..True love or Just settled?

I was talking to a mate recently, and she was talking about past loves.. There was one fella she went out with for about 3 years and she was utterly head over heels in love with him, really adored him, proper passionate relationship... but of course he broke her heart & she made a fool of herself chasing after him!

Now she is going out with a fella for roughtly the same length of time about 3 years, he is fairly good to her, there relationship is stable and she says she loves him.. but that it's a familiar type of love rather than fireworks, sex apeal, acheing love!


& I was talking to my mum yesterday and she said to me.. is there anyone who truely finds there one love, who gives it all & you are completely and utterly happy and you both have all your needs & wants met.. without it ever crossing either parties mind about going out side the relationship & for it to last?

My first proper boy friend was sooo good to me treated me like I was up on a pedisel (sp) he used to tell me how lucky he was to have me, was always kind, gentle, looked after me, worked hard, funny & we had great talks!, treated me well.. & you know what I just wasn't intrested.. there wasn't THAT spark..you know!! ;\)

Then I went out with another lad, & he made me go weak at the knees, oh god he was soo georgous image well Fitt body, funny, bit moody (I quite like that! :lolimage good job, made me feel amazing! & lol i'm always quite hard work as a girl friend to get.. I never slepted with him but I was Reeeeaally starting to fall for him! As soon as he relised the chase was sorta finished he lost intrest & he snogged someone behind my back :\(

& now, i'm in a relationship that's a bit of both! He is really good to me! really loves me! we're passionate, I really do love him & am in love with him.. (lol sometimes more than others!!) he always calls when he says he will, doesn't play games, keeps me on my toes image He is a fab Daddy, really romantic!, gentle, sweet, strong, bit moody, funny! ect..

I wouldn't swap him for the world.. lol even if I do moan about him (don't we all!) , I do honestly know that I am a really lucky girl to have such a good fella!

sometimes tho I feel i've had my wings clipped if that makes sence?

So my Question is.. do you believe that there is such a thing as 'a true one & only love' or that people just 'settle' because it's a comfortable love?

what did you do?



  • I had boyfriends, none were very 'spectacular' as such. Then I met my oh.....the 1st day we apent together we basically chatted and chatted for HOURS!! It was like we'd always known each other! Then, in the early hours he trotted off home and I felt as if my flat was totally empty without him there - I even felt lost! Anyway, he rang me about lunchtime that same day, came back over in the evening after work and never left.....the rest, as they say, is history!!! We have been married for 8 1/2 years now, have 5 gorgeous kids and I wouldn't be without him for the world - yes, I can have a moan about stuff, but I am happy and love him with all my heart!
  • ooh yeah, true love for me aswell - my soul mate and we fell in love at first sight!

    Met in a nightclub and have basically been together ever since. We have massive rows as we're both really stubborn and passionate but he is my best friend and knows me better than anyone in the world.

    I'm very lucky, he's good to me, can cook, cleans better than me, is very hands on, doesn't go to the pub, doesn't do anything (too) illegal! and most of all loves me right back.

    Love him to bits even when he's being a bit of a prat which is fairly often (he's a bloke at the end of the day lol!)

    Blimey Natalie - this is all a bit Mills & Boons for a Monday afternoon!xx
  • ohh this is good-I've always said that I think everyone has the 'one' but this isn't necessarily the 'one' that you are supposed to be with.

    Does that make sense??? lol
  • not many people know this but my current relationship started off as rebound sex!!!!

    We had known each other from school and started off as a bit of fun, now we're happily married and have a little girl! And yes, it has grown into true love.
  • Our relationship is quite firey & Passionate! I love that, it keeps me intrested! I couldn't be without him either & do think 'we're meant to be'.. I think yeah, what you were saying about the thrill of the chase is prob what I mean about my wings being clipped! :lol: But we're actaully much happier now after 6 1/2 years than we were in the first year or two! I do adore him, he is such a big part of my life! & I don't think I'd ever want to be without him.. :lol: even when her is driving me mental! I don't know anyone who knows me better! & I know him inside and out!! (even when he doesnt want me too he he!)
    Karen, I've never read mills and Boon! is it all slushy muck? :lol:
    also I have a close friend who lives far away & were were going to ask them to be charlie's god parents, but they just split up! I cried :lol: I honestly thought that THEY would together forever! Got me thinking! lol x
  • Realised, I didn't actually answer!! lol! With my OH it is true love...

    By the age of 19 and a half I was married with 2 kids and soon to be single. This hit me really hard and I spent several years from the age of 21 (when we finally parted) and 24 getting drunk on my nights off and taking part in bad relationships. During this time I met the man I think is my 'the one' but we could never ever be together but the relationship was amazing. :roll:

    Then I met MrTink. He is my everything. He is my support, my best friend and my greatest lover!! ;\) What I am lacking in he has in abundance-ie humor, I don't laugh enough-it sounds silly I know but life has been hard I'm too serious!! any way he is my funny man and he completes me.

