Leaving baby with relatives??
Sep 8, 2010 3:31PM
At what age did you start leaving little one with relatives? My little girl is 9 weeks old and I'm finding it very hard to leave her. Have you left your little one overnight?
Sep 7, 2010 6:29AM
We left DS with my Mum overnight at 12 weeks and it was tough but he was absolutely fine and behaved better for her than me! Typical!
I think the sooner you can do it, the easier it's likely to be honey.
Sep 7, 2010 7:25AM
lol my mil has had ds1 once when he was 5 and she never will again I have 'issues' with my mum and dad (separated) having kids in their care too so don't leave them with them either although I think we are particularily unlucky with our kids grandparents
Sep 7, 2010 7:31AM
my mum has looked after my DS from about 4 weeks old as i went back to work early although only for a few hours 2 afternoons a week, he didnt stay over night until he had been sleeping through for a few weeks (around 14weeks) as i didnt want my mum having to get up to him or him being unsettled, ...
now....the MIL is a different matter altogether! she has looked after my DS but only at our house and i cant imagine him sleeping the night there i think i would be a complete wreck and he is now 9months old. He regularly sleeps at my mums house maybe 1 or twice a month when me and OH go out.
In the early days it was horrendous leaving him but it does get easier and there is nothing like walking back through the door and being greeted by the biggest smile!
Sep 7, 2010 8:24AM
I first left dd1 for about 6 hours with my mum when she was 7 months old so I could go into work to do some prep for going back. We first left her overnight with MIL when she was 1. Dd2 is 5 1/2 months and I haven't left her once yet.
I breastfed/feed both though so until they reliably slept/sleep through the night or will accept milk in a cup or bottle leaving them is just not an option.
It does get easier but don't worry - unfortunately that gut-wrenching feeling is normal, esp when they're so tiny.
Sep 7, 2010 8:59AM
I first left dd1 overnight when she was 3yrs old. dd2 is now nearly 8 months and I have no plans so leave her anytime soon. We don't have any need to really, if we go out for a night whoever babysits comes to our house and if we go away for a weekend then we take the kids with us.
Sep 7, 2010 9:11AM
my dd is 5 and a half months and i have never left her vernight. i have never felt the need to. she is ebf so it would be difficult anyway! if it doesnt feel right, dont do it.
Sep 7, 2010 9:40AM
I left my dd with my mum (who I get on with v well and trust more than anyone except hubs!) at about 6 weeks for about an hour. I hated it and couldnt stand being away. Since then its got slightly easier, but still only leave for a couple fo hours at the most. I wont leave her overnight til shes much older unless i have to (for bb no2!). She is 10ms now.
Sep 7, 2010 10:34AM
I left ds with my mum for a few hours one evening when he was 8-9 weeks old - it was so I could go to my SIL's leaving do before she emigrated, in a bar in town so I couldn't take lo and I sort of felt I had to go - but to be honest I wish I hadn't as for me it was too soon to leave him and I felt pushed into it, by people wanting me to go and my parents who wanted to babysit! I first left him overnight when he was 13 months - but I left him at home with his Daddy while I went to my sister's hen night. We both left him overnight, but my mum came to stay at our house with him, when he was 21 months - but I sort of wanted to have a trial run for when baby 2 was born, when we obviously had to leave him (she was born at 2am, so we put him to bed, called MIL to come round just after midnight when my waters went) when he was 23 months.
Dd is now 10 weeks, and I left her once with Daddy to have my hair cut, but I don't feel a need to leave her with anyone else yet.
It's really up to you and how you feel hun - but please do it on your terms, don't let someone (your mum or mil for example) have your baby overnight because they want to if you don't feel ready. They can still be fab grandparents without having her overnight - but if you do feel you want a night to yourself and they;re willing to have her, then let them. If you're going back to work then baby does have to be used to spending at least some time without you - but 9 weeks is still very young, there's plenty of time.
Sep 7, 2010 11:10AM
I don't think there's a right age, it's about whether you trust the person you're going to leave baby with. I think my lo was about 5/6 weeks old and I left her with my parents, and was totally confident that she would be absolutely fine and well cared for. I think it's important (imo) for her to stay with others - not that I leave her often but I've left her overnight now on 2 occasions since she was born (she's 16 weeks now) and have had babysitters on two occasions so I could go on a special night out and to go to a friends wedding.
A friend of mine said she regretted not letting lo stay over with her friend/family earlier as it makes it much harder now to try to arrange this as lo doesn't like being with anyone other than her parents (older child now obv)
Sep 7, 2010 12:25PM
my parents went on hols for a week when I was 3months old and left me with my grandparents!! My baby isn't here yet, but I can't imagine going as far as they did, but might leave baby with them for one night at that age. depends how feeding/expressing goes I suppose
Sep 7, 2010 2:08PM
I havent left the twins overnight yet, and dont have any plans to. Theyre 11 months and im doing it for the benefit of the adults they would be left with as much as myself! They still dont reliably sleep through, and arent the easiest of babies.
