how do i get her to sleep!

My lttle girl is 3 weeks today and her body clock is way out of sync. She tends to wake up at 11pm until 4am then sleeps all day! We have tried to keep her awake in the day but they say if a baby needs to sleep nothing will wake them and that is true as we have tried everything to keep her awake in the day. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas of what we could do?
Thanks
xx

Posts

  • have you tried just ignoring her in the night? both mine fell into a nighttime routine pretty quick and i think it was mainly down to keeping the lights low or off completely between 11pm-7am and only acknowledging them if it was feeding time. they soon just fell into the routine pretty quick, even though phoebe probably slept about 20hours a day for the first few weeks!x
  • My DS wanted to sleep a lot in the day but we implemented the baby whisperer routine and in a few days our days and nights were transformed! It is the EASY routine, they Eat, have an Activity (at 3 weeks this is low key and we found an olive oil massage was great, or some music playing whilst they lay on the play gym, and in the evening a bath was brilliant as he wake up completely and have a kick in the water) they then Sleep and You have some time to get on with jobs/resting etc.
    My LO was really hard to keep awake but just doing half an hour activity after each feed made a huge difference. As Sophie+archie said keep the night times very dark and no noise, and i hope that in a few days your LO will have changed her body clock and you will get some much needed rest!
  • I personally wouldn't ignore a new baby during the night if it is crying.I think its just one of those storms you have to weather with a new baby. Jason is 6 and a half weeks and we have turned a big corner with him in the last couple of weeks. We aways observed bedtimes with the lights out or a soft lamp and whispers and he has got the hang of things himself. A bath before bed also helps. x
  • Babies take time to get to know what day and night are. Some do it quicker thanothers. Personally, I would never ignore a baby, I couldnt it would be too upsetting for me and them! A bedtime routine is a good idea...think simply, how do you know whether it is day or night?!

    Em x
  • also my HV told me that because of the hormone in BM milk being higher in the nightime (the prolactin apparently) babies are initally programmed to be awake more at night... if you BF this drive continues but if you FF it eventually wears off... according to HV anyway!
  • Firstly I don't think Sophie+Archie meant ignore the baby when it was crying, but minimal interaction during these hours meant for us certainly that LO soon realized that nighttime was for sleeping not playing. When we were getting her used to the day/night situ, we'd make sure that she was put to sleep downstairs with tv etc on and if it woke her I didn't worry too much she soon dropped off again. Now we have a bedtime routine, She's bathed, fed & normally asleep by half 7/8ish and sleeps through until 4/5/6am. She's 10 weeks by the way, but we started bed routine at 4 weeks, she was put to bed in Moses in our room in the evenings when we stayed downstairs, and from a very young age would only wake once in the night. Putting her in a routine was the beat thing we did.
    Good luck xxx
  • She is very young , I THINK it is around 4-6 weeks their body clocks get into a slight routine, in the mean time all you can really do is keep everything quiet calm and dark at night. I would never not feed a baby this young in the night as they do need it.
    You could try a relaxing bed time routine maybe? She is probably a bit young to notice it however it gradually should help her know that bed time is coming.
    I think babies of that age should only really be able to stay awake for 1 and a half hours so after this long try focusing on getting her to sleep.
    My advice can't be too great however as my little one is 5 months old tomorrow and is still waking at 10,1 3 and 5 some nights. I think you should try and accept that for the forseeable future you may well be up quiet a bit in the night. As far as I am aware babies just are meant to wake up they aren't really designed to go to sleep for a whole night until they are much bigger.
    It absolutely sucks when you are tired and exhausted ad I totally sympathise! Just relax when you can and take it easy and best of luck x


  • "have you tried just ignoring her in the night?"

    Or pop her in the car seat in the car and go back to bed for more lovely zzz

    Horrifying really!!!!!!!!:roll:


  • "have you tried just ignoring her in the night?"

