Feeling Guilty.

Replies

• sally322

  Oct 31, 2008 4:55AM

  glad to know im not the only one feeling this way, i was due to go back to work in feb but bought it forward to january, feel like i need an identity back. lo will be 28 weeks when i return to work. oh thinks i am going back early for financial reasons, which i partly am, but really looking forward to time away from lo. im hoping that i will enjoy my time off with lo more once im back to work. oh does what he can, but sleeps really deeply, and will only do nighttime stuff if i wake him up and ask him, a bit pointless if im already awake. and in the day time i have to ask him to do stuff. or make myself busy so he has to get on with it. will be interesting when i go back to work as oh will have him all day at weekends, im sure he doesnt realise just how knackering looking after a baby can be.

  0
• ollier2001

  Oct 31, 2008 5:12AM

  oh girls, dont ever feel guilty!!
  
  having a baby is bloody hard work, and if honest, i find i appreciate my 3 far more when back at work, as i want to see them, play with them instead of shout at them cos they playing up / fighting etc (isobel doesnt fight yet, but i'm sure that will come!!).
  
  the only time i ever felt guilty was after my first, i did a night shift of which a poor lady had the baby who played up for her for hours, and wouldnt settle for her. i took him off with me, wrapped him up, snuggled him and got the little rascal to sleep. the poor mum was eternally greatful for a couple of hours, but i felt sad that it wasnt my lo i was cuddling!
  
  now, i'm 3 kids down the line, love my job, and feel that the 2 days away i get are "Me" time, where i can go to the loo in peace, without a small army shouting mum whenever i go! (not that i get much time to wee at work either!!)
  
  you'll more than not find that when you do have your lo when not at work, it will be much easier to look after them without resenting them the same, which will make you happier too!
  
  as for your OH - dont worry, he really is quite normal!! that is a bloke thing, where they cant do anything WITHOUT ASKING YOU FIRST!
  get him to bath your lo when he comes home, and give the last bottle, whilst you sort tea etc!
  
  you're a good mum, dont ever feel guilty! )

  0
• LittleChickpea

  Oct 31, 2008 5:12AM

  You mustn't feel guilty hunnie, It is such a big change for someone to suddenly have created a little life which depends solely on you and oh. It changes your life completely and emotions run high the whole time as you spend each and every day with just one priority , and that is to nurture and care for LO........ all day & all night!!!!! It is nateral for you to want space from it all, especially if you are the main carer and tend to almost lo every need.... You are still a women, not just a 'mummy' You are a women Just like all the others you need to be free occasionally, be socialble, relax and spread your wings abit! Please dont get down, look forward to work & the course ... If your happy then LO happy!!!! best of luck babes xxxxxxxxx

  0
• gsmummy55

  Oct 31, 2008 6:44AM

  God don't feel guilty!
  Gabe is so good but sometimes he does my nut in and I just cant be bothered to play with him. I am often waiting for his bedtime too...
  I'm dead on my feet as well as since we got back from Malta he is not sleeping anywhere near as well. The clocks going back hasnt helped. If another person says "oh I loved my extra hour in bed" they will die a very long & painful death :x because I have been getting up to him at 5 every day for the last week gah.
  It really annoys me as everyone else likes my oh and my mil get all the lovely playtimes and cuddles with Gabe but I miss out on that somewhat as Im constantly thinking of the next feed/bath/change etc.
  I had Gabe at 19 and am not the kind of stereotype Vicky Pollard young mum to palm her kids off on everyone - but you know what - I WISH I WAS! Cos then I could escape the guilt- why did no one warn me about that? lol
  Enjoy going back to work hun, hopefully you will feel a little bit better once your back.
  I wish i was going away. Preferably for an alcohol fuelled dirty weekend. But a work course would do!!
  xxx
  

  0
• linzimc88

  Oct 31, 2008 6:59AM

  morning sweety, plz don't feel guilty at all! i think there are times when every mummy feels exactly the same, and kids can be so hard to entertain and with them being so small there is only so much you can do with them, which can make the days seem so long. I promise it gets easier as they are able to do more and have adjusted to a more consistent routine.
  
  As for going back to work, good on you! and good on you for looking forward to it as well. You are a mummy, but you are still an individual and need to do things for yourself to give you a break and a sense of identity. I was originally planning on taking 9months mat leave, but after 5months begged work to have me back sooner as i was climbing the walls being stuck in the house changing nappies all day!
  
  It's the best thing ive ever done and i work 4hours - 5days a week, so still get to spend half a day with evie which is so much easier, and for the days off i have i plan something nice like a trip to soft play or to meet up with playgroup friends and i really look forward to our quality time now!
  
  Give your OH a massive kick up the backside from me! lol. seriously though honey, dont feel bad XX

  0
• MumDonna

  Oct 31, 2008 9:43AM

  Thanks ladies, I'm feeling much much better now. Its always good to know that others understand how you feel as it stops you feeling so lonley within it.
  Oh has been quite sweet and changed his plans so that he can spend the whole afternoon with us before going out. That way I should be able to stay out until nearer nathan going to bed. Its amazing how long days can feel when your watching the clock the whole time!
  Hope you all have a lovely Halloween!!
  xx
  

  0
• LittleChickpea

  Oct 31, 2008 9:48AM

  Glad your happier hun! Afterall its FRIDAY!!! WHOOOOPIE!!!! YAY!!!
  OK I will calm down now... phew xx
  Have a lovely halloween too xxxx

  0
• MumDonna

  Oct 31, 2008 9:55AM

  I'll be working 3 (sometimes 4) days a week and am also looking forward to enjoying the days I do get with him, especially the ones where its just me and him (I hadnt realised this until just now though). I will make the effort to take him swimming and to crazy tots etc as I havent done much with the time I've had off.
  I cant wait until the spring to take him to the farm!

  0
• MumDonna

  Oct 31, 2008 10:13AM

  My eldest is staying at at friends so its just me and Lo. I'm really looking forward to being able to BE without oh and eldest taking the mickey (eldest especially as I wont let her go on chat rooms - i always say that she might end up chatting o a dirty man in a string vest, now she says thats what all of you ladies really are!)
  I wasnt going to have any wine as I'm on a last push before starting work to tone up but I might buy one of those half bottles to enjoy!
  xx

  0