I did leave them for the odd hour in the evenings, but babysitters (grandparents - I havent ever left them with anyone else) when they were small.
By the time they were 6 months I went back to work and they spend 2 days with hubby, 1 day with my mum and one day with my stepmum. It does get easier but I certainly wont be leaving them overnight for a good while yet!
Sep 7, 2010 2:22PM
I'm leaving my LO for my mum for the first time this Friday. Only for a couple of hours mind but he's 8 months old. I've left him plenty of times in the evening once he's asleep (with daddy or family 'babysitting') but never when he's been awake. At 9 weeks your lo is still very young so it's perfectly ok to feel that you're not ready to leave her, I still feel unsure at 8 months!! She will be absolutely fine being looked after someone else though it's just something us mum's have to get our heads round! x
Sep 7, 2010 2:37PM
I left my DD with my mum overnight when she was about 6 weeks old... We do live in the same house though, lol.
(I went out for the night).
Sep 7, 2010 2:40PM
gemmiebaby, i havent left dd with anyone overnight either purely for that reason!! she is nearly 11 months!
tbh, i dont feel the need to have a babysitter yet!
Sep 7, 2010 2:46PM
My 9 month old little boy hasn't stayed out overnight yet but I am planning for him to do so soon, just so that he does it and we get it out of the way. Might sound silly to some but I do think it's something that they ought to get used to but only occasionally, and only ever to his grandma's.
I did start to leave him for a few hours at a time when he was about 6 weeks old but it was only maybe every few weeks or so, and again, only ever with OH or his grandma xx
Sep 7, 2010 4:45PM
We lived with mil when my ds was born and I think the first time I left him was when he was 5 days old! I didn't plan to - we were going to register his birth and mil suggested we left him with her. When we were living there and she was staying in then once ds was in bed we would go out....he always slept through then. He's gone away with the Mil twice for the weekend as she has a caravan, and we've been away there once without him. I had hang-ups about leaving ds (not cos of mil just cos I missed him!) when he was tiny, but I do think leaving him early was a good idea. I hardly ever leave him now except to work, but if mil offers to have him for the weekend I won't refuse as I can get lots of stuff done. She likes to have her own time with him sometimes x
Sep 7, 2010 4:57PM
it should be when you are ready and if you have anyone who you feel comfortable leaving the baby with,
i have no problems with my mum looking after LO overnight but unfortunatley she is quite far away, she has had him overnight when he was about 17 weeks although i missed him like crazy, i would NEVER leave LO with the MIL as i dont feel comfortable or belive she is capable of looking after him as he cant tell her whats wrong or what he needs or tell her shes being a wally, she had had him for a few hours but its always a nightmare to settle him after shes had him so we avoid it if we can
Sep 8, 2010 11:45AM
We left our daughter at 10 weeks old and she stayed at my moms for the night - she was absolutely fine. I agree with someone who said the earlier you do it the easier it is - I think its good for me to have a break
Sep 8, 2010 1:38PM
first time i left her was for 2 days when she was 3 weeks old. i didnt feel bad about it at all. this week she's 10 weeks and we're leaving her with her grandparents to go to london for the weekend
Sep 8, 2010 1:55PM
We left DS overnight with the MIL (at our house, she came to stay) when he was 12 weeks and sleeping through. DD was younger at 5 weeks but that was only because I was admitted to hospital for a couple of nights following a op. She stayed with our very lovely neighbours, who are also their godparents, as OH and DS were really poorly with chest/ear infections. After that I think they were about 3 and a half yrs and 8 months when they slept out. We tend to go out for evenings and the MIL babysits at ours then sleeps over. Has the added advantage that they only want her in the morning, mummy and daddy are sooooooo uninteresting!!
There's no right or wrong time to do it, it's when you feel comfortable. I love the "us" time and we do try to go out once or twice a month even if it's just to the pictures!
Jun 19, 2019 3:17AM
New to the game at 35.
Hello all. My husband just surprised me last week by saying if I wanted to have a baby he is willing to do so. He has 2 kids, 14 and 8, from previous relationships so for the 5 years we've been together it was all "don't want another ". We got married April 1st of this year. I have PCOS so I had accepted life without a baby of my own and have been on BC for most of my adult life. But now he has changed his mind and I am ecstatic and terrified! I threw away my last 4 active pills, which obviously messed up my cycle lol. So here we go to see what we can do. I cant decide if it would be scarier to conceive right away or for it to take a long time (if at all). I am on Metformin for diabetes (very well controlled, a1c of 5.4 last time checked) and I've been taking inositol supps for a while now just to see if they could help with other symptoms. Also started taking prenatal vitamins as preparation. Sorry for my long winded intro, I'm just excited. Thanks for reading if you got this far!
May 29, 2019 9:20AM
Due in February 2020
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