    Or pop her in the car seat in the car and go back to bed for more lovely zzz

    Horrifying really!!!!!!!!:roll:

    I really think Sophie+Archie meant give minimal interaction and ignore them in the sense of dont play and give stimulation during those hours as opposed to dont meet their needs and ignore them when they are hungry/crying. I think her words were taken too literally in her post and isnt what she was trying to say
  • i think this may be another case of if you have nothing constructive to say dont say anything at all!!
  • oh my god, im actually laughing at how petty some of you really are! thanks pumpkinpie for sticking up for me! like pp said, i think some of you really do take things too literally! when i say 'ignore' i dont actually mean shove them in their rooms and refuse to go in til 7am! really?! you honestly believe any mother could do that? what i meant was i dont stimulate them during the night, i talk softly, phoebe gets cuddles if she cries but when she calms down i put her back to bed, i dont bring her downstairs and make a fuss over her. if she gets woken early in the morning by her brother she comes into bed with me for her last hour and then in the morning when we all get up i do the complete opposite and play with them. i actually think its a shame that people come on here to pick arguments, i dont know if its jealousy that i have a decent nights sleep, or maybe you are just unhappy with your lives in general, but its just sad, especially people like dollywotsit, it really is. maybe you should remember that all this just started with me wanting to give a bit of advice to someone who is having trouble getting their baby to sleep, it is an advice forum after all....

    pathetic.
  • I didn't think you meant ignore her if she was crying. Its just that when my lo was 3 weeks old if he wasn't asleep or eating he was crying which is usual for a very newborn, and I got the impression that this was the problem the op posed rather than just being awake during the night. Sorry if I offended, it was just differing advice.
  • thats ok hun, it wasnt really your reply i was offended by, im all for giving advice, i just think some people set out to be nasty rather than helping the situation, it wasnt aimed at you though..x
  • kk177 your lo is very young and it does take time for them to understand day and night. I would definatley try to keep day times very noisy and bright and cheery with lo in the midst of it, even if asleep. Get out in the daylight even for a short walk - again even if asleep. Then try a clear bedtime routine even if this just includes a cuddle upstairs with dim lights and a song before putting down. I completely agree with sophie+archie in that when baby wakes at night try not to make alot of eye contact and keep voice quiet and soothing, and feed and place back to bed with little disturbance as possible. It will come but as everyone has said its early days xx
  • I second the hormone thing - I have yet to come across someone who's had a baby that knows it's day time in the day and night time in the night! They pretty much all seem to be born with it reversed and over time they sort it out themselves. I think it's a lovely idea to get them used to night time right from the word 'go', with soft lighting and a bath at 'bedtime' even if they are still waking every 3 hours for a feed. You can't wait until they realise it's night time to start acting like it is, to be fair! They'll take their cues from you.

    It's hard, but it's normal. At 3 weeks my little man was still waking every 1.5-2 hours in the night for a feed, then going 4 hour stretches in the day. It wasn't easy, but that's because I was trying to pretend everything was normal - i.e. nothing had changed and it was a breeze being a mother - in the day time too. Just go with your baby and sleep when she sleeps. Your body is programmed to cope on little snaches of sleep at the moment. Once she starts settling into more of her own pattern, go with it. For mine, it was at around 6/7 weeks he started to go the little bit longer between feeds, so I could feed him every 3 hours in the day and he started going longer at night time, almost as if he switched the two because he was eating/doing awake-type things in the day and night time was just me and him in bed having a feed if he woke. There was no loud noises, light or lots of talking, just gentle whispering and straight back to bed. It will happen - please don't worry!

    And no one's suggesting you don't go to a baby in the night, possibly not a great choice of words given the reaction, but I know what you meant sophie+archieimage
  • oooh, also, I just thought - I also tried keeping Jak awake in the day when he was about 3 weeks old because my hubby's cousin (who had a baby 2 weeks older than mine) said that was how she got her daughter to sleep at night. Didn't work, just couldn't keep him awake! It wasn't until he was having regular naps throughout the day that he started to sleep longer at night too. So my 3 hourly routine would be feed, wind, cuddle/activity/play mat, nap, start again. Someone wise once told me they need to get enough sleep to learn how to sleep, iyswim? x
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