    We fight... god he's stubborn!! and I cry-always!! but life is good. We have been together 5 years on the 20th May and married 2 years on the 19th but it feels like he has been with me forever. I can't really remember life before him. I ground him-he used to be a bit of a bad boy!! :lol: and he makes me see the funny side of life and enjoy it a whole lot more!! image

    Don't tell him this I'll never hear the end of it!! :lol:

    This has made me smile just writing this!! image

    Lydia xx
  • I'll buy the JD when TJ arrives!! lol
  • i think ours is true love been together 7 yrs know get on like when we first. must admit off course we argue but 5mins after you'd never know we had fallen out. they never last long. everyone i know says im spoilt and they can tel we should be together. ive had bf's in the past but nothing like this one. know been married nearly 3 yrs and our child is know 8 months. couldnt be happier.
  • hmm, this is a tricky one...

    i too had a boyfriend for 2&half yrs from when i was 17 and i still to ths day believe that he was the best choice for me but it ended by mutual choice when we were both at uni as it became clear that we wanted diff tings out of life...i then started seeing (by seeing i mean drunkenly falling into bed with) an older man and got preggers, had madi and realised tht although i love madi with all my heart and dont regret having her, i was a fool to think a baby would turn a relationship into something it was never destined to be.

    had couple of boyfriends since, one who made me think i was his true love (i was thinking ooh slow down a bit love!) and then cheated on me...and then a year in a very on/off relationship with a younger lad. then i met shaun....

    from the first time i met him, something told me that we would get married and after a few weeks we were totally head over heels for each other...however he always behaved like a carefree soul, whiling away afternoons in the pub whenever he fancied, acting jack the lad, and unfortunately, despite us being married and having had Braedon, he still does this! doesnt seem to understand that he has responsibilites now. despite the fact that he regularly lies to me whenhes in the pub and does what he wants, i cant see myself with anyone else and honestly believe that we will be together for the rest of our lives.

    so in answer, i guess he must be the "one" or else i'm a silly cow for sticking with him and putting up with his crap!!!
  • me and my hubby haven't spent longer than 4 days apart since we met 8 years ago!
    We were both at my friends 18th birthday party and i saw him walk in and thought 'hello'! LOL and everytime i looked over at him he was looking at me! a girl i knew -not my friend, she was a friend of a friend and she had liked him for ages (biggest slapper going! he really wasn't interested and avoided her at all costs) she invited him over to our table (for herself) and when we were left alone i asked him if he liked her (as if i was her friend getting info) and he said 'no-i like you' and held my hand, it was so sweet! she kinda got the hint when he pushed her aside for a photo of us together! then we had a kiss at the end of the night, he called the next day and the rest is history!
    we have had some rough times and have split up many times, never over anything serious just silly kids things we were 17 when we met and had a lot of growing up to do-nobody every took us serious when we split because they all say we were made for eachother-we are interested in the same things want the same things out of life! we argue regualrly but i think that is a healthy relationship, and after 2 mins one of us usually says 'fancy a cuppa!' lol
    we know a few couples who 'never argue' but you can see its building up and all seems alittle fake to me!
    We went through a bad patch when lo was born and splitting up was on the cards, then we decided we had been together too long and have lo now to just chuck it all away, then i found i was pregnant again and seemed like a sign that we should def be together and we decided then that all the silly talks of splitting up wouldn't happen again, i def believe we were meant to be together!
    tbh i fancy him more now and the love we have is far deeper now than its ever been!


  • yeah i do believe there is such a thing and im more than a million percent sure that iv found it with my hubby.
  • I definitely think there are relationships were people are happy and never think to look outside the relationship. I think if you are fancying other people you are with the wrong person.

    Since i got with my husband 5 years ago i have not fancied another person. I truly love him and know he loves me. Yes we argue but most of the time we are happy. We balance each other out which is why i think it works. I couldnt stand to be in a relationship were we argued all the time. I dont miss the chase or those feelings you get when you first go out with someone cos i still get them with my husband. Thinking about him gives me butterflys and when we are apart i cant wait to be with him.
  • I think this is a lovely post!

    I met hubby in the bar at uni. We were really good friends and one night decided if it was a rubbish night at the nightclub we would go back to the halls of residence and get pizza! At midnight hubby came to find me in the night club and bribed me to leave and go get pizza with him. The rest is history. I loved him from that moment. Yes, we argue, but I couldn't be without him. He is my one and only love and my soul mate. I am very happy with him and Lily.
  • Yes there is def true love and me and my husband are like that. I would be lost without him and love him so much. He makes me so happy in everything he does and I think it makes a difference. We met each other at work. He was full time and I worked part time along with uni. We were both going with other people at the time but the minute we connected we both knew we were supposed to be together. It was a really strange feeling. I realised then that the relationship that I had been in was a habit as I had been with him for 7 years and never felt like this once. Ray split with his girlfriend of 9 years as well as they were not getting on. 10 days later we were an item. We were so loyal to our ex's and never got together with each other before that as we both knew if we were able to cheat on someone then we were capable of it again. I have to say that it has been the best 6 1/2 years of my life ever. We are married for over 2 and have a gorgeous daughter who is 15 months and who is our world. My husband is a brilliant daddy and would do anything for the 2 of us. So I have to say there definitely is true love. After reading that back it sounds so soppy but its all true lol.
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