Are you honest about your baby's acheivements?

Hi everyone,

Following on from the thread over in toddler about ugly children, it got me thinking about how honest we are about our children's acheivements and if you are a bragger or not.

I am honest about what my dd has achieved and will own up if she hasn't done something that her peers are doing, for example she doesn't roll. She has rolled once each way and hasn't done it since. I don't think i brag about her however, i like to think i am sensitive to how other mums are feeling.
I can't stand parents who go on and on and on about how great their 2 week old baby is sleeping while a bedraggled mother is sitting in the corner exhausted because her older baby hasn't slept for more than an hour at a time. It amuses me when their 'angel' then decides to have a major growth spurt and doesn't sleep for a week! I am also quick to point out any faults (with myself and dd) before anyone else can point them out, i suppose i am quite defensive.

My mil was talking to her sister over in south africa on the phone the other week and her sister was going on and on about how perfect her grandchild was, my mil turned round and said, 'well mine is a monster, she just screams and doesn't sleep' :lol: It was a slight exaggeration but my mil is not a showy/bragging type of person. Btw - that comment wasn't meant seriously it was meant to shock her sister! lol.

Anyway, i know that there are alot of good babies and alot of 'normal' babies out there, but i was just wondering if you stretch the truth about anything or if you downplay everything. So do you pick out your baby's faults or exaggerate their achievements?

Lx

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Posts

  • I think its much more fun to point out your babies faults and makes people feel more comfortable...no new mum wants to hang out with the mum of the 'perfect' baby!!!
  • i am fairly honest.... however sometimes i might be ashamed to admit and end up feeling i have to over explain myself. e.g. why i am not BF my lo!
    but then my girly is still only 3 weeks old!
  • I am happy to be honest about her achievements what she does and what she doesnt do, she is 10.5 months old and stood up from the ground without holding onto anything on Thursday so very proud, however she slept through from 8 weeks till 6 months and she now wakes up to 8 times a night and I am exhausted, she also throws the most god awful tantrums. So I think it balances itself out, my sil rubbed it into her cousin's little girl (who is a month older than hers) that her dd slept through from 10 weeks, walked at 10 months etc....I dont like that, I hate that people compete their children against each other, I think that people should be pleased how babies are coming along, being a parent is hard enough without competing them off against each other.

    Sorry im rambling a bit now :lol: dont know if that made any sense
  • I think I am fairly honest. I am the first to admit he isnt perfect! But all babies do things when they are ready too, so they are bound to be different!!
    xx
  • I TRY to be honest, but I have this "friend" (I don't really like her, but I suppose we're friends) that just goes ON and ON about how amazing her baby is and how good he is. She seems to make everything a competition, so when she's busy bragging about things I do try to say stuff about my LO that I think is amazing, but then of course she replies with "OH yeah, my LO was doing that AGES a go!" Can you see why I don't really like her? Hahaha.
    xxx
  • at the moment i feel like i have play down phoebes behaviour sometimes at the baby group. admittedly she has always been a 'sleeper', takes after her lazy dad haha! but when im at the baby group and they ask me how she sleeps and some of them moan about being up all night i dont feel like i have the right to tell the truth, i feel like i have to pretend she wakes up a couple of times even though she doesnt because if she was a bad sleeper i suppose i wouldnt like to hear people bragging. i mean, shes not always great at going to sleep initially, last week when i had friends over she decided she wouldnt go to bed until she had watched us eat our takeaway and had another full bottle (cheeky!) but once shes asleep she goes into a very deep sleep and doesnt really wake. the way i get round it is by simply not mentioning it unless im asked, i wont sit down and blurt out 'my baby sleeps through' followed by an evil laugh mwaahahahahaaa! i just dont bring the subject up. shes 15weeks now, she doesnt roll, she doesnt really attempt to grab stuff stuff yet and she is nowhere near ready to try solids, and i will openly admit all that, but i do feel bad about bragging. its strange, ooooh i quite like thinking about this topic, good thread!x
  • I try not to brag, but get really excited when Sophie does things for the first time (she's my first) and then end up posting it on Facebook, so it probably does sound like I'm bragging!

