What do you think works better - bigger or smaller age gaps?

Hi ladies,

I was just looking for a general opinion on how you find the age gaps between your children or what you plan them to be if you only have the one at the moment.

Basically, we have a 3 year gap between our eldest daughter and our youngest who will be 1 next week. We definately would like to try for a third and i always assumed that we would leave another 3 year gap between our youngest and the next one. However, i don't remember feeling so broody so quickly after my first as i do this time and I wonder if we should try sooner.

I'm only 25 so age is not an issue, nor is money or space it's just purely down to what age gap would work best. Even if we did try TTC again sooner it wouldn't be until the end of the summer as i'd want to prepare my body for another pregnancy which would make our youngest over 2 by then anyway, it's just a year sooner than we originally planned.

What do you ladies think? Those with 3 or more what are your age gaps and would you recommend them? Also does this broodiness ever stop because at this rate i can see myself with 15 kids by the time i'm 40! :lol:

Claire x


  • My eldest is 5, Theo is 6 months and I'm 20+5 weeks with my third. Personally I find the gap between abby and Theo has its advantages and disadvantages but on the whole I find the gap too big. Abby can help out by getting a nappy etc but the gap between them is just too big for them to really appreciate each other. Theo loves watching Abby play but to her he's just an annoyance! She loves him, but would quite like to have me to herself again.
    But then again this one wasnt planned and I was really shocked to find out I was expecting again so soon and I'm really scared about managing an 11 month age gap but I know alot of people who have done it and said it wasnt nearly as hard as they expected it to be.
  • I'm not sure about advantages of having a big age gap, but I have 12 months in between my 2 and I love it. They're so close and love each other's company. Its really enjoyable, and not hard work in the slighest. I love it!

    Incidently my mum has a 12 year gap between me and my brother, and he loves having an older sis, and I love having a little bro. Mum doesnt really like that much of a gap,

    Everyone who I know who does have their LO's close together do not regret it.

  • hi there ....my eldest jack is 2 and a half and sophia is 3 weeks ...i would of had a smaller age gap if oh would have agreed but he wanted at least 2 and a half years ...men!! lol ...i think like carly said its nice to have a bigger gap as they can help but to me its important for my kids to love and appreciate each other ...i want them to be friends and play together ..even if they argue :lol: im hoping 2 and a half years is perfect but we will see image ...oh and we wont be going for number 3 :lol: xxxxxxxx
  • Us neither Lisa!



  • There are advantages/disadvantages to both though..... not sure I'd like 2 in nappies but then a toddler pushing a baby around and jealousy around the newborn....?

    The jury is still out here, not sure which is the better of the 2 evils
  • I agree- there are pros and cons for both. For me, if we do decide to have another it won't be until Poppy is at least 3 as I don't know how on earth I could afford to have 2 in child care ( and I must work!) and I'd want to be able to spend the same amount of time with the new baby that I have with Poppy and I don't see how I could do that if they were close in age.
    It's definately each to their own on this though as everyone is different.x
  • Hi ladies,

    Thank you very much for all your replies. Much appreciated.

    I suppose we're very fortunate in that although I have to work (mortgage etc) we can get by with me only doing 2 days & DH's work are very good in that they let him do his full time hours in 4 days which means he's at home with the girls the days that i work and we still get a family day at the weekend as well. Therefore childcare is not an issue for us.

    I'm still not sure what we're going to do. The 3 year gap was good in that Abigail goes to pre-school 4 mornings a week so i get some one on one time with Olivia but at the same time, Abigail took it harder than i thought when Olivia came along. She was very excited during my pregnancy but in the hospital she had an accident in her pants (which she'd never done before) and it broke my heart. If i left a smaller gap this time perhaps Olivia would be too young to understand but at the same time I always wanted some one on one time with Olivia whilst Abigail was at school.

    Oh i'm sorry i'm rambling now. I'll sit down with DH and see what he thinks.

    Thanks again ladies.

    Good luck with those TTC! xxx
  • I have a 12 year age gap between my two and its great. Dd (12) absolutley dotes on Nathan (9mhs) and is old enough to watch him while I go to the loo/make tea etc. They have a great relationship already - he gets really excited when she gets home from school and she plays with him brilliantly.

    I cant see me having another 12 yr gap (I'd be 42 with next one which feels a bit too old lol) but am unlikely to have another within the next few years as we just cant afford to (not sure i want anymore either). I think 6 years is the biggest gap I'm likely to have but I dont think it matters hugely anyway as different things work for different people.

  • Hi Claire!

    Let us know what hubby thinks is best. Will be interesting to hear a man's view on things.

    I've got everything planned in my little mind and sometimes forget that hubby has a say too! Lol!

    As you know Ruby turns one next week and in a perfect world i'd love to fall pregnant over Christmas, then Ruby would be 2 and a half by time baby number two arrives. I really don't want anymore of a gap than that, and don't really want any less of a gap either. So that is the perfect gap for me. Ruby will be out of nappies and old enough to be interested but hopefully not old enough to be jealous???

    I think 2 and a half year gap will be best for me too, which is just as important as for the kiddies. I feel that my body would have recovered completely but I wont be so out of touch with the whole baby thing.

    It will be nice for them to grow up doing things together. I have friends with a 4/5 year gap and they are forever doing seperate things to entertain their children, where as with 2 years they should both appreciate the same things, within reason, as they grow up.

    Will speak to hubby about it when he's back in May. His thinking is that we've got all the time in the world so why rush! Lol! That's his view on everything. It's hardly rushing though and I would like to go back to my career at some point but that gets put on the back burner when you're married to a soldier and have babies! xx
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