🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
I am officially the worst mum here. :cry:
Some of you might already know, but my baby girl is not so good. ![:\](https://forum.madeformums.com/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
(
on tues Ollie bumped her on her head (quite hard) when i had my back turned for a minute... she was fine, we kept an eye on her and nothing was wrong, she was even at the gps on thurs morning and i got him to check and nothing was wrong, but friday the bump started to swell up. By 5pm we were v worried, couldnt get into the gps so went straight to a & e from picking Ollie up.
after waiting for 2 hours in there i managed to collar a doc and asked her what the chances of being seen were, as they had already treated 3 people who had nothing but limps (were otherwise ok!) :evil:
she saw us straight away and then sent us to the childrens ward. We saw a lovely male nurse on there (we've gotten to know him quite well through Ollie being in there last year and then for his op this year too!) and he said I'll tell you now she'll be staying in for the night.
So we made arrangements and got my dad up to watch Ollie for us, and I stayed overnight with her. They did her obs every hour, so they must have been worried. She did look like she had a second head growing, and she was crying and clingy and obv in pain. I felt (and still feel) awful! My poor baby girl has been hurt.
The paediatrician saw us at 9am Sat morning, checked her over and said as her obs had been ok he thought it was safe enough to allow us to take her home. He explained that he thinks she has a small hairline fracture, but that he couldnt xray her because he thought the trauma of trying to get her to stay still long enough for one would be worse than just allowing it to heal in its own time.
He also explained that he had a legal obligation to report the accident, and to have a HV come and check the house and us out initially, and depending on what they see/say possibly even CS or SS.
(he was also very snotty about the fact that MJ is on 3 meals a day, even though we told him it was under HV supervision and she is over 6 months...)
I feel like shit. How could I let this happen to my baby girl? I find myself crying when i get her settled for a nap (she's having about 5 or 6 a day at the moment) because I cant believe I let this happen.
We've got loads of different things for her to take atm, at different times of the day.
Since coming home too, she wont sleep in the crib next to our bed - she slept in a cot atb hospital, and she wouldnt settle in the crib last night, but settled so well in the cot in Ollie's room (I guess now the 'kids' room) so it feels twice as bad as she's going to be sleeping there from now on and I cant just roll over and see her lil face asleep, or stroke her cheek... she's not my little baby anymore, she's growing up.
I'm dreading the HV visit, I have no idea what they'll say.(
So, I am officially the worst mummy here - I let my baby girl get hurt very badly and I'm gonna regret leaving them alone together, and certainly will not be doing that again until they're about 20!
On a completely different note, OH has started digging the footings out and were almost halfway there with them.
xxx
(oh and I'm guessing one worm will crawl out of the woodwork so please just ignore it if it does. Thanks)
( on tues Ollie bumped her on her head (quite hard) when i had my back turned for a minute... she was fine, we kept an eye on her and nothing was wrong, she was even at the gps on thurs morning and i got him to check and nothing was wrong, but friday the bump started to swell up. By 5pm we were v worried, couldnt get into the gps so went straight to a & e from picking Ollie up.
after waiting for 2 hours in there i managed to collar a doc and asked her what the chances of being seen were, as they had already treated 3 people who had nothing but limps (were otherwise ok!) :evil:
she saw us straight away and then sent us to the childrens ward. We saw a lovely male nurse on there (we've gotten to know him quite well through Ollie being in there last year and then for his op this year too!) and he said I'll tell you now she'll be staying in for the night.
So we made arrangements and got my dad up to watch Ollie for us, and I stayed overnight with her. They did her obs every hour, so they must have been worried. She did look like she had a second head growing, and she was crying and clingy and obv in pain. I felt (and still feel) awful! My poor baby girl has been hurt.
The paediatrician saw us at 9am Sat morning, checked her over and said as her obs had been ok he thought it was safe enough to allow us to take her home. He explained that he thinks she has a small hairline fracture, but that he couldnt xray her because he thought the trauma of trying to get her to stay still long enough for one would be worse than just allowing it to heal in its own time.
He also explained that he had a legal obligation to report the accident, and to have a HV come and check the house and us out initially, and depending on what they see/say possibly even CS or SS.
(he was also very snotty about the fact that MJ is on 3 meals a day, even though we told him it was under HV supervision and she is over 6 months...)
I feel like shit. How could I let this happen to my baby girl? I find myself crying when i get her settled for a nap (she's having about 5 or 6 a day at the moment) because I cant believe I let this happen.
We've got loads of different things for her to take atm, at different times of the day.
Since coming home too, she wont sleep in the crib next to our bed - she slept in a cot atb hospital, and she wouldnt settle in the crib last night, but settled so well in the cot in Ollie's room (I guess now the 'kids' room) so it feels twice as bad as she's going to be sleeping there from now on and I cant just roll over and see her lil face asleep, or stroke her cheek... she's not my little baby anymore, she's growing up.
I'm dreading the HV visit, I have no idea what they'll say.
