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Is it normal to feel like this?

Hello everyone - my first post in Baby since Chloe was born on 23rd December.

I love her so much and she is perfect in every way. However, I am struggling to get out of my head that something bad is going to happen (and tbh I was like this throughout the pregnancy).

I keep thinking that some harm will come to her. When she is sick from her milk, I am convinved that it was contaminiated and has harmed her. When she's asleep I worry she won't wake. When she's not asleep I worry why she won't sleep!! I could go on but I'm sure you get the message.

She wouldn't latch on to my boob and I have flat nipples so after endless trying we had to move to formula because she was sooo hungry. I feel a failure for not being able to BF and worry ppl will think I didn't try ahrd enough.

Did anyone else go through these thoughts and feelings, and if so, what did you do to overcome them and is there anything I can do to stop them? :\?

Thanks in advance

Rach and Chloe 8 days old
xx

Replies

  • its very normal honey, and actually quite necessary! Babies completely depend on their parents in their first few months, they are almost still a part of your body and wouldnt function without you, just as your lungs or heart wouldnt function on their own. You NEED to feel like this so that you are able to respond in the very best way to your baby. Don't try and stop feeling like this, i think it would be quite a strange feeling to feel not anxious about such a precious little bundle. As she gets older, you will feel more settled, but you will always worry about her even when shes grown up and has her own little bundle!

    As for the breast feeding, its a terribly emotive thing and there is alot of pressure put on women to solely breatfeed. You are doing the best thing for your baby, but its natural to feel horrible about it. Think about the alternative, a hungry sad baby, who struggles to get enough milk from you to thrive - not good! Unfortunatly you may meet people who are critical of you, but you need to hold on to knowing that you are doing the best thing for your baby.

    Take care, accept support from people, and enjoy your little girl.

    Em x
  • Congratulations! Definitely normal for how young she is! It will get better once you get more settled and into the swing of things!

    Re the bfing - you have done the right thing so don't beat yourself up! I persevered for 3 weeks of my dd feeding 12 hours a day non stop, then I decided enough was enough and bought a carton of formula - of which she had 7oz straight off! I then felt bad as she was obviously starving - poor mite! I mixed fed untill 11 weeks when I couldn't get anymore out and then solely FF. It was the best thing I ever did switching to formula as she was well fed and I was so much less stressed! I wish I had done it sooner instead of worrying what people would think!

    It sounds like you are doing a grand job!
  • it's really normall to feel worried but it will settle down, as for bf'ing i had the same problem flat nipples, taking hours to latch on even with help, screaming for milk, pippa was also jaundiced so really sleepy as well, she'd feed for 6 hours straight. In the five days i breastfed pippa i had under 5 hours sleep. I felt guilty for ages about giving up bf'ing but dh thought i was cracking up and went and bought some formula and she slept for 3 hours straight. Looking at her now as a happy healthy nine month old i know we made the right choice to stop, don't let anyone make you feel guilty about stopping your doing the best for you and your baby, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
    Huge congratulation on her birth and welcome to baby, hope your feeling better soon, but it wil pass
    xxx
  • 100 per cent normal! I was a basket case, particularly around the 3-4 week mark. I phoned a hv for advice and had a list of 6 unrelated worries! Just like you when she slept and worried when she was awake I worried too! All I can say is it def gets better with time. You just begin to trust your own judgement more and the ol' hormones settle down too, I was pretty hormonal for an entire month afterwards, everyone is different. Congrats and good luck x
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