Calleigh, I repeat, I don't expect him to, nor did I state I did. He may not be able to sleep for 12 hours, but can manage 8 as he is now the weight of many 3 month olds. You know nothing about me, and I in fact recommended BW because it is mostly baby led. I feed my son when he is hungry, be that hourly,or 2, 3 or more hours between. Don't really understand why you're getting tetchy with me!
renri1002 - can I ask what a high birth weight is and how weight works with sleeping through? That sounds sarcastic but it's not I promise! I am genuinely asking as I haven't heard about this before. Toby is nearly 21 weeks and nowhere near sleeping through, yet was 8lb4oz at birth and is now on 91st centile (about 20lb). The longest he's ever gone between feeds is about 6 hours but as luck would have it that was from about 3am to 9am rather than the infinitely preferable midnight to 6am! He's never replicated it though and is still needing feeds every four hours or so, 24/7. I'm not worried or anything but would be interested to know what your understanding is of the link between weight and sleep?
Mine slept through once, a couple of weeks ago so he was maybe 2-3 weeks old? I have never known terror like waking up and realising that it was 6.15am and I'd not fed him since half ten the night before!
Thankfully (I think) he has decided not to do it again since!
My lo is 19 weeks old and weighed 23lbs 6oz at 17 weeks. He was 8lbs 9oz born. He has never slept through and wakes every 2 hours still, if only it was connected, i would be getting loads of sleep. xx
He was 10lbs 2oz, never lost any and is now 12lbs 10oz. I'm not a professional, so don't know the theory behind it, but working with a cranial osteopath to achieve better sleeping as at first he would only sleep for 30 mins at a time and not because he was hungry. Since being treated we now feed every 3 to 4 hours on demand during the day, with cluster feeds between 4 and 8, dream feed between 10 and 11, he wakes for a feed between 2 and 3 and then sleeps till between 6 and 7. I'm really happy with this, but the osteopath thinks he can do better and she has worked with babies for 20 years so I trust her. However, I continue to follow my son with what he tells me he needs and will not stop doing this. If he is a happy smily boy who is gaining weight well, which he is, then I'm a happy smily mum.
I think that every baby and every mother is different. What works for one person doesnt work for another. So i would just take each day as it comes and do what you feel you need to do, whether it be trust your instincts, GF routine or some tips from the BW. You may be blessed with the most chilled out easy-going baby who falls into his/her own routine and sleeps through early on, or you may have a stressy colicky baby who needs some kind of structure to help them sleep and settle.
My lo slept about 4-5 hrs from birth at night and then went on to sleep at least 8 hrs from about 5 weeks. A baby will wake you up if they are hungry, I personally wouldnt wake a sleeping baby at night. Babies are clever little things and are not slow in letting you know they aren't happy.
I think the thing with them being a higher weight means that there stomachs are bigger and so can take more milk at each feed so they can take enough during the day and therefore are able to sleep through the night without a feed. I don't know what weight that is mind! My dd1 was 7lb7oz at birth and pretty much stuck to the 50th centile and she slept through from about 10 weeks. Dd2 was a bigger birth weight at 9lb 6oz and is on the 91st centile but she didn't sleep through until about 14 weeks. So like most things all babies are different and will do things when they are ready but lets please not be offensive towards others for making a statement or expressing an opinion.
My baby slept through for 7 weeks, from about 8pm to 7-7:30pm. He had a blip from Easter Sunday onwards for 6 weeks where he kept waking, he was 5 months old, it got to once every 2 hours at one point. I still am not completely sure why, but he was definitely hungry so I fed him. Then after about 5/6 weeks he started not really wanting much food, so from that we got him back to sleeping through because he had just got into the habit of waking and didn't actually want anything more than a cuddle, a pat and the reassurance. He got that, and within a week was sleeping through again. It is possible for young babies to sleep through, not all of them, I don't actually think it's routine that gets them to do it, I don't know what it is!
