A bit down today!

Sorry, another post about Gabe's development.

I am genuinely worried.

He is 10 months on Monday. He doesn't:

-put much pressure on his arms when on tummy
-get into crawling position, or even try to!
-roll (he can but never does, hasn't for a couple months now)
-pull up
-get from lying to sitting (ie if I want him sat up I have to put him there)

I have spoke to HV about this loads and the HV who did his 9 month check too, and ALL they say is "more tummy time". Okay, 1 - he doesn't LIKE tummy time and 2 - I didnt even KNOW about tummy time till he was much older (why dont they tell new mums these things?) and 3 - if there's something genuinely wrong, how the hell will that make a difference!

My HV has no kids of her own (told my mil she doesnt even LIKE kids!), is an old battleaxe and is totally useless with a capital U. All she does it quote the friggin guidelines, you can predict what she says every time, there's no genuine advice that sounds like it's from a real PERSON.

I'm off to baby group today and the woman there used to be a HV, she's quite good, loves kids and at least HAS them....I'm going to ask her about it and have a talk about what could be up.

I'm also so sick of my mil and OH saying 'Oh he's fine, he'll do it in his own time'. I DONT want to push him into doing things - I'm sure any mum would be worried - I just want to know if something is wrong!!!

ARRGH sorry! :x


  • Im sure Gabe is fine like queen bee says if you are concerned take him to the gp itl put your mind at rest! Try not to worry hun every baby is different
  • Oh Sweetie try not to worry.
    My little girl has just turned 10 months too (she was 7 weeks early though!) and doesn't crawl or pull herself up yet either. I spoke to my HV about it on Friday and she told me that they don't worry about it until they reach 12 months.
    How is the rest of his development?
    Although my little girl is slow to get moving she's advanced in other areas so maybe it really is just a case of they'll do it when they're ready (or can be bothered!)
  • dont get so down about it, but i do know how you feel ive been the same because i really want my boy to do it. for ages he wouldnt crawl and now he gets into position but wont actually move on hands and knees. the rest of the things hes doing but will not crawl. so now im slowly encouraging him to walk, he'll walk with me behind him so he as support but thats it.
  • Awh sweetheart, I know what it's like to be concerned about your LO and the people who are supposed to support you being laid back into next year! You know what it's been like with me & Ellie's feeding & I feel constantly like i'm banging my head off a brick wall.
    My own GP just kept telling me to speak to my HV but when I went to the open surgery & it was a different GP he was fab. I agree you should speak to your GP about your concerns and definitely see if you can request a new HV.

    The only advice I have, and I warn you now it is the hardest, is to relax! It honestly works because the more relaxed you are about things and the more fun you make doing things then the more enjoyable Gabe will find it. When he's on his tummy get down there with him and constant praise even if he only lies for 10 seconds make a big show out of it and try and do it a few times a day as well so he gets used to it.

    Good luck though hon and stand your ground, no-one knows your baby like you do!
    Lauren xox
  • Mother's insitinst applies here - if YOU think something is wrong you must get help from someone. Some babies are "chilled out" but you need to know if there is a development problem.
    I hope you can finally get to talk to a sympathetic person xx
  • Tigerlily have a listen to this it'll cheer you up! xo
  • I just found this on YouTube, Weird but made me laugh!!!
  • Forgot to put the link on, duh!

  • tigerlily like all the ladies say above if you are really worried go to the docs. i know exactly how you feel, fin doesn't sit up unaided, roll, crawl, feed self(can but chooses not to). he also screams the house down if he has 'tummy time', im sure that the neighbours think i murder him on a daily basis. and i think if your hv is bobbins then please request another. it always amazes me that people are employed to do a job that they have no idea about.lol.sending hugs and hope you feel better soon.xxx
  • Ok I NEED to reply to this properly but lo is just waking up so I will have to pop back later - but CHIN UP MRS and I will spill all in a bit!!! image
  • hey,

    I have one question for you - is Gabe a happy boy?

    Am him being happy is the most important thing!

    How about thinking of all the things he can do? He can feed himself finger foods cant he? And smile, and laugh?

    Not all babies crawl, a friend of mine was telling me that her two older girls didn't crawl or walk until they were about 13/14 months and there is nothing from wrong with them physically.

    He will find his own way of moving about when he wants to.

    If you do want to get him to enjoy tummy time then have you tried putting a rolled up towl under his chest to lift his head up and encourage him to put his weight on his hands? You can put toys in his reach that he can play with as he'll be supported by the towel. Also get on the floor with him, show him you lying on your tummy and make sure he can see you when he is on his tummy.
    Oddly Louise used to only like tummy time when she has her nappy off! Also she liked it when she could see herself and me in a mirror.

