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Feeling Guilty.

Today I feel so guilty. My baby is 4 weeks old and while carrying him thru a room I banged his head on the door frame. He cried for 1 second then stopped, he is fine but I completly broke down crying and have been virtually all day. I have been coping so well so far & love him more than anything but today I'm not coping, I feel like the worst mum ever! I was stressed anyway cos today he won't stop being sick and washed changed 2 tops and loads of bibs and muslins...I no its not his fault but the mess stresses me out. I said to my oh "I'm so stressed, I can't do anything right, I hate him". Im welling up now cos I didn't mean it. Of course I don't hate my lo. But I said I did and I feel so bad. I havent stopped crying all day. I dont think I have PND as up till now I been fine and even relished spending time with him during the sleepless nights.....am I just having a bad day??

Replies

  • I did EXACTLY the same thing with my lo banging his head on the door and felt awful about it too but accidents happen and as long as they are ok then try not to dwell on it too much. I totally understand about the vomit too as lo is a VERY sicky baby he has reflux and is sick all the time but it had been a lot better until the last few days and it is suddenly worse again - the 2 of us never finish the day in the same clothes we start it in in fact if we each only have to change once it is a major achievement and like you say the washing is HORRENDOUS and never ending and REALLY gets me down. I swear like a trouper every time it happens and then feel bad for getting cross in front of lo when he is not intentionally being sick! But lack of sleep is a killer (I can now totally understand why it is used as a method of torture as I would give up any state secret if it meant I could sleep!!!)

    Like the others said it is just a one off bad day and I am sure you will feel more positive again tomorrow - you are doing a FANTASTIC job and don't you forget it!!!!!!
  • Thank you....good to know it does get better. I think today must've been building up as I've been fine apart from this. My baby is a good sleeper really but yesterday & today he has been very whingy and sickie. I think he's sick more today because his nose seems a bit bunged up which prob doesnt help but I dont think he's ill as he's sleeping and feeding fine....I think its just feeling I'm not doing good enough, yesterday waiting for him to be weighed he was screaming & i felt sooo bad
  • hi tiger lily,
    im also having a really bad day with summer she has been awake since 5am and she will not settle at all she has been a bit sickie as well after feeding and when she does this she will want more feeds im shattered and kirk doesnt help me at all arghhhhhh
    this motherhood is really hard!!!
  • Aw hunny..it just sounds like you are having a bad day..thats all. Lack of sleep and not even having 2 minutes to yourself can make you feel bad and make you say things you don't mean in the heat of the moment

    you definately aren't the only mummy to accidently bump your lo... I dropped Cole on his head when he was about 10 weeks old..he cried for 5 minutes... I cried for more like 5 hours!!

    Big hugs...hope you are feeling better soon

    xx
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