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i need to rant x

my OH gets in from work kisses LO on top of head then potters about, goes for a run comes back has a shower by then its time for her bath/bottle bedtime routine, he helps with the bath but the rest is left to me.

It really annoys me I have the broken nights sleep so am shattered I love my LO so much but by 6pm I just want to be able to have some time for me just to be able to cook or do some chores but no he ends up cooking and I am left holding her and settling her.

Before you ask yes I have spoken to him about it then he gets the hump and tells me how busy he has been that day blah blah

I go back to work full time in feb and am dreading having to juggle everything, i think we are heading for one big row, his comment as he went out for a run tonight was "if you are tired why don't u go to bed at 7.30pm when she does" mmmnn thanks for that

anyone else have this kind of situation, he loves us both to bits but it feels to me his life has not changed one bit since she was born



  • oh, how familiar that sounds!! my oh is a gym fanatic. he doesn't get home from work until after 7pm and then heads to the gym often missing bottle, bed routine and i do the night feed too. i'm actually jealous that your oh cooks dinner as mine doesn't. he also gets his saturday morning lay in by which time i have given lo 2 feeds, bathed and dressed him and then sunday mornings he plays football.

    i'm actually fed up with the sound of my own voice moaning at him now. i guess he will just seriously regret it in years to come and that's something he will have to live with, not me.

  • your not wrong you can not get this time back can you but even so I just wish he would actually realise that I do not sit on my backside all day watching TV and that having a small baby is very tiring

  • hi hun, i love my oh, but he does not help that much either, if i ask him to do something, if he doing nothing, i fed babe at night time, sort out son if he wakes in night and then wakes up whenever they wake up and he lays in, he don't wash up, clean up after himself, dumps dirty clothes on floor, he is still a student, thats my life it won't change sorry hun, hope you can ask him to take turns with things, like you cook and he washes up etc x x
  • feel a bit better knowing I am not the only one with issues with the lack of help!

  • wishwillow it seems it is a man thing! he has told me this morning that he is going to the pub tomorrow to watch the footie I said no problem, then said by the way on Sunday I am off to Lakeside for the day, all the bottles will be ready for you, he said shall we all go and I replied no I think it would be nice for you to have a few hourws with your little girl without me!

    That I believe is the way to do it
  • So glad you have said that flowerlands as that was EXACTLY what I was about to suggest - my hubbie could be like this when our little man was tiny and I did just that a couple of times - Just said 'oh by the way you are looking after max on sat I am out with x' - it worked a treat for us all - oh enjoyed spending time with him, I got some time off, AND oh realised how hard and how much there was to do cos I would come in from my few hours out and say 'oh, have you not done that washing and put the dishwasher on and changed the beds?' and he would go 'no I've been trying to sort MAx out AND you didn't tell me all that needed doing' (well shocked) then I would gently say - well you don't tell me I just know it needs doing and the fairies don't get it done the rest of the time so normally I do all you have AND all that as well - after a couple if these occasions he realised just what hard work being a PARENT is!
  • I like your style maxi-mum I am going to try that out when i get back, he sent me a text saying that he is looking forward to having her on his own and hoping the weather is nice so they can go for a walk.

    I feel so much better now rather then sitting seething away I have just thought actually I should not have to check and book him just tell him and it has worked yay xx
  • God this post has made me feel better, like I'm not the only one

    H2B goes to work during the day, then he gets home, he might eat (if he hasn't gone to his mum's to eat before coming home) then he goes out again. I feel like he doesn't want to spend time with us and it breaks my heart. He was like this while I was PG too, but then he had the excuse that he needed to get it out of his system before the baby came (yeah right!)

    He never changes nappies or feeds her, I asked him to feed her the other night and he said he was playing his PSP. So what?! If I was playing the computer and she was hungry I would have to stop playing!

    I never expected him to do night feeds during the week as he had to go to work, but I don't get help on the weekend either.

    If I do decide to go out without her he takes her to his mums. He is capable of doing it himself so I don't know why he doesn't.

    My mum says to me that she is his trophy baby. He will take her and show her off to people, but when it comes to the hands on stuff he isn't interested. I have to agree with her

    Oh and also, he has said that he doesn't think that taking care of her would be that hard! He leaves his dirty dishes and clothes for me to sort, and when I dare to ask more than once for him to sort it out I am a nag

    Last night he said that it would change, but I have heard it too many times to believe him
  • Kimmy you sound very fed up, do what I am doing take some time off if he chooses to go to his mum's with your LO then there is not much you can do but you must make some time for you

    As Alcott rightly said he will regret it in years to come, it is good to know that we are all having to put up with the same stuff

  • This makes me soooo mad! My oh is very similar. Only recently he will get up with los on a sunday morning because i have moaned and moaned. sometimes getting up 3 months everyday all through the night and every morning without any break. I have to do virtually all housework and oh just asks why it has to be done. He does not have the first clue about ;looking after a home. He starts to retch if i ask him to clean the toilet and point blank refuses to clean bathroom. He also says that he works and therefore shouldnt have to do much in the house. BUT i am livid that we just say ok to it and live with it. Why oh why??? I dont understand why i am the one painting the kitchen, putting pics up, nailing in door seal and movinf furniture from room to room on my own just weeks after a c section. And i have let it happen. I should never have let this happen....i have got what i settled for and you ladies are right. They will never change because they are selfish, infantile bastards and one day i will tell him so without apologising for it an hour later. phew. thats better. xxx
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