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Funny Comments In Labour!



  • I just remembered! I did shout a couple of times during pushing.. I shouted mother Fu*ker a couple of times.. And even in deep concentration I remember thinking to myself, 'stop saying that it's so inaproppriate' haha xx
  • with DS i was high on G&A & pethidine i kept singing afroman beacause I got high! then an irish midwife came in and i was convinced she was a nun and had been sent in because something was wrong with my baby i freaked!!! in the end poor hubby had to ask if there was anyother midwife LOL. With my DD i just kept telling the midwife quite sternley that I WAS GOING TO SLEEP AND JUST WAKE ME UP WHEN BABY WAS OUT!!! (I had been awake for about 20 hours and was just exhausted x
  • omg dee dee you uhad me in stitches there I think that will keep me smiling the rest of the day I'm even lol as I type this classic!!
  • These are funny, and I think I can laugh more 'cos I have been through this! lol Labour is like a womans war story, God when I think about it all I'm horrified! Seriously, the indignity is scary.

    I got super duper polite in labour, we'd been stuck in hospital from the previous evening and I had bloody monitors strapped to me and a canular so couldn't move off the bed and I was awake all night listening to this woman screaming down the whole hospital and thinking I don't want to do that! So 24 hours later theres me in labour groaning like an injured animal thinking I best keep the noise down lol MW's kept saying they'd struck gold haa ha. Then I remember burping and being horrified and apologising to everyone, MW's were laughing. Then I remember pooping in labour and getting really upset, moaning, 'I've pooped, I know I've pooped, God sorry, so sorry, I've pooped!' And MW's plus hubby kept saying I hadn't then I felt my bum being wiped and said, 'See!!! I knew I'd pooped!! How embaressing' lol

    So funny, but only now! Definitely not during xxx
  • @ are they doing with that pool and i went berserk! Once i was in the pool i was as quiet as a lamb lol!!
  • Loving all of these ... almost makes labour sound fun!!

    I'm going to truly embarrass myself now .... when baby made his head down it made me trump very loudly (I'm such a prude usually and even run the tap when I have a wee if hubby nearby ... !!), I said to the midwife "Was that you?!", talk about trying to blame someone else!

    I also apologised after every contraction for not making conversation with her ... because I'm sure she expected me to be discussing politics or current affairs :roll: !!!
  • I was induced and taken up to the labour ward when i was 7cm. As it happened very quickly and i got to 7cm in less than 2 hours i had had no pain relief so was determined i wanted an epidural. The whole way up in my wheelchair i announced to every passing person that i was getting an epidural and would they promise that they wouldnt let the MW stop me from having one.
    I had 2 drs in the lift promise me they would give me an epidural themselves just to shut me up (not my drs - just randoms!).

    When i got the G&A the contractions stopped so i announced i wouldnt be pushing the baby out, and started questioning the 2 MWs about how much they enjoyed their jobs, and did they see many difficult births etc.
  • Ha ha these are fab - I was taken in by ambulance and they gave me the precious G&A enroute. When we arrived the receptionist on the delivery suite asked my OH what my DOB was. He gave me a look of total panic and said...'erm....24th September...??'

    To which I shouted around the corner, '11th October - I can see no bloody present for me this year then'. Then I was convinced that everyone thought I had just picked this random man up off the street and was defiantly telling everyone that this was not the case, that he was actually the father of my baby, I promise....
  • lol :lol:

    I was off my face on g&a during my 13 hour labour and asked hubby if I would need a wheelchair to go shopping at Sainsburys now that my legs didn't work (from my 3rd epidural ;\) ) when he said no I told him it was ok because I'd seen that they have wheelchairs you can use in B&Q, then promptly fell asleep for an hour in the middle of labour, maybe I passed out lol!
  • I told my husband as I was pushing out her head "you can f**k having a son"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Katexxxx, that's hillarious!! Laughing my head off i am! Hubby must think i'm crazy!

    I tell u wat ladies- i had a right game when i was in labour. 26 hours and an emcs but i'd do it all over again for the glorious G&A and pethadine combo which had me high as a kite!!

    i've remembered another funny moment:

    after arriving at the hospital for the second time (i'd been sent home 12 hours earlier because i was only 1cm) i asked the midwife whether if they checked me and i was less than 4cm they would send me home and she said they would so i politely said in that case you're not checking me then and i'm not going home, please let me stay! Thankfully they admitted me into one of the birthing suites. The lovely lady hands me the G&A mouth piece and i beging sucking away on it (absolutely amazing stuff!!!) so contraction over i turn to the midwife and say "all week i've been praying for this baby to come, all week! (he was 7 days late) And look at the state of me now! I should have kept my bloody mouth shut!" lol!
  • These stories are so funny lol

    With my little girl I had a lot of pethadine and G&A and was not with it at all. I am a nurse and decided I knew better then the Midwives and was trying to tell them what to do. As if I know like I said a nurse not a midwife. I think I was just making things up as I went along!

    With my son I had no pain relief so I don't know why I was so mad. I was induced and went from 1 to 10cm in half an hour. It was so painful but the midwife didn't want to examine me because it hadn't been that long and I couldn't possibly be much futher along. My Mum just thought I was a wimp so I started shouting for an epidural while crying that I was so embarassed that I was like the ginger girl on one born every minute. When the epidural came I was pushing and the midwife was shocked to say the least haha

    I always said my worst nightmare would be pooing myself during labour and it happened with my son with 2 student doctors sat at the bottom of the bed watching. To my horror looking back though I actually found it funny and told the whole room that I was going to tell all my friends. How how embarassing!!!!!!! Needless to say I haven't told anyone. Accept you lot now haha
  • These are great!!! I had a loooong labour, proper contractions for 48 hours and not much sleep at all. When I got to the hospital I was told the baby had slipped to being back to back, despite being in the perfect position for weeks. So I just turned round and declared I was going no further until he had got back into the right position.

    We had some music going when I was on G&A and I must've been well out of it because I kept telling my hubby that the giant slugs were eating the music!!!! Wtf???!!!

    Later on when I had the syntocin drip to speed things up I was given an epidural, and at one point my hand moved to rest on my lady bits and I couldn't feel my hand so was convinced they'd left some cloths or something there, and told them off for being sloppy!
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