Getting baby to sleep in his own cot?

We had intended for our baby to sleep in his carry cot in our room but so far we're having real problems getting him to settle in it at night.
He'll take naps in it during the day without too much persuasion but at night time he never settles before midnight, usually closer to 1am. He'll only sleep in our arms or in our bed. We've had the odd night where after 2am we've managed to get him to sleep in the carry cot by transferring him from our bed after he's fallen asleep at the breast but usually I end up banishing hubby to the spare room and I keep baby in bed with me - just so that we can get some sleep.
I really don't want to co-sleep and I don't expect baby to sleep through for a good long time yet but I do want to be able to have him sleep in his own bed between night feeds.
We've already put him in a sleeping bag and when we transfer him to his cot we already keep a hand on him for a while so he doesn't get too much of a shock, but 9 times out of 10 he'll wake up 5 minutes after we've put him down. He then demands to feed again but only sucks for a minute or so before falling asleep again so he's not hungry, he just likes to suck to fall asleep. We've also tried a dummy but he won't take it.
Any suggestions on what we can do before we end up stuck with the co-sleeping situation? I'm getting desperate.
He's nearly 3 weeks now.
Mrs C

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  • Oh he is still very young chuck!!!! I wouldn't expect too much too soon!!

    Our routine is...

    lots of mini feeds during afternoon then about 6.30pm baby has a bath, then we dim the lights dress baby and don't talk her, put a clean nappy on then give hera last feed, again without talking. We then put her in her cot/moses basket put the monitor on and say "good night, love you" and put her dummy in.

    Then everytime she cried we went upstairs and just put the dummy in without making eye contact or talking to her.

    The first few times it did take us about an hour before she settled but it was easier taking it in turns and now we put her down anywhere and she goes straight to sleep.

    My MW said if she cries and and continues to cry then you pick her up and she stops then "she's taking the piss!!!" so try not to pick them up.

    My baby wouldnt take the dummy initally but then i would wiggle it in her mouth and now she does...it might be worth trying again??

    Also if baby wakes during the night for a feed...again do this as quietly as possible to help baby recognise day and night.


    I would try and get into a sort of routine as early as possible as i think the earlier you do it the easier it is.
  • should probably also add occasionally when she cries and cries and cries what we did is sat with her in the same room with our hand on her belly but again not making eye contact or talking...sometimes it is really tough but definitely worth it now. x
  • Thanks for the reply.
    That sounds like controlled crying to me though and while I'm happy to try that when he's older, I'm not comfortable doing it when he's only 3 weeks old. Plus my toddler is asleep in the next room and letting baby cry like that will distress him and keep him awake.
    I already feed him in the dark at nighttime and don't talk to him to help him see the difference between night and day. Is there anything else I can try?
    I wouldn't bother so much about the lack of sleep but hubby drives trucks for a living and the thought of him being out on the roads with only an hour's sleep is terrifying. And I have a very demanding two year old who is up all day from 6.30am til 7.30pm and I'm finding it such a struggle to keep him amused all day when I'm so exhausted!
  • sorry you've misunderstood me...if she cries and cries then we put our hand on her tummy she stops...then eventually falls alseep
  • Oh sorry!
    We've tried putting our hand on his tummy but the only thing that works is picking him up.
    I'll definitely keep trying the dummy though, I'm praying that one of these nights he'll take it.
    The little bugger is really taking the mick - he's just had a 2 hour nap in his cot - if he did that during the night i'd be over the moon!
  • hahahaha!!! I now have a baby who has found her voice so loves shouting and cooing as loud as she can at 3am!!! Just as I thought I was eventually getting a bit of sleep!!! Good luck x
  • We had this problem with Hayden going in his moses basket at night and the only thing that would get him to sleep was fast rocking while he was swaddled in it. It was hard for a few weeks becuase you'd have to do it for half hour everytime he finished a feed so you could be rocking at 2am 4am 6am etc! Just try different things, my friend has to drive around every night to get her little one to sleep!!!
  • Hi I read the baby whisperer- 'the baby whisperer solves all your problems' when my lo was newborn and it really helped for us. She gives advice about getting your baby to become an independent sleeper who doesnt need intervention (rocking, driving around etc) I really recommend it. Good luck
  • Ahh, my lo loves comfort boob. He would sleep for hours on my breast and had such a strong suck instinct as he has got older he sucks his hands, sleeves, my clothes...anything he can get in his mouth! Maybe if he wont take the dummy you need to try another way of comforting him to get him off comfort boob. It will be trial and error I expect and my lo is my first so I am certainly no expert! have you tried swaddling instead of sleeping bag, fast rocking, try sleeping with one of his bed sheets then putting it on his bed and it will smell of you - or use a t shirt you have slept in. If he takes naps what do you think the difference is? is the cot in a different place? does he need a night light? I think my lo used to wake up with a shock when I transferred him when he was asleep so maybe try putting him in awake several times a day and just stroke his head and talk to him in soothing tones for a while to get him used to be relaxed in there. Good luck hon, my lo is 12 weeks now and my hubby is back from the depths of the spare room so there is hope! xx
  • Hi, I can remember the same problem when my DS was that little. I just kept perservering with him and eventually he slept on his own.

    I used to make sure it was completely dark (I found a night light made things worse), put him down awake and I put the moses basket right next to the bed so I could just lean my arm out to settle him if he did cry rather than having to get up.

    I did find a few useful tings months later (typical!!) in the Jojo maman bebe catalogue which I think might have helped - a weighted blanket, which gives the feeling of being cuddled and also a sleep nest that ensures safe co sleeping, might be worth a look if you get desperate!

    HTH
    Claire xx
  • Have you tried a sleeping bag? I found that what Millie didn't like about the Moses basket is that it was cold when I pit her back in after a feed so she preferred our arms or the bed, which I was also against as I'm too scared. Now she's in the sleeping bag, I can take her for a feed all warm and comfy and put her back in still warm and comfy. It seems to work at the moment!
  • Have you tries swaddling? This worked brilliantly for my little boy x
  • I second the baby whisperer book, some really good tips in there. Also maybe try putting something in cot thar smells of you, you could use a t-shirt or your pillow case as a sheet in the carrycot?
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