( So, I am officially the worst mummy here - I let my baby girl get hurt very badly and I'm gonna regret leaving them alone together, and certainly will not be doing that again until they're about 20!
On a completely different note, OH has started digging the footings out and were almost halfway there with them.
xxx
(oh and I'm guessing one worm will crawl out of the woodwork so please just ignore it if it does. Thanks)
0
Replies
I know how you feel about her growing up, I was in bits when we put Barney in his room, oh thought I was mad but I used to like being able to watch him sleep, they grow up so quickly.
Big hugs hun, and there will be no worms because I have put down worm killer
xx
So,as hard at it sounds,try not to blame yourself,these things really do happen as part and parcel of motherhood! Hope she feels better soon
Kay.Jake and Ethan 9+2 xx
Sweetheart you are NOT a bad mother at all. If you were you wouldn't have taken her to be checked out now would you?
Can I just reassure you that swelling is good as it means the bump has come out rather than pressing into the brain
It is common practice especially with head injuries for visits but that's just because of recent child abuse cases - professionals are terrified of missing something. Please don't worry - chances are when it's reported the HV won't even visit if she's been seeing you regularly.
Children have accidents all the time and just sometimes they do get caught in the 'wrong' place like now and you have done the right thing by taking her to hospital. Why don't you see if you can get onto a basic first aid course so you feel confident that you could deal with any future incidents? Might make you feel you're doing something positive...
Keep talking hun and don't bottle it up
XX
You knew something wasn't right which makes you a very good mum. And if you were a bad mum why are you so worried about your little girl!!?? BECAUSE YOU ARE A GOOD MUM!!!
I think you get the message!
I really hope your lo gets better very soon, and try not to worry about any visits from SS. As a good mum you will know they have to do this (and if they didn't want to know you know that would be wrong don't you).
And if any worms appear I'll stamp on them xx
((((((BIG hugs))))) xx
It was an accident and whether that had been a small cut on the finger or a nasty break - it would still be an accident.
Please stop beating yourself up - your little girl will be fine.
Hugs to you MS x x x
Just wanted to pop you a quick message in passing. Havent had time to read your replies, but wanted to say - accidents happen xx You are a great Mummy... the HV will see that!! I think its natural to feel the way you do though, because she is your precious girl. Your children are very much loved.
Take care of yourself.
Rachel
xx
[Modified by: MyGirlandI on September 27, 2009 10:14 PM]
If you were a bad mummy you wouldn't have got her checked out, you asked your GP the next day for gods sake - if he didn't know something was wrong how could you!?
Just give MJ loads of hugs and snuggles, and I am sure she will be back to her smiley self in no time. It's just a shame you have already demolished the sheds - I am guessing taking a sledge hammer to them would be excellent therapy right now!!
Nx
STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP OVER IT!
Hugs,
Xx
claire and lola-mae x
HUGS!!! To you all
Hugs sweet.
xxx
huge hugs
xxx
Will the cot fit in your bedroom? I'm sure she's fine in the other room, and loving the extra space in the cot, but it might make you feel better at the mo if you could see her - although If you're anyhting like me you'll be up and down all nigth anyway!
Hope MJ feels a bit better soon, the hospital are obviously happy enough to let her home, so the best medicine is probably lots of cuddles.
Big hugs to you xx
The reporting is just a formality - they will soon know it wasn't your fault!
Keep being the great mummy that you are.
Big hugs
xxx
She's a beautiful little girl with a mummy, daddy and big brother that love her very much. Hope she's feeling a bit better.
Try not to worry about HV, easy for me to say I'm sure, but nontheless you've done nothing wrong so try not to worry. S x
She was a bit unsettled last night, woke a few times crying so I ended up in their room most of the night, and she woke up at 6am anyway. (Ollie thought it was great when he woke up and saw me there, so possibly caused problems for later but had to be with MJ, I couldnt sleep)
The cot wont fit into our room unfortunately - but i did ask OH about having it in there and we tried, but with everything else there at the moment it just wont fit. I've still been putting her in the crib for naps as Ollie fights his nap most days and would wake her up so thought for now best to keep them separate... plus i get to lie on the bed and watch her sleep
OH thinks I'm loopy to want her in with me still, but its like i said to him, if she's in her big cot in her own room it means she's no longer my 'baby' baby, and that's gutting coz she's the last!
Am thinking about going to clinic today (was told last week not to bother going each week but leave it 2 or 3 weeks between weighs) just so I can speak to the HV and pre-empt the letter, but I'm not sure how that will look....? I do also have a quick qu about her weaning and stuff but I honestly dont know if it would look weird... I am not surprised they are having to visit, we both thought they would as soon as we set off to a and e. Its just reality and it bites.
Ollie has been a pain all morning, v jealous of MJ, but he didnt see much of me on Saturdayand had his dad here sunday so didnt really need me for attention, ut now im on my own with them he wants me all the time... I'm too scared to leave them alone together at the moment, even though i know she;s safe I cant help but think well Ollie might do this, or that... I'll just take her with me...
Sara - I hope all your visits go well and they can see that you're a good mum!
xxx