    Ad for the hv - I think that if we wrote down all thier common phrases 2 would be
    'can they settle themselves to sleep at night'
    'are they getting lots of tummy time'

    There is a little boy at a group I go to who is about 10 months who likes to sit and play - he doesn't like tummy time or have any enhusiam to move yet BUT he is the happiest little boy. He's quite happy sitting and playing while I'm now having to follow Louise as she decides to wander around - and it's not in the same direction as the other little crawler we're friends with......!
  • Hi tigerlily,

    Just to say, my cousins lil boy is about a fortnight older than Gabe. He too cant roll over, crawl, cruise etc. The only thing different he can do is stand and hold onto furniture when his parents stand him up and sit unaided.. Didnt want you to think its only your son that is like this.

    Also, as others have said, all babies do thing at their own speed. My cousin has put her boy on his side to encourage him to roll but he isnt interested and she has out toys out in front of him to to reach for but again he isnt interested.

    All Gabe isnt so far ahead in his gross motor skills, I believe he is in is fine motor skills. there are several things that Gabe does that my daughter doesnt do or was later in developing. She doesnt wave, point, she was quite a bit latter in saying dada, doesnt clap her hands, kisses etc.

    I know lots of us on hear say dont worry, I guess its nice to get some info from a health care professional who talks sense too. I hope the lady at the group can offer you some support. xxx
  • Like most, my lo used to HATE tummy time. Then a health professional told me that you don't actually have to put them flat on the floor for it to count as tummy time. Even them just lying on your chest at an angle counts. My lo is very happy to do this and smiles and looks up at me - it's quite a few mins before she realises that she isn't meant to be enjoying it!

    Also, apparently it is the frequency of how often they are on their tummy that is important too, not for how long. Around 8-10 times a day apparently! So even if this is just for 20 secs it's better than nothing.

    As the others have suggested, if you don't already then get down on the floor with him and play with him and his toys - hold them up so he has to turn his head in different directions as this is really good for them.

    You'll be amazed at how quickly he can come along x
  • Aww Lily is just the same...she is very good at sitting though bless her! She isn't fussed about doing the other stuff and is very happy. Like others have said if Gabe is happy then try not to worry about it. Lily should be having her 8 month check soon (late with it round here!) so it'll be interesting to see what my HV says about Lily's lack of movement! xxx
  • My little boy is exactly the same age at Gabe - actually I think born on the same day 9th May right? He can't do any of those things either - he has no interest in crawling and hates tummy time. He can't pull himself up and is basically just happy sitting. He can also roll over but prefers not to bother! You know what it is - these boys are just lazy! Seriously though I have other friends with children the same age and they don't do these things either so I don't think it is a major worry.
  • Gabe's development seems to be really good in other ways, and was waving etc a fair while before James and is talking more too. As the others have said, he is just developing different skills at the moment and will catch up with the gross motor skills when he is a bit older. As for tummy time, James only started liking it when he rolled onto his front in his cot and found it was a more comfortable way to sleep. Now I can't keep him on his back and have had to learn how to put nappies on with him on his tummy!

    Hope you feel a bit better about things soon, xxx
  • ok I am back!

    Max and Gabe sound SOOOOOOOOOOO similar - Max never really rolled - in fact I NEVER saw him roll till he was over a year - He would roll in his sleep as I found him on his tummy from time to time but he never did it often. He didn't crawl till he was 1yr and 2 weeks old (I know that precisely as we were trying to pack to go on holiday and he suddenly started crawling EVERYWHERE! :roll: ) then he was walking at 13 months and now at 15months RUNS EVERYWHERE!!!!

    With the not being able to sit himself up - no babies can go from lying to sitting by themselves until they can roll on to their tummy and then push themselves up and back onto their bums (does that make sense?) so that doesn't come till much later.

    It really is worth keep trying with tummy time Max HATED it too! and we didn't started it till too late as well. But I tried to make sure he had tummy time 3 times a day - generally if I got him to stay there for a minute each time it was good going! But it does help them to strengthen hea dand neck muscels and start to try and push up on their arms.

    Do you ever stand him up so he's on his feet and you take some weight and he takes the rest - do you see what I mean? This really helps to build their legs up and would therefore encourage him to start standing a bit.

    Really truely don't worry - as the others say he is doing plenty of other things and they do all dothings differently - all the babies I knew of Max's age were doing things WAY sooner than him but that's life I just focused on making sure he was happy and I was doing all I could with him and enjoying him! image
  • Thank you so much for all the replies, I feel loads better. I even feel guilty for even thinking that he is slow...cos he is perfect in my eyes...I just wanna know whats normal, you know?!
    Spoke to the HV at the group. She said basically the only reason they refer babies to the hospital for a development assessment is if they are not walking by 18 months. So thats why no one has raised it as a concern. But she did say I could get him referred just to put my mind at rest. I probably wont opt for that though - if he's not moving about by 1 I may do.
    EmmaA, thats right lol - 9th May!!! You're right, it may just be him being a lazy boy, and he seems to be advanced in other respects and quite social!
  • glad you are feeling more upbeat about it image
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