Laidback lovely or routine Queen??

Hi ladies

Do you and you LO(s) have a routine or do u go with the flow?

When I had my first baby I was determined to have a strict routine - it seemed best for them, but J seemed to fall into routine on his own and after about 8 weeks went through the night at 5 months - practically weaned himself in fact he was textbook! Perfect!

Then when I had Isaac I decided to let him do the same except he had other ideas and I had problems with his feeding/sleeping up until about a year. He is now 2 and sometimes wakes up of a night. Still likes his food soft (not pureed) and to get him to settle himself in a cot it took 5 long moths of battles with him to get him into a routine.

With Tyler im kinda in between. We have a routine but its very loose and so far so good. He still dosnt sleep through every night but he eats well and is a very happy lil man so we've gotta be doing something right!

I just wondered what you do or have tried and how you found it all??

Elaine & boys xx


  • well i had big ideas about following gina ford ..however it was a little regimental for me :lol: we didnt really end up with a routine for jack just went with the flow and he has been a terrible eater and sleeper ...however were a bit more strict with them both now as i feel if im not it all goes horribly wrong and ill have 2 knackered screaming children at 11pm while i sit in the corner rocking :lol: .....i dont believe in strict times for everything as i feel u (parent) feel more stressed out and cant really go anywhere without worrying about breaking their routine ...i believe its good for children to know whats next so giving signals e.g tea ,play ,bath ,STORY ,bed ....bath and story is signaling bed time ...a friend of mine always bathed in the morning so her children didnt associate bed with bath time ....funny when they came over and im looking after them ...i bath them with jack and wonder why their like a pair of loons :lol: xxxxxxx
  • When i first had Oscar we didn't have a routine and it was impossible to get him into one - he would fall asleep on the breast, feed on demand, sometimes for hours, and was very difficult to predict! So we decided just to go with the flow and wait until he was a bit older. He was a good sleeper though so until his sleep started to be affected i decided just to leave him to it. Anyway as he got a bit older he started to fall into a routine by himself, and by the time he was about 4/5 months he was following pretty much the same pattern each day and night, still sleeping well at night. He's also moved his bedtime forwards to 7 himself, without us ever forcing him to bed or trying to instill a 7pm bedtime.

    Now i find that if we fall too much out of routine he becomes quite unhappy, because he won't sleep anywhere except his cot or on the move (in car or buggy if there's not too much to look at), and he isn't a cat napper - he likes his proper naps and won't just fall asleep just anywhere. So i try and plan my days around him. HOWEVER i don't sto myself doing things just to accomodate him - if we have a baby group or music class or i need to be somewhere and it falls in one of his nap times then i get him up and we go - otherwise we would have no life and be very isolated and bored!

    We do have abit of a routine in the evenings now he's having tea, we have food, bath, playtime, boob and bed more or less every night, but if we're out or it gets messed up it doesn't affect him at all which is fab. xxx
  • I thought I'd be a routine type person but with so much going on after lo was born (xmas was 3 weeks after his birth and travelling around) we didn't do much or a routine but we do do the same things at bedtime (even if he didn't sleep due to colic) and it has paid off so far. He was even crying for his bath last night as he was tired.

    Conversely I like the flexibility of the days most of the time as I can take him out pretty much anywhere without having to head home coz he needs a sleep in his cot.

