anyone else not done the deed by 5m?

am I alone? ds2 is just 5m and hubby and I have not even come close to any bedroom activity. I have a long line of excuses, I'm tired, ds2 is in our room, he may wake up, I'm not taking any contraception, I'm scared, I don't want to etc etc etc.

However I think I may have a problem. I feel fine 'down there' now and I know sex after a baby is ok as I've done it before. But I have no sex drive and am exhausted. I'm wondering if it is something I should talk to my HV about, could it be linked with my pnd? It's not fair on hubby anymore. I even have packs of minipills and have not started to take them. I am awful to him.

I think I need help! :


  • I think maybe your PND will definitley have an impact on your desire for sex.
    I have to admit i don't have much of a sex drive anymore, however, i will simply for the intimacy with OH and i find that once we get going i do enjoy it.
    Maybe you need to have a good chat with OH and your HV or GP and see if you can sort it out. Don't feel guilty or sorry for your OH, it is not your fault that you feel the way you do.....i never would have believed the way pregnancy, birth and the aftermath have changed me.

    I hope you feel better soon

  • I'm the same, LO is 3 months and we haven't 'done the deed' since I was about 5 weeks pregnant - so coming up to a year now!! I had bleeding early on in pregnancy and was told not to until I was 20wks . That made us paranoid and I guess we just got out of the habit - sad, but true.

    With LO now sleeping in our room, DH working until 11pm and me not being really bothered, I can't see it happening any time soon - but it doesn't really bother me and I don't think DH is gagging for it either.

  • Hello there, just wanted to say that I didn't 'do the deed' until 5 months after. At first I just wasn't physically ready, then I was too tired, after that there was the still sleeping with LO thing and then there was the sheer fear factor! I think that the longer you leave it, the more stressful it becomes, I was so scared that it would just feel different, if you know what I mean. I had a couple of glasses of wine and just went for ot the first time, and after that everything was fine.

    I just wanted to say that it can be 100% normal and I know of people who have waited a year. Giving birth is the single most wonderful and traumatic thing that our bodies will ever go through, so don't put any unnecesary presure on yourself. However if it helps you to talk to your HV go for it! Talk talk talk, don't keep anything bottled up x
  • Hiya. My LO is 7 months old and we havent done it either. I feel exactly the same as you, I think I have lost my sex drive!! Im also tired and just want my bed at the end of a day! Try not to stress about it and just do it when you feel ready. Thats what I plan to do. Probably when I want another baby!! Take care xx
  • My lo is almost 5 months and we havent wither. I had a lot of problems with episotomy and I am just so tired that as soon as I get to bed im asleep anyway :lol: hubby is really good about it and knows that I am just not ready yet, so instead he is taking out his frustration on call of duty :lol:
  • We didn't from when I was about 16 wks preg till lo was at least 10 months. I too totally lost my drive and had to make myself do the deed in the end!

    Try not to stress!!!
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