    But then I'm also the first to admit that she's never slept through the night and at nearly 18 weeks is no where near ready to wean so it's swings and roundabouts really.
  • I tell the truth. I'm like Mrs Bear though and end up posting on facebook, when James does something new. Being as most of the Jan babies are 'ahead' of James...not sure if this can be seen as bragging. I only have one friend with a baby the same age, and she's waaaaay ahead!

    I appreciate we're all proud of our lo's, and like to share their achievements. But it's the way you do it! :lol: xx
  • I am honest with both my girls achievements. Lizzie has done things slower than dd1 but they are so compltetly different people! dd1 was crawling early but never once even attempted to climb out of her cot but lizzie today climbed out of her highchair which she was strapped into!! I do put my childrens acheivements on fb admittedly but its only because i am proud of them not because i want to say mine does it-yours doesnt- its not like that at all. I mean lizzie doesnt say dadada or anything and will only say mumumumumum when she reallyu wants a cuddle when shes tired and i know alot of babaies her age are saying dadada and lots of other first words. I just think they all catch up in the end!
    xx
  • I put the achievements on facebook too but I don't see it as bragging, I hope nobody else thinks that, I think it is just sharing how proud we are of our los
  • i dont see the point of lying about their achievements, it would completely take the edge of the excitement when they did eventually do something for the first time!
    My DS was early to sit up but didnt roll for ages, he slept through the night from 3 months but was quite slow to start making cooing noises etc! I have a friend who's LO is 2 weeks older than my LO and i do find we compare all the time but not in a competative way, her DD was very quick to roll but didnt sit up for ages....

    like someone else said its swings and roundabouts! i think all babies are amazing really....such clever, fast growing little Einsteins!

  • I TRY to be honest, but I have this "friend" (I don't really like her, but I suppose we're friends) that just goes ON and ON about how amazing her baby is and how good he is. She seems to make everything a competition, so when she's busy bragging about things I do try to say stuff about my LO that I think is amazing, but then of course she replies with "OH yeah, my LO was doing that AGES a go!" Can you see why I don't really like her? Hahaha.
    xxx

    ditto. but mine also has on her fb info how she is an excellent mother to her children. seriously, excellent! i dont agree tbh. she didnt breastfeed because she had too much to do and how there were no suitable clothes to bf in during the winter months, and how t was much harder for her to bf than anyone else nt he world. now, i know people have their reasons, but that is pure nonesense. it followed messaging me and saying "i take it you are breastfeeding" in a condesending manner. well, yes I AM. lots of other stuff too. like how NOBODY weans at 6 months, how silly. she brags but it's sad really as really her situation in not good at all imho.

    and back to my dd. i put that she'd sat up at 5 months on fb, with a pic of her doing it as proof! but, as ive told the ladies on here before, she has read Hamlet, Harry Potter is too much of a child's book for her, she dances like a prima ballerina, and she sings like an angel. :lol: she's 5 and a half months. when someone brags to me i just say how all babies develop different things at different times. dd has been pretty textbook so far, so everything when she should and nothing early!
  • :lol: calleigh, my dd has the voice of an angel too! Although she is probably only appealing to dogs at the moment going by how high pitched she goes! :P

    I really hate it when people say that about their child doing something 'ages' ago! wtf! Their child is only a few months old, were they crawling at 3 months? :lol:

    Oh and i am another fb bragger, but i do it really to update friends and family as they love to hear about how emily is doing. I wouldn't put something that wasn't true purely to make my child look better than someone else's!

    I find most of these 'types' of mothers are at baby groups. One mum at a group i go to is always trying to compare her son to emily, he is a month younger (5 months) but i swear has all the abilities of a one year old! Well at least he has according to her! Poor wee man!

