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GINA FORD - Contented Baby

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  • Wow, some heated opinions on here!!
    I just wanted to add what I found.
    As a first time Mum we were discharged from hospital 6 hours after the birth as there were no beds. We didn't have a clue what was going on and had to learn quickly.
    After about 3 weeks of me only getting about 3 hours sleep a night I bought GF. we followed it roughly, but at the beginning it was just too strict but it gave us some good tips that we we didn't know about.
    As he got older he started getting into his own routine but I still refered to Gina sometimes. Such as, we wake him after 45mins from his morning nap so he sleeps for 2 hours at lunchtime.
    I think it helped us, as we didn't know what to do at times! We now have a baby who settles himself to sleep for naps and at bedtime but he didn't sleep through until 6.5 months old!
    I would say about CC, that my health visitor told us to do it at 4 months old, if we were sure there was nothing else wrong with him. We ended up modifying it to the pick up put down method.
    Good luck with your birth and I am sure your baby will settle into there own routine.
  • The only thing that the 'contented baby book ' is useful for is to beat Gina Ford around the head with it... (IMO)

    I have seen the book work for some mums and thats fab. However, I have seen some mums slip into a depression when their baby just won't do what the book says it should be doing. Each baby is unique (all 5 of mine were very different as babies) and therefore how on earth can one book fit all?????

    I am not against routines at all. They are just not for me. Its not nice to criticise others for using GF if it works for them.

    I do agree with one thing and that is getting a bathtime, story and bedtime routine established asap. i have always bathed babies at night, massaged them, read them a story (even newborns) and then fed them and bed. Obviously the bedtime bit does not always go to plan.

    Good Luck with whatever you decide but be flexible and dont ruin those first few weeks with your baby by worrying that you have not expressed, fed baby and ran a marathon by 7am...

    d xx
  • See me personally I have never read any books or any such like, I never really had a routine with my first dd as such our get up time is/was flexible, we eat breakfast before Daddy goes to work at 8.15am in the week and before 9am at weekends, have lunch any time between 11.30am-2pm and eat dinner from 5-7pm (when Daddy gets home which often varies)followed by bath and bed. We fit in playing, napping and going out etc in between. I've never really kept tabs on when DD1 (nearly 2) slept through it happened before 1 yr and that's all I am bothered about! I am doing the same with DD2 who is 3 weeks old- she eats and sleeps as and when and we are doing OK! In return I have a very flexible HAPPY babies- who will sleep where ever when ever, it means I don't have to say "oh I can't go out then because it doesn't fit with their routine" etc!

    Maybe I am too lazy to implement a routine but it works for "my family" and we are all happy with it! I don't think there is a right or wrong way if you want to follow a routine, a self help book etc then that's fine ladies...no judgement should be made by anyone we all after all are good parents to our OWN children.

  • well said ILMG2...

    d x
  • must add that despite saying I hate GF.. I do love her potty training in a week guide.

    Also hate that smug bitch Annabel Karmel but that is another subject..ha ha
  • I haven't read any of the replies as there are just too many. I had the book while I was pregnant and it really put my mind at rest. Then when I had my LO it was entertaining haha. But I personally think that if you find it too hard going and couldn't possibly stick to it, then what I did was get a few ideas from Gina Ford (the amount of time between naps section really helped and the amount of day time sleep needed, although it took a while before she had structured naps in the day for this to be relevant) and also some from The Baby Whisperer and any other baby care books and work around what works best for you and your baby. I did find the Gina Ford weaning book really helpful when putting my LO on solid foods as I think it is good to have a guide of when to introduce foods etc instead of doing it blind, but that may be just me.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do xx


  • Also hate that smug bitch Annabel Karmel but that is another subject..ha ha

    Meh, join my anti-fan club. Fun club activities include regularly emailing her management company to enquire after Annabel's qualifications in the field of nutrition, paediatrics or health (don't expect a reply, they don't like admitting that she hasn't got any).
  • dee-dee and Mrs Setters I'm joining you in the anti-fan club!!

