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Dare we discuss the 13yr old father? No arguments ladies!!

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  • i agree totally with the above post - it is the responsibility of parents as well as school - but i do think it is wrong that it is the only part of the curriculum that as a parent you can opt your child out of!

    it is probably the only thing in life your child needs to know about -as as much as we dont want to think it of our lo's, we were all in that situation once! (if you know what i mean!!)

    our school (local council / LEA) has a "Life Bus" that visits each school, and addresses all sorts of topics that affect "life" - including drugs etc!!( i have to be honest, i was quite alarmed that my 4yr old was getting a drugs lesson, but on asking, for his age, it was drugs we all have at home (ie paracetamol etc), and never taking tablets if you find them etc etc.) i believe in yr 6, it does talk more about cannabis etc - drugs they will likely meet with at upper school, and more about relationships to coincide with the sex ed area they are doing at the time in class.

    we can only warn and educate them......
  • I think it is horiffic that it has been aloowed to happen. My friends 8 year old nephew not only looks older but seems more mature than the interview given by this 13 year old. When asked how he would provide for the baby he said his dad sometimes gave him ??10 but not all the time...I can't go into a Boots without spending less than ??10 on things for Ellie & I get her milk on prescription so that's just a tiny portion of how much babies cost!

    The baby I really feel sorry for, there are times when I get stressed and resentful of all that I can't do and i'm 22 but for christ sake these 2 are kids!! How the hell are they going to cope with the night feeds and constant nappy changes not to mention the crying and potential colic and other problems little ones have.

    I think it's horrendous and i'm sorry but I know people can't be forced into having an abortion but they should've taken that child off her the minute she was born instead of letting her sell stories to the paper about how young the baby's father is. If she was wanting to show any sort of responsibility as a mother then she'd of taken her baby home and got on with caring for her instead of dressing her up and posing for pictures for journalists.

    It makes me so angry to think that this has been allowed to happen in this day and age but yes I do think for some sick reason it is more socially acceptable. I wish with all my heart that children are more educated and know the true ins and outs of the difficulties, stresses and expenses of having a baby and then they might actually value the importance of using contraception especially when it is free!!!

    I, as many of you are, am so angered by this subject and could rant on for hours but i think i'll stop now! xxx
  • I feel so sad hearing this story...

    & wonder if she was sleeping around - WHY? This problem runs so much deeper than just having a baby born! I'm not saying that it's the best thing to do having a baby so young, but our bodies are physically ready - hence how it can happen.

    Then thing I would be looking at is WHY are they having sex so young with lots of partners?

    I worked with a 13 year old girl who had slept around a lot - When I spoke to her about it in more depth - her answer to me was, 'I know it's not real love, but for the half hour that they are with me, holding me, I can pretend.

    Many young people don't even know that you can have a loving relationship without having sex - actually many adults don't know that either! How many of us know of a friend or a friend of a friend who will shag a bloke to try and keep him?

    I don't believe telling a young person not to do it is going to work, neither is removing contraption (imo) but delay is the way forward! You're not telling them to say NO you're just getting them to say not yet! Telling young people sex is bad, I don't believe is healthy either - I think we should be raising the bar for young people! Telling them sex is FANTASIC but ONLY when you are ready for it! When you are in a loving respectful relationship - having sex with a person you hardly know semi pissed on a stair well in some bloke of flats is not going to make you feel good! That they should EXPECT more for themselves!

    That, until you show respect for yourself by saying that your worth more than giving yourself to everyone, it's never going to be pleasurable because there is no value in it!
    How many of our young people have actually had good examples of healthy adult relationships? Where are they learning this behaviour from?

    1/4 women have been raped, who knows what goes on with children - you know if somebody has been sexually abused often they will sleep around to make what happened normal (not in all cases but in some!)

    Who is actually telling these kids a BETTER way to be doing it? I always tell the kids I work with that a baby is the nicest that you can catch from sex. What about STD's? Or getting both of you checked out before having sex? What about enjoying each other before you bring a baby into the middle of it... We all love our babies dearly so can't blame them for wanting that love, but how about explaining more objectively about what having a child entails rather than all negative and saying that of course you can have all this but how about waiting till you've had some fun & freedom yourself? That once you've had a baby that's it you're a mother/father for life!
    How about teaching young men about responsibility equally as much as girls!? Talk about what is it they would want for their children and how would they achieve that? BEFORE the child exists!
    I don't believe taking a child away from a mother just because she is young is the answer! Girls have been getting pregnant for so many years when they shouldn't have there a baby taken off them and it's never prevented it happening! What a painful thing to happen to somebody!

    I do think children have sex thrust at them at lot more than years ago and my appear to know more - but I've actually run workshops with young people about sexual health and emotions of sex and yes they all know the terms of sex which makes them appear to know a lot but actually when you get into the nitty gritty of it all many of them know less than we properly did at that age - and that for me is saying something!
    this is just my opinion of course! x
  • I was also appalled at the story, especially regarding the number of "would be" fathers who are now putting their hands up for a bit of fame as well.

    I have not heard a single report mentioning the numerous sexually transmitted diseases she may have caught (and also be sharing) to go along with the fact that adequate protection was not used.

    Shell
  • Soo interesting reading everyone's responses. On GMTV this morning two girls were saying how theybdthe fact their school's sex educ was poor for them getting pregnant!! I think we live in such a blame culture society that noone takes responsibility for their actions and there seems to be no consequence either. Years ago that girl (and boy as it takes 2 so to speak) would have been in disgrace.Now nobody blinks an eye. I find it very hard to believe that teenagers don't realise that having sex could lead to pregnancy. I certainy know that in primary and secondary school they have LOTS of sex ed. I think that the problem is self wort and aspirations. If you come fom a family where neither parents work or have ever worked and mom keeps on having babies with several men and appears to manage financially then why would you think that getting pregnant before the age of 16 would be a great shame. Hmm I sound a bit Victorian now so will stop!!
    I don't thinkbaby should be taken away at all, perhaps an abortion woud have been wiser but we have to respect a woman's right. Hopefully they will surpris us by both staying together, carrying on their education, both becoming working and paying members of society, don't have a litter of children and the litle girl grows up ignorant of the meia frenzy surrounding her. Well we can hope!!
  • Sorry to be a pessimist but I doubt that'll happen just married!!
    They'll end up separated and both have more kids for other people to support! I hope I'm wrong but I doubt it!
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