    Lx
  • i am terrible for size though. i was told throughout my pregnancy that ooh isnt your bump small. that must be a small baby. are you eating properly? i was huge at that stage. blah blah blah, so i tell everyone that she was 8lb at birth (not particularly big but above average and lots bigger than people made out she would be) and i also now tell everyone she s 91st centile! and wearing 6-9 month clothes, so there!
  • Always - I don't understand why anyone would want to lie. However if I feel someone is uncomfortable with the conversation, if there baby can do something that mine can't do, then I might point out something that my baby is good at but this is to make them feel better, rather that myself.

    I always ask other mums what there babies are doing and I love to compare but not in a competitive way. It just amazes me how individual they all are and how they develop xx
  • I try not to 'brag' but sometimes worry I am coming across that way when I am just being a proud mum. We have a friend who says things like, isn't my baby amazing and doesn't my wife look great, can you believe she just had a baby. Their LO was born the same day as ours. He might as well say your baby is crap and your wife is fat!
    I think there needs to be a fine line between being proud and bragging, I hope I don't cross it!
  • I'm guilty of fbooking too, but I don't see it as bragging, I'm just proud and want to share. Same as Sophie+Archie Ds has always been a sleeper, and I've always felt when asked I have to apologise before admitting he sleeps though. He's been trying to roll for a few weeks now but never made it all the way without a bit of help...I wouldn't exaggerate to say that he is rolling...
  • Miss Impatient - I think that most people can tell the difference between proud and bragging. Sebastian isn't doing half the things at 8 months that some of the other babies from the Born in Jan forum are but when the ladies post on there about there LO's achievments I don't feel jealous or anything because I know they are just updating.

    I also have a friend and every time I say to her that Sebastian is doing xxx she says that her baby boy is almost doing the same - he is 5 months younger, so in most cases I seriously doubt it.

    Also as a second time mum I'm tended towards wanting to keep him as a baby instead of wishing him onto the next stage as I know how short this time really is.
  • my dd is only 11 weeks so i cant comment on her 'achievements' as such yet but i am very proud of her already,...of how soon she smiled, how 'chatty' she is now, how soon she started holding her head up etc but i dont brag about it and i dont compare it to other peoples babies (one of my cousins had a wee girl 2 weeks before me and another one a wee boy 2 days before me) and while i dont like to brag i imagine there will be some sort of comparrisons and competitions made as last week at a family party first time i have seen them it was all 'is megan doing this yet' ;is she doing that' ;when did she do that' etc etc buit then my cousin has always been like that 'how much did your house cost? mine cost x amount'; or 'my wedding was ??20k how much did you spend' and i think some people are just of that personality...

    i am younger than my cousin and know i have a more expensive mortgage and car or whatever but i dont go about going 'oohh my car is so much more expensive than yours' and 'my house cost such and such' and i wouldnt do it with my baby but if she is like that then thats going to irritate me - if that makes sense? i wont lie about it but when pushed i could 'brag' if you could call it that but then if she wasnr doing something i would say so and say how great it is that their little one was....

    all i got last week was questions about sleeping - yeah she sleeps through the night and always has done but im fully preparing myself for growth spurts and teething etc when it might not be like this (some nights she is quite bad with sleep so its by no means 'perfect') as i think like another poster said it all balances itslef out in time...

    my problem is that yes i know all babies are different and develop at different paces and some crawl some dont etc - i am a neonatal nurse and i see so many babies - im a health visitor and i guess cause of that i know what the 'right time' should be for things and reckcon i will always be aware of that...my dd is very bright and alert but has been since about 2 weeks old and holding her head quite early but as proud as i am i dont go and broadcast it to everyone as i reckon it would be irritating (e.g my cousin) i hope this makes sense? i also dont have facebook.

    i do feel like i have to justify myself to people though e.g i am bottle feeding and why im not breastfeeding before they comment as i feel like im being judged and i guess its wrong to worry about what they are thinking...

    im waffling now...

    Lx
  • in response to your last sentence laurz (not that i think you're bragging, but just because people say thi a lot), if people brag to me about their bottle baby sleeping through, i always reply with well dd is ebf, which is much easier to digest (and the next bit in my head) so stick that up your bum. image
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