    I too have never read any self help books as they just put too much pressure on new mums!!

    If everything was as easy as they say we'd all have perfect behaving BORING babies!!!!

    being different is what makes the human race special
  • I agree with ILMG2 completely, we have never really been big into routine and as lo has grown up, I've realised more & more that he does what he pleases anyway :lol: He is asleep now which is annoying but he's really tired lol. He will sleep anywhere too.

    I don't agree with controlled crying for newborns at all but there's a big difference between controlled crying and putting your newborn down for 5 minutes bc you've tried everything and letting them settle is helpful sometimes. That is not controlled crying...it is calming yourself down and your baby.

    I did do cc with my lo when he was much older (16months) - it worked at first but I wouldnt do it again...I don't think....I dont do it now, he's far too old for it.

    What I dislike about Gina is that she's dead into set times- so can't you go out? Also I don't always want my lunch at 12pm sharp I might want it at 11 or 1, babies are the same aren't they....I DO however agree with creating a good environment for a good sleeper to emerge - having a nice warm bath before bed, then a feed, minimal talking at night, feeding in a dimly lit room at night - and so on

    x

    xxx
  • Hi,

    I'm not about to get into a "whose routine is best" discussion as I believe different things suit different babies and also parents. I've never read Baby Whisperer but thought that Gina was a bit too strict for me although I use it to refer to sometimes.

    I was also determined not to get into an argument about specific things people do but ...

    ....Mrs Setters I think that your fist comment about controlled crying was completely out of order. Your opinion on it is fine as long as it stays just that, you have absolutely no right to criticise someones parenting style in that way. Each parent and child is different and you do what you can in a certain situation to make things better. I have never done controlled crying but there again I've had no need to. I absolutely did not want any of my children to ahve a dummy but I certainly wouldn't criticise other parents for it and when my son had colic a dummy was the only thing that stopped him being in so much pain so he has one and I'd much rather that than see him screaming with his little legs drawn up and his tummy hard as rock.

    Sorry but i think you were completely out of order.
  • Hi OP,

    I was in a similar position. If you can afford it, I would recommend a cleaner, or a 'mothers help' type person who can help with your housework and baby if you so wish. I'm not a clean freak but just for someone else to put some washing on becomes a luxury - all I wanted was to sleep, but things need to be done. Also, I found a nice chinese take-away which delivers and a freezer full of ready meals to be invaluable when OH is away!

    i don't want to go into all the arguments here, but can I just say i had a contented little baby who slept well at night by 12 weeks (not bragging) achieved without the help of Gina Ford - please don't think that it is the only way to get there, that's all. Though the BW is better, in my opinion. Also, if friends, neighbours want to help - they could take LO out for a walk. It's really hard to screw up (any probs can just turn round and come back!), LO usually falls asleep and you get the luxury of chilling out however you choose to in the peace and quiet of your own home. Accept all offers of practical help - if someone else wants to vacuum your lounge or do the washing up, let them! Don't be proud!

    Good luck and hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly.

    K x


  • ....Mrs Setters I think that your fist comment about controlled crying was completely out of order. Your opinion on it is fine as long as it stays just that, you have absolutely no right to criticise someones parenting style in that way. Each parent and child is different and you do what you can in a certain situation to make things better. I have never done controlled crying but there again I've had no need to. I absolutely did not want any of my children to ahve a dummy but I certainly wouldn't criticise other parents for it and when my son had colic a dummy was the only thing that stopped him being in so much pain so he has one and I'd much rather that than see him screaming with his little legs drawn up and his tummy hard as rock.

    Sorry but i think you were completely out of order.

    I don't. We're talking about newborns and tiny babies here. I disagree with CC full stop, but accept that with older babies it's something some parents will employ. When used on a tiny baby, it's nothing short of neglectful. That's my opinion, I don't really care if you disagree.

