then spends rest of night on his pc trying to chill out after stressful days at work which i understand, but he is literally the only person i get to see most weeks (

it's so ridiculous, i'm sitting here crying practically as i write this because i'm so lonely and bored, and he's off out straight after work tonight so il be home alone again (this is the 3rd weekend running he's been out one night), it's not like i dont get tto do this, i'm out on sunday for my 2 best friends' birthdays but it's back at my home so i'm gonna have to leave by ten at the latest otherwise it's a 35 pound taxi fare home image i'd actually give anything to have a really demanding/stressful baby to at least give me something to do, but even she is a dream (sleeps a 12 hhour night, feeds 4 hourly during day, hardly ever cries, happy to play on own etc).

just feeling sorry for myself, i wanna go home where i have friends, and where there's parks and playareas and things for me to do :cry:

finished my whiney post for today now, i'm sure il feel better later lol

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  • Gosh, you're doing really well. I have also felt lonely bored and fed up, and really wanting my old social/work life in a way. I too have a sure start centre and meet with antenatal mums, they are nice and similar age to me, and we get on well, and yet i am STILL bored and lonely. It is just very isolating having a small baby. You are restricted by them and your life is sooooo different from what it was. Im finding a bit easier now its warmer weather.

    Did you live with your parents before living with OH? Maybe you could go and stay with them on the nights your OH is out? I have to say, taht i would be pretty pissed off if my husband was out socially 2-3 times a week. Im breastfeeding, so havent had a night out since September!! by the evening, i need my husband to give me some space away from the baby, even if its just 30mins. Can you talk to him, ask him to cut down his time out a little?

    I really hope you work something out, it is so difficult adjusting to life as a mum.

    hang on in there, Em xx
  • thanks hun, glad to know i'm not the only fed up and bored person out there! lol

    guess i'm just especially fed up today as he's going bowling after work and it sounds so stupid but it was meant to be us going as i had mentioned that i hadnt been since before i was pregnant and there's a new alley opened lately. so i was all happy when he said we'd go and have a night out (even if it meant taking LO) but then he went and arranged it for tonight when my mum was meant to be having LO for the first time, but he knew she didn't finish work til 8 so i wouldn't be able to get to bowling til 9pm at earliest by which point they'll be fed up as they're going at half 4 when they finish. my mum rang yesterday to say she would just pick LO up in the morning instead though as she knew i was a bit huffed about not getting to go tonight, so mentioned it to him last night about me being able to go now even if it meant taking Lo and he basically ignored me. then sauntered out of house this morning saying il see you when i get in tonight image so now i don't even have going to my mum's to fill in my night now and am home alone with nothing to do.

    i do normally stay at my mum's once a week as i wanted to go back to karate as i was just about to do my black belt when i got pregnant so i'm desperate to do that as soon as i can now, but even that is going to have to get put on hold as i've just found out LO's waterbabies lessons are going to be at 9am on a wednesday and i can't get back from my mum's in time for that. so looks like i'm back to being bored every day, not just most image

    i was really looking forward to going to pics with OH tomorrow too as it will be first full day without having LO to look after but i really just don't wanna go now as i don't even wanna see OH as i'm so upset and frustrated that i know il just end up starting a fight image

    i want my mam! lol
  • i have no advice but i just wanted to sympathise with you. I really do understand how you feel as i feel similar to you, i do have friends and family around but my friends want to go out at night and i just don't feel up to it yet and they don't understand. I ahve family near by and while everyone fussses over the baby no one asks how i am or how i'm feeling its all about how well the baby is doing yet i just feel i need to escape.
    Maybe even if you can't get to your karate you could arrange to spend a a day or night a week at your mums anyway just to get a break and you could maybe meet up with your friens then.
  • aww hun i really feel for you. i admire you for moving away to be with your oh, but totally understand how lonely you must feel. maybe you should sit down with oh and have a good talk about it and explain how hard you are finding maybe he could take you out with his friends who im assuming have girlfriends? that way you could make some friends? its great that you are starting to do things with lo and hopefully you will meet other mums that way aswell.


    ashy xx
  • I wonder if theres some mums on here where you live ? I think its awful that yr hubby has gone out does he know how you feel ? If he does then he should be doing more to help you relax and meet people. He should also b making more of a fuss of you. Is there anyway you both could move back to your area xxx
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