Defiance!!

As most of you know harrison is nearly 13 months and i have been worrying about his behavior.
we have come to the conclusion that we must be firm but fair and instil dicipline, but we are having a problem with his defiance. It doesnt matter how many time we tell him not to do something, he does it over and over again and just laughs at us. I didnt think defiance would set in so early on. Is annyone else experiecing this? or am i totally alone!
I always feel like i am the only one struggling with a toddler. Even at toddler club harri is the most "active" and all teh mums give me "that look" as if im not doing things right, although i try to control him. He isnt a monster but is very strong willed and interested in EVERYTHING!! I feel like no ones child is as hard work as mine and begining to feel very alone! image x

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  • Charlotte is starting to be a little like this. I think it's just part of growing up and them learning their bounderies. I know how frustrating it can be though. Like you said I'm firm but fair, trying to start a bit of discipline - start as I mean to go on lol!
  • Justin was really bad for it when he was little and even now.
    But now a days when he gets like this i just pull the power supply to his imac of take his camcorder away from him and he soon starts to behave lol
  • hey hon, i so understand what u are going through...i have an extremely strong-willed defiant child who is now nearly 6 yrs old and although she's lovely and bright, she has caused me no end of heartache trying to figure out how to get her to listen. u are not alone, please dnt let other mums make u feel bad x
    it may not work with your lo but with Madi, i have always found moving her away without saying a word and then totally ignoring her for a bit works...do u have a naughty step or time-out area? if he does or touches something he shouldnt, u could try wordlessly removing him to the naughty area (corners or steps when u are out work just as well) and leave him 1 minute. if he gets up, simply return him to where he should be...the important thing is to not react as negative attention is just as good to a child as positive attention so u have to be completely unavailable for comment so to speak. it takes time but this approach does work in the end, eventually just saying naughty step to him will stop him in his tracks.
    best of luck with it, u will get there honey and every parent goes through some form of challlenges so even smug mums at toddler group have their troubles! xxxxx
  • My eldest is really strong willed and I know exactly how you're feeling!!! I found that it was all about consistency for us. We used the time out chair when he was Harri's age, moving onto the naughty spot when he grew old enough to understand. I used to tell him what I expected when we went out (I know that sounds daft at 13 months but he'll get used to it and we just kept it simple like share, be nice, don't snatch) and always picked and showed him somewhere that would be his time out area wherever we were. It worked a treat, toddler groups went from being a torture session to something that we really enjoyed and all the other mums commented on the improvement in his behaviour. He's now 3 and a half and at the stage where he thinks it's clever to repeat everything you say to him in a really silly voice, especially when you're telling him off-infuriating but it soooo makes me giggle and the lil sod knows it!!!!:roll:
  • Oh you aren't the only one! Cole does things he s houldn't and laughs at us but I don't think its defiance - its just that he hasn't learned right from wrong yet. I think at this age they are getting more aware of whats going on and more able to do stuff and being curious but they don't have the understanding yet to not do stupid/dangerous

    The amount of times I put him back on his bum to sit down while he drinks is ridiculous but eventually he'll learn I hope that he isn't wandering round with the cup hanging out of his mouth! lol!

    Ignore the other mums looks - there is nothing wrong with an active child and i'm sure most of what he's doing isn't that bad and i doubt he's being deliberately naughty although i bet he's as much a monkey as cole. I was getting the disapproving looks from my friend at the weekend as we were at a story and dance thing at the library and she was shocked cole wasn't sitting quietly on my knee - he kept getting up and wandering a little further away but coming back - he was just testing his boundries but also being a monkey cause when i called him he'd stop and grin and go no further but not come back straight away.

    I think firm and consistent is the way to go at the moment - we just tell cole no and remove whatever he's not meant to be doing - or if he's being a monkey due to boredom like at the library we just have to accept that he's only little and take him out of the situation.

    Hope he gets the hang of behaving soon
    xx
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