I did read GF but from that took two pieces of advice that I wish I'd had earlier. One was to feed him every 3 hours in the day and the other was that if he didn't nap well and get enough sleep in the day, he wouldn't sleep at night. As soon as he started having feeds every 3 hours and a good amount of sleep in the day, he was a different baby.
No book is going to tell you evxactly how to deal with your baby, they're babies not machines, but if you can read it and it helps you to find out a bit more about what your baby needs throughout the day, I say go for it.
Gina Ford is good esp if you loosely interpret it as with any baby book. I don't want to comment in case I get shot down in flames so won't say any more good luck. Read everything you can and use what you like and can cope with. You will be a good mummy as we all are in our own ways. x
Yes I suppose the first thing I learnt about having a baby is that they're not always terribly convenient, having many needs that need meeting day and night. But that's what a baby is, you might get what you're looking for when baby is a year old or something but to aim for it now is probably unrealistic. Plus a high birth weight means nothing, baby is still a small baby.
It's not for me. If it works for other parents that's great (no sarcasm).
Just one thing: please don't get so hung up on trying to make baby do x y z as dictated by someone who has never met your baby that you stress yourself out. It might work brilliantly for you, but if it doesn't then don't give it a second thought.
I'm being criticised for repeating something I was told by a professional! I never even said I was expecting my fella to sleep through at this age, and I certainly don't see him as an inconvenience so get off my back!
I made the comment about my son not yet sleeping through to highlight the fact that these books are not miracles and that your baby will add his own take onto any routine you try to impose, but apparently it as taken to mean that I see my son as an inconvenience because he won't sleep for 13 hours...uh...no...not the case.
So sorry to the lady who started this post for hijacking it with my oh so controversial belief in what I'm told by a healthcare professional.
This is the first time I have wondered whether this forum is worth it. Opinions welcome, but talk with your intelligence and don't make judgements on things you have no knowledge, evidence or understanding of.
Oh, and I was born 11lbs 4oz and my sister was 10lbs 6oz. She slept through fron 3 weeks (10 hours) and I slept through from 4 weeks (9-11 hours)...supports the theory.
I tried to implement the GF routine, but Adam was having none of it. He wanted to eat and sleep at completely the 'wrong' times! On at least three occasions my hubby came home from work to find both me and Adam in tears as I'd been trying to force a routine on him too early.
In the end I went to a book shop, flicked through all the 'routine' books, and bought the one which most closely reflected what I was doing anyway (The Sensational Baby Sleep Plan). I felt much better afterwards! Evan so, I have since had to hide that one away, as it said Adam should have been sleeping through since week 8 - it's now week 14 and he's only done it three times!
I actually wish I'd read fewer baby books when I was pregnant, so I'd feel pleasantly surprised at Adam's progress rather than constantly beating myslef up that he is not sleeping through/self settling/reciting his ABCs etc...
I sometimes feel like I missed out on enjoying Adam's early days. I was so worried about what we 'should' be doing that I forgot to relax and enjoy what we *were* doing.
All I would say is even if you do have a routine, be prepared for it to change as your baby grows/progresses/encounters problems. The best thing I have ever done is learn to except that just because I thought I'd cracked something one day, it might not be the same the next, teething, hot weather and a cows milk allergy have all put paid to that.
A good bath and bed routine is helpful, very relaxing for your baby ad also lovely for you, I used to BF DS in the bath! However, again be prepared to be flexiable I have recently moved DS's bedtime forward by 40 mins and it's made a world of differance to him.
Also, mat leave goes in a flash, make sure you enjoy it fully and if that means not worrying too much about a routine then go with it!
PS meant to say, I understand about not having family nearby and my husband also works away in the week...I have found the best thing is not to get to stressed about getting every thing done in the day. I put DS to bed and then have a 40 min blitz of washing, tidying etc and and always a ready meal in the microwave on those nights!
