So scared of SIDS!!

Hey girls

I am writing to get my feelings out cos its driving me mad!! I have an 8 week old little girl and I am worried every second of every day that she is going to die of SIDs. It is taking over my life, so much that despite my exhaustion, I cannot sleep.

I know that the chances are pretty slim but I am in a complete panic about it. I follow all the guidelines and neither me or my partner are smokers but still I cannot stop fretting. I tried to talk to my partner about it and he said I was being pathetic and I need to chill out-maybe he is right but I cannot help it!!

Thanks for listening


  • Thanks for the response. It is nice to know that other people feel like this. I cannot wait for her to be a little older so the chances are even slimmer. When I have spoken to people about it they say that it won't happen...but it has to happen to somebody, doesn't it??!! I know I sound completly mad but am so anxious rergarding this subject!!
  • Oh hun you sound so much like me in th early days! What I did was just check him all the time to make sure he wasnt too warm etc. I used to stay in the room whilst he was sleeping as well, and as he got older I withdrew slightly until he now goes to sleep on his own. I know it's not what everyone wants to do, but it was either that or me sit and worry! He used to sleep well with me watching tv quietly in bed so it was fine. He's now 8 months and although I do still worry, it's nowhere near as much. He has a dummy as well as i've read this can reduce the risk, and I have a video monitor which I check him on to see his chest rising. It is worrying, and I was really worried about "peak" cot death times etc and watched him more closely at these (I know I sound like a nutter!) and like your hubby mine said I was being silly when I brought it up. I think it's normal to worry, but try to enjoy your time with your LO, and just be aware of risks etc. Don't be like me and terrify yourself on their website! I'm sure all will be fine, and the risk decreases all the time. Big hugs. I still pop in to check the temp in our room when Riley is in bed, but much less now. xxx
  • i was the same still am even thought hes just turn one . i bought a angel care moniter and found it gave me a little peace of mind and i did find i worried a lot less since he got to 6 months
  • i was the same still am even thought hes just turn one . i bought a angel care moniter and found it gave me a little peace of mind and i did find i worried a lot less since he got to 6 months
  • Hi ladies I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant and this is my biggest fear about having a baby. Its always been something I've worried about and I don't even have any children yet but have a sister who is 11 years younger and shared a room with, maybe that's why. I don't know what I'll be like by the time baby arrives.I've bought the baby monitor that little one lies on and am hoping this will give me some peace of mind though I still think I'll worry.
    Debs x
  • I know this is not what you want to hear, I have a four month LO but my friend had a 8 week old LO who sadly passed away two weeks ago.
    Was so sad but there is really nothing you can do to prevent it. Is heartbreaking, the chances are slim but it does happen. I felt so guilty when I found out because I have always been really lax with my LO, havnt got a monitor etc, obviously make sure he is safe but never particularly worried about it. It is utterly inconceivable to me that my LO would not be here one day and I find it hard to talk to her about Jacob. There really is no answer, just comes out of the blue. But the advice my friend gave me was not to worry too much because that wont stop it, and to enjoy every second you have with your child. They are the most precious thing ever.

    Sorry to be doom and gloom x:cry:
  • I also worry about this and constantly get up to check him, is there anything else i can do to reduce the risks? and what age do the risks start to decrease?
  • The risk significantly decreases at 6 months. I watched a programme recently about babies and they now think SIDS is caused by a reflex babies have in the womb. When they practise breathing in the womb if there is not much oxygen the brain tells the lungs to stop 'breathing'. By six months most babies have lost all of their newborn reflexes - including this one!!

    All the guidelines are there to make sure the baby is constantly getting fresh oxygen so that the brain doesnt tell the lungs to stop. For example - dont use a cot bumper so that air can circulate the crib/cot, put baby at the foot of the cot so they cant wriggle under the covers or use the sleeping bags, make sure they dont get too hot, make sure room is well ventilated, use a dummy, put baby to sleep on back and make sure they sleep on firm bedding eg not a beanbag as they could bury their face in it. Also use cellular blankets as if they pull it over their face they can breathe through the holes.

    I know its hard but try not to worry too much.
  • i 2 can relate with u hun! i have always worried about this but not to the extent that u do,iv managed to sleep! i am now pregnant with baby number 3 and i have heard about 3 people in the last couple of months who i know of whose babies have sadly passed away from sids and i know im gonna be really scared when this lo comes along! I am thinking of getting one of those baby monitors that u put under the cot mattress,does anyone have any experience of them? xxx
  • i worried about this when i first had jack and now on the rare occasions that he does sleep thru the night i still feel a bit scared to go in in the morning. my friend had one of the angel care monitor things that baby lays on and she said it is the best thing she has bought becuase she knows if anything was to ever happen the alarm would sound and you would be able to get to your lo immediately. at the time we were pregnant i thought it was a stupid idea and thought the alarm would be going off all the time and would make me worse but my friend says hers is absolutely brill. when i have lo number 2 i will def get one.
  • We have the Angelcare monitor and it's definitely worth it's weight in gold!! We get no interference except when one of us is sending/recieving a txt, lo comes through really clearly on the parent monitor. I often forget to switch the alarm off in the night when taking her out for a feed and it alarms really quickly & loudly. The nightlight is enough to see to her without switching 'big light' on.... The sensitivity to movement can be changed as well. When she goes into the cot, we need to get a piece of plywood for under the mattress as it needs to be on a firm base.

    Were really pleased with it :\)

    Edited to say SID's scare me too, Faye's routine at night sometimes varies and if she sleeps longer than normal I'm waking up wondering why she hasn't woken to feed and checking her so I don't ever benefit from these 'nice nights'

    [Modified by: MrsT on March 08, 2009 09:49 PM]

  • Its a worry that never goes to be honest, its always at the back of your mind. You are more like it with your 1st, well I was. But Kelsie is almost 17 months and I check on her when I get up to the toilet/before I go to bed etc just to make sure she's ok. The risk is greatly reduced after 6 months old though, and the chances are so slim. A friend of mine too lost her little girl to SIDS aged just 15 weeks old :cry: She was fine when they went to bed at 11.30, checked her at 2am and she'd died, and she died not longer after 11.30. They had monitor on and never heard a thing.

    You must try and stop worrying though honey. Its going to do you no good, as sadly there is nothing you can do to prevent SIDS. Its just a very unfortunate and very unlucky thing to happen.

    You're not being pathetic though. Its perfectly natural to feel the way you do.

  • Hi. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their messages. I have now got a motion sensor in the moses basket and am hoping that this will help me to relax a bit. I also went to the doctors this morning and she diagnosed postnatal depression and has started me on anti-depressants!!

    Thanks for your support xx
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