    [Modified by: MrsSetters on May 27, 2010 05:41 PM]

  • Why are so many anti GF's people on here so aggressive in their opinions?!!! I think every mother on this forum wants the best for their baby, and knows what is best for their baby.

    Let's just agree to differ rather than swing in with an "I know best" attitude whenever GF is mentioned. It's not helpful.

    Back to the OP - I was rubbish. I read no books as I believed as stated above I'd know what was best for my baby and I did. I found just keeping my head above water difficult for the first 6 weeks as you seems to have micro days of 4 hours - we fed, slept for 2 hours on me/daddy, settled for about an hour on her own and woke up. The sleep deprivation meant I couldn't have a routine for myself let alone the LO! My LO was sleeping through 12 hours at 11 weeks bless her, the only help from us was feeding on demand and a bedtime routine from 6 weeks.

    You'll be fine, I promise. When you get over the shock image x x
  • Sorry Mrs Setters, point taken. I hope one day someone tells you that basically you are an awaful parent for something you've done see how you like it!!!
  • I just wanted to add about Annabel Karmel...saw her at the baby show and quite frankly she looks like she could do with a good hearty meal.
    Its hard to take advice from someone who looks like they don't eat themselves.

    Sorry for going off topic.
    As for GF, i decided not to follow any routines and am so pleased we did that. LO is happy and healthy and has slept through the night once in 6 months.....why is everyone obessesed with babies sleeping through the night anyway?

    MJx
  • Oh, I get told that all the time. That I'm making my children dependent, or clingy, or over-attached, that I'm 'making a rod for my own back', that my plans for natural term breastfeeding are 'disgusting', 'gross' and borderline abusive; that I'm depriving my children of structure and will make them anxious because they don't know what's coming next. It's seemingly acceptable to repeatedly bash 'alternative' parenting, but god forbid we should diss anyone who adheres to the Word Of Gina, it's handbags at dawn.

    So yes, I get my share of disapproval. However, if I ever start advocating that new parents should dump their newborn in a moses basket and allow it to cry itself to sleep, I give you all permission to bypass the criticism and actually drive to my house and hit me with a brick. Does the courage of my convictions mollify you or am I still a devil woman for daring to suggest that 'controlled' crying applied to a brand new baby is the world's shittiest idea?

    [Modified by: MrsSetters on May 27, 2010 08:03 PM]

  • Gina Ford does not advocate cc before 6 months! I'm with EmilyB's comments. If you haven't read they book and don't understand it then forget it. As I said before each to their own and think we would all be better just appreciating the hard work we all do. I couldn't just read this as GF gets some really bad press when she actually never advocates baby being left to cry. Remember to take everything you read from whoever with a pinch of salt. x
  • Mrsa111 - I saw her at a baby show too...she had the MOST boring voice, and yes she's skinny and was wearing totally inappropriate clothes. My opinion of her totally changed, for the worse.
  • It's 4 years since I read, and subsequently burned, the CLBB, but I distinctly recall her stating that she left very small babies to cry themselves to sleep once they'd been put down for their strictly timed nap; and a quick bit of googling confirms that Gina recommends allowing very young babies to "fuss and yell" for 10-20 minutes after they'd been put down to nap. That's 'controlled' crying. Teeny babies don't know how to manipulate people. They cry because they need something. The idea of a small baby, still bewildered by the transition into the great big outside world, being left to cry alone because it's tired, desperate and confused mother has taken the word of some childless muppet as gospel makes me really REALLY sad.
  • Mrsa111 - I saw her at a baby show too...she had the MOST boring voice, and yes she's skinny and was wearing totally inappropriate clothes. My opinion of her totally changed, for the worse.

    Did you see her on that expose on child ready meals on Panorama, desperately trying to defend the salt/sugar content and misleading pack info on her crappy ready meals? Hilarious. "Well, any educated mum-meh...". Oh, piss off!
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