I would do whatever feels right for you - I know I couldn't leave my baby to cry, but although I've not read GF, I think she is about a lot more than controlled crying and parts of what she suggests may work for you. I wouldn't try anything for the first few weeks though, I think it would just make life stressful.
We have been very lucky and Benjamin has fallen into his own routine - he is now 7.5 weeks and by 6 weeks he was sleeping for 12 hours, waking either once or twice, although I know this could all change. BTW, I double checked this with 2 HVs and both said as his weight gain was so good (and he was an average sized baby - 7lbs 6.5oz - gained 3lbs by 6 weeks) this wasn't a problem as long as he is feeding regularly through the day.
As the other ladies have said, cherish all your time together, being a mother is the most amazing job in the world,
I still don't get it - why do people thing GF is all CC??? I must've read it wrong and missed all that bit out, but she says feed the baby if it's hungry, meet its needs, and then it will be more happy and contented! I am by no means a GF fan, I'm really not, but I do feel she gets a bad press and makes mums who've found her methods helpful feel that they've done something wrong. No one is saying their baby is an inconvenience (I hope!) but when you're out of ideas, it can be helpful. My HV was useless and I actually (shamefully) had no idea how much time my baby needed to spend asleep, he would get overtired from the billions of visitors (no visitors next time!) who passed him round and cooed in his face, and so reading GF helped me to understand that he couldn't go more than about 2 hours awake before he needed to sleep. Brilliant. I wish the HV had told me that, then I wouldn't have needed a GF book!
Please don't think it's all CC and being mean, it's not. It's a starting point. If your baby doesn't 'fit' into a routine, don't force it. But it is helpful to find out more about the needs of your baby from someone who has had loads of experience with them, after all, babies can't tell us so someone's got to! x x x
"I have never known terror like waking up and realising that it was 6.15am and I'd not fed him since half ten the night before!"
mrs setters, i heartily concur! i remember when ds was but 3 days old and still in the birth centre, we all nodded off to sleep at around midnight, and the midwives had drummed it it into me that not to let him go more than 4hours withotu a bf as regular feeding would help to establish bf and he was on the smaller side so would help to keep his weight from dropping too low, so u can imagine my horror when i woke at 6.15, i was terrified i'd get to the crib and he'd be not breathing or something, i went over to him, phew, he was fine just having a good ol sleep, i did try to get him to latch but he was so sleepy i left him another hour when he then woke, starving! it really did scare me half to death tho, my immediate thought when i woke and he was still soundo was that something was wrong, thankfully it wsn't, he didn't do taht again until he was 6weeks when he slept in 6 hour (11pm-5am) blocks through the night (all of his own accord) and started sleeping from 9-7 at 14weeks, from 6months he slept 13hours. i never once read any sort of parenting 'manual', not baby whisperer nor gina ford. i simply followed what ds wanted, tbh the first 3 weeks my mind was in no fit state to grasp any sort of routine or plan anyway, at 3 weeks we started to offer a 'bedtime' ff feed, always around 9pm, would give him abath or top and tail then upstairs in the moses, not because i expected him to sleep, but because i thought it would eventually lead to him recognising when bedtime was, he wouldn't cry, but he would fuss, so i'd be up and down every 5-10minutes, just to check he was ok and let him know i was there. he gradually got himself into a regular feeding pattern where i could then pre epmt when he would be hungry or neep a nap, because it always worked out roughly the same time each day, but this was him doing it for himself. i wouldn't dash t him the minute he started fussing, but i would go if he was crying, which i felt was a happy medium taht worked for us....anyhoo my point is, not to worry about reading what books, baby will find hs or her own routine, as long as u don't fight against that natural routine and go with it u will get a lovely routine that works well for the both of u, which is far as i can tell, has to be far less stressful than wondering if ur doing it right because the book says so and so (which 90% of mums i know who have followed one of the books has felt like). above all enjjoy those first weeks with ur lo, sleep when u can, get out when u can and accept any offers of help thta come ur way xx
I agree with emilyb - I didn't think GF was about CC either?? Her routine made *me* cry, but that's a whole other matter!