    I think in the first year that providing you are at home it's best toflexibile and in the end if they like routine they will let you know about it!!! Once you're back at work I think a routine will become much more vital.
  • I'm a routine queen!! Although I am also a master at making what I want to do fit round their routine, or vice versa. Being older Millie is pretty flexible but Barney is an awkward little sod who will only sleep properly in his cot, although he will nap in the car or pushchair if he's very tired, and if he doesn't get his sleep in the day he is horrible, grumpy, high maintainance little monster!
    When Millie was tiny I was very go with the flow but by the time she got to 7 months I was desperate for some proper sleep so I got her into a routine, she was almost imediately a much happier, more settled baby. Barney was fed on demand to start with untill it became clear that left to his own devices he wouldn't nap AT ALL during the day but just get increasingly wound up an screamy. He also seemed to think it was a good idea not to feed much during the day when he might miss interesting stuff but to feed at night instead so I had to introduce a strict feed routine for him. Like Millie he was much happier once he had a proper routine so we've stuck with it.
  • Routine with the three of the i find it help as there is always things on and places i have to be so its better to know whats happening when so i can fit the other stuff in around it all.
  • A bit of both really. Gabe got himself into his own routine early on and slept through very early. He's been a fairly textbook baby and settles well, but I am flexible with his routine - luckily he always sleeps well in his pushchair xx
  • We have a loose routine. Frankie gets up around 8, has meals/bottles at set times (she goes mad at 3pm for yogurt so i dont get a choice!). She gets in to pjs at 7, bottle at 8 and bed at 8.30. I let her cat nap during the day but now im 2 months off going back to work i think i will try to have more structured day naps. She will sleep anywhere though chair, car, playmat, pram, at baby group - if she is tired she is tired!
  • I'm a 'laidback lovely'.

    I've always let Louise settle into her own routine, things effect it like growth spurts, being poorly, weaning and she does settle into a routine that seems to suit us both.

    We do though tend to do the same things in the same order in the morning and evening.

    We went to the park yesterday with a couple of other mums and babies, one had to leave in time to get home to give lo lunch whereas I just gave my lo a snack while I sat and had a drink. I'd much rather be more flexible and not get a grumpy baby if i'm not home at certain times.

    We go out and about most days and it definately works best for us to have a flexible routine. I can encourage Louise to have an early bf, she can wait longer if occupied and is happy cat-napping while travelling somedays though will have 2 good naps if at home.
  • Routine Queen without a doubt. Now its not even a case of the children liking to know what comes next but me!!!!!! lol I need routine to plan my days with the 3 of them so that Madison isnt looking fed when I'm trying to get Amy & Zara their lunch & so far so good. Madison is in the sling at the minute coz shes a bit unsettled but not due fed til 5pm. Thank goodness for slings!!!!!!
  • bit of both. Each day meal times and bedtime are all at roughly same time etc. But each day is different in that we are out and about doing stuff and he sleeps in his pram or the car. Morning nap and late aft nap almost always at home though.
    Bedtime routine hasn't been missed in months so bit nervous about what would happen if we went out for dinner etc and missed it.
    Mind you he has changed his routine a few times and we always seem to go with te flow so I don't think we are too restricted in general. We'll see when I go back to work and it all goes out the window! S x
  • When I had my first it was routine all the way for me, my mum told me it was best as did my mil, same with no 2, however with no3 and 4 I decided to go with the flow and definitely think I had happier and more relaxed babies as a result, we always had bath feed bed from day one but not always at the same time, have to say that eventually after a few months they got into their own routines anyway and that worked for us.
  • Routine all the way for me. Didn't really have one until Charlotte was about 12 weeks old, then we all fell into a good routine and that's how it's been since. like Katie said though, if i have to go out I can bend her routine and everything's ok.
    If we ever stay at pil's i keep to the routine no matter what! I like everything to be organised and perfect (comes from being a Virgo)!!
  • a bit of both Jamie is 7 months and we have a bedtime routine bath at 7.30 sleep by 8pm but thats it. The day is pretty mush go with the flow. I think it works hes a really happy little baby and eats well and although not going through the night. When he wakes in the night which is only twice he goes stright back to sleep after a little feed. xx
  • We have a bedtime routine which works well - change and feed with low lights and soft music in her nursery at 7pm, and down she goes. She started falling into a deep sleep in my arms at about this time aged 8 weeks, so I followed her lead and made this official bedtime.

    Other than that we go with the flow - feeding on demand and napping when she shows signs of being tired (though getting her to nap is usually a bit of a battle, tbh). I can't imagine doing it any other way as I like to be able to get out and about and wouldn't want to arrange our day around naps and feeds.
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