One thing I found difficult with GF (and other routines) is that they may say 'if your baby is hubgry before his next feed is due, then feed him', but they *don't* tell you how to go about getting the routine back on track if this happens. Or if your baby wont nap at the set time, so is then too sleepy to take his next feed - what do you do?? I encountered these problems and because there was no advice about what to do, it made me feel really stressed (when I was stressed enough already!)
Adam has only recently found his own routine really (at around 3 months), but it has been thrown totally off kilter these past two weeks by the blasted rotavirus. Again, the routine books don't offer much comfort/encouragement about what to do when your LO is ill.
Replies
Thankfully (I think) he has decided not to do it again since!
My lo slept about 4-5 hrs from birth at night and then went on to sleep at least 8 hrs from about 5 weeks. A baby will wake you up if they are hungry, I personally wouldnt wake a sleeping baby at night. Babies are clever little things and are not slow in letting you know they aren't happy.
Take care and do what works for you!
L and Emily (13+1)
I did read GF but from that took two pieces of advice that I wish I'd had earlier. One was to feed him every 3 hours in the day and the other was that if he didn't nap well and get enough sleep in the day, he wouldn't sleep at night. As soon as he started having feeds every 3 hours and a good amount of sleep in the day, he was a different baby.
No book is going to tell you evxactly how to deal with your baby, they're babies not machines, but if you can read it and it helps you to find out a bit more about what your baby needs throughout the day, I say go for it.
Em x x x
Just one thing: please don't get so hung up on trying to make baby do x y z as dictated by someone who has never met your baby that you stress yourself out. It might work brilliantly for you, but if it doesn't then don't give it a second thought.
I made the comment about my son not yet sleeping through to highlight the fact that these books are not miracles and that your baby will add his own take onto any routine you try to impose, but apparently it as taken to mean that I see my son as an inconvenience because he won't sleep for 13 hours...uh...no...not the case.
So sorry to the lady who started this post for hijacking it with my oh so controversial belief in what I'm told by a healthcare professional.
This is the first time I have wondered whether this forum is worth it. Opinions welcome, but talk with your intelligence and don't make judgements on things you have no knowledge, evidence or understanding of.
Oh, and I was born 11lbs 4oz and my sister was 10lbs 6oz. She slept through fron 3 weeks (10 hours) and I slept through from 4 weeks (9-11 hours)...supports the theory.
In the end I went to a book shop, flicked through all the 'routine' books, and bought the one which most closely reflected what I was doing anyway (The Sensational Baby Sleep Plan). I felt much better afterwards! Evan so, I have since had to hide that one away, as it said Adam should have been sleeping through since week 8 - it's now week 14 and he's only done it three times!
I actually wish I'd read fewer baby books when I was pregnant, so I'd feel pleasantly surprised at Adam's progress rather than constantly beating myslef up that he is not sleeping through/self settling/reciting his ABCs etc...
I sometimes feel like I missed out on enjoying Adam's early days. I was so worried about what we 'should' be doing that I forgot to relax and enjoy what we *were* doing.
xx
All I would say is even if you do have a routine, be prepared for it to change as your baby grows/progresses/encounters problems. The best thing I have ever done is learn to except that just because I thought I'd cracked something one day, it might not be the same the next, teething, hot weather and a cows milk allergy have all put paid to that.
A good bath and bed routine is helpful, very relaxing for your baby ad also lovely for you, I used to BF DS in the bath! However, again be prepared to be flexiable I have recently moved DS's bedtime forward by 40 mins and it's made a world of differance to him.
Also, mat leave goes in a flash, make sure you enjoy it fully and if that means not worrying too much about a routine then go with it!
PS meant to say, I understand about not having family nearby and my husband also works away in the week...I have found the best thing is not to get to stressed about getting every thing done in the day. I put DS to bed and then have a 40 min blitz of washing, tidying etc and and always a ready meal in the microwave on those nights!
[Modified by: ulrika on May 27, 2010 09:31 AM]
Lucas falls quite naturally into a 3 hour routine during the day, but I recognise this may change.
Too much pressure can make the whole family miserable, but dome people need routine to feel in control...each to their own.
We have been very lucky and Benjamin has fallen into his own routine - he is now 7.5 weeks and by 6 weeks he was sleeping for 12 hours, waking either once or twice, although I know this could all change. BTW, I double checked this with 2 HVs and both said as his weight gain was so good (and he was an average sized baby - 7lbs 6.5oz - gained 3lbs by 6 weeks) this wasn't a problem as long as he is feeding regularly through the day.
As the other ladies have said, cherish all your time together, being a mother is the most amazing job in the world,
xxx
Please don't think it's all CC and being mean, it's not. It's a starting point. If your baby doesn't 'fit' into a routine, don't force it. But it is helpful to find out more about the needs of your baby from someone who has had loads of experience with them, after all, babies can't tell us so someone's got to! x x x
mrs setters, i heartily concur! i remember when ds was but 3 days old and still in the birth centre, we all nodded off to sleep at around midnight, and the midwives had drummed it it into me that not to let him go more than 4hours withotu a bf as regular feeding would help to establish bf and he was on the smaller side so would help to keep his weight from dropping too low, so u can imagine my horror when i woke at 6.15, i was terrified i'd get to the crib and he'd be not breathing or something, i went over to him, phew, he was fine just having a good ol sleep, i did try to get him to latch but he was so sleepy i left him another hour when he then woke, starving! it really did scare me half to death tho, my immediate thought when i woke and he was still soundo was that something was wrong, thankfully it wsn't, he didn't do taht again until he was 6weeks when he slept in 6 hour (11pm-5am) blocks through the night (all of his own accord) and started sleeping from 9-7 at 14weeks, from 6months he slept 13hours. i never once read any sort of parenting 'manual', not baby whisperer nor gina ford. i simply followed what ds wanted, tbh the first 3 weeks my mind was in no fit state to grasp any sort of routine or plan anyway, at 3 weeks we started to offer a 'bedtime' ff feed, always around 9pm, would give him abath or top and tail then upstairs in the moses, not because i expected him to sleep, but because i thought it would eventually lead to him recognising when bedtime was, he wouldn't cry, but he would fuss, so i'd be up and down every 5-10minutes, just to check he was ok and let him know i was there. he gradually got himself into a regular feeding pattern where i could then pre epmt when he would be hungry or neep a nap, because it always worked out roughly the same time each day, but this was him doing it for himself. i wouldn't dash t him the minute he started fussing, but i would go if he was crying, which i felt was a happy medium taht worked for us....anyhoo my point is, not to worry about reading what books, baby will find hs or her own routine, as long as u don't fight against that natural routine and go with it u will get a lovely routine that works well for the both of u, which is far as i can tell, has to be far less stressful than wondering if ur doing it right because the book says so and so (which 90% of mums i know who have followed one of the books has felt like). above all enjjoy those first weeks with ur lo, sleep when u can, get out when u can and accept any offers of help thta come ur way xx
One thing I found difficult with GF (and other routines) is that they may say 'if your baby is hubgry before his next feed is due, then feed him', but they *don't* tell you how to go about getting the routine back on track if this happens. Or if your baby wont nap at the set time, so is then too sleepy to take his next feed - what do you do?? I encountered these problems and because there was no advice about what to do, it made me feel really stressed (when I was stressed enough already!)
Adam has only recently found his own routine really (at around 3 months), but it has been thrown totally off kilter these past two weeks by the blasted rotavirus. Again, the routine books don't offer much comfort/encouragement about what to do when your LO is ill.
Anyway, good luck with whatever you choose
xx