Does anyone help??

Hi Girls

Oscar is now 4 months old and I am a bit annoyed with hubby for not helping out, but then I think that maybe I am being unreasonable and just wondered what help you girls recieve with babys from partners/hubbys.

Oscar has not slept for longer tan an hour 5 nights in a row this week so could just be being mean due to exhaustion!!
love very tired Viki and wide awake Oscar xxx


  • Ah Woozle! I can see why your exhausted, god i'd be beating my OH round head with nearest blunt object on that much sleep for just breathing! HEHE

    I have to say my OH helps where he can, i usually get a bit of a lie in on one of weekend days, but its is pretty much up to me to sort my DS at night as he will only settle for me and BF! So OH has perfect excuse!

    See if your OH will take your boy out for a walk round the park for an hour and go back to bed! catch up on some rest, sod the shopping and cleaning a Sane Mummy is much more important!

    PS don't ask your OH, strap son in pram, state plan and then go to bed leaving him no choice! x
  • Thanks Katie, dont get me wrong hubby is good with Oscar but Sundays he goes for breakfast at his dads and both sat and sun goes for bike ride at 7ish. i went upstairs with oscar at 6.30 so feel as if i have been on my own since then. In fairness though he did try and sleep on very uncomfy sofa so as not to disturb us.

    Flirtyfilly love your plan think i will put into action after this feed!! BF also so again prob why i feel like hes not helping cause he cant.

    Just need to sleep ............
    Viki xxx
  • My OH works from home but then gets assignments so can be away for 3 or 4 days. I get assistance throughout the day if he is available and maybe once a week he looks after William completely solo.

    I get lots of help from Oh and I know I'm very lucky because our situation gives us the time that other couples don't have. My Oh is totally in love with our baby that to be honest I have to interrupt so I can have a cuddle sometimes.

    I think men should help out when they can, they made the baby too and it's their responsibility too. Partners should help if only from the viewpoint that the baby didn't grow and live inside them for 9 months, they have bonding to catch up with.
  • I also have a perfect husband (attempting to divert troll from the princess :lol: )

    However I am on here because otherwise I'm going to ring him at work at tear him a new one because I've just found all my Oscar's missing towels and flannels screwed up at the bottom of the wardrobe and all his clothes still screwed up in the wash basket despite telling me he'd tidied up yesterday - on top of not doing the washing up or making the bed. I have no problem him not doing this, just don't tell me you've tidied if you blatantly haven't!!

    Sorry, hijacked your post...

    Anyway, I had to point out that raising our son is a full time job so he was going to have to either do stuff round the house or live with it because I do what I can but I'm not superwoman and our son has ALWAYS come first. Housework will be there forever but he'll only be this young once and I'm not missing it.

    Try telling your oh something similar.

    Hope you manage to get some rest xxx
  • My OH is a bit hit and miss to be honest! He does a lot re. playing with them, but that means that i have to do all the boring stuff like housework, dinner etc, and feel like i'm missing out. And if i ask then he'll happily watch them while i have a bath or something like that, but i know full well i'll come down to a pigsty, and if i try to say something about it he looks at me like i've gone mad and asks how i expect him to watch the kids and keep the house clean.....Oh, er, i dunno, maybe THE SAME WAY I'M EXPECTED TO!!!!!
    But in other ways he's great. I get to go out once a fortnight with my friends which is a godsend as i really do need the time out, and he's supportive when i have down days etc.
    He can be a complete arse at other times though! Like arranging to do something with me (even somethin silly like get some junk food and watch a dvd together) and then he suddenly decides he needs to do his accounts, or go to the pub with his mates. I think its just men, they sometimes forget to let us know we're important!!
    If i were you hunny i'd be having words about the sleep issue, even if he got up once and gave little one some EBM it would really help you out! You shouldnt have to survive on so little sleep! (says the woman who's husband woke her at 4am on saturday morning and said "your baby is crying") He got a serious telling off for that lol! xxx
  • says the woman who's husband woke her at 4am on saturday morning and said "your baby is crying") He got a serious telling off for that lol! xxx if Dave had said that once this week i would not hyave been responsible for my actions!!
    viki x x
  • Yep, my other half is hit & miss too. He's very good at playing with Gabe and making him laugh, but not so good at everything else!

    Andy works nights so I've never had any help at night or in the mornings which is OK as Gabe's a good sleeper. I occasionally get a lie in at the weekend, and have to admit, if Lo's in a bad mood or poorly, OH is very helpful.

    But most of the time he is useless and whenever I need help with lo he miraculously has 1,000 'important' things to do :roll:

    He looks after him when I'm at work but he won't change a dirty nappy, if lo's pooed then he will hand him straight to his mummy :roll:

    Seriously though hun, think your oh needs a lecture too. You're not being mean!
  • help? whats that? my oh works from home and could quite easily take an hour off and take lacey for me when he sees me juggling cleaning cooking baby nappies etc etc btu i think he CHOOSES not to! well i may be leaving Lacey with him for the day tomorow so maybe it will do him soime good if i do o havent decided yet and make him realize how bloody hard it is! i guarantee it will look like beirut when i come home!
    i hate the well i work all week i need a lay in!! wth, what do i do all week? and its not just 9 till 6 either!! my oh likes to feel the poor hard dponme to one when i ask him to empty the dishwasher! men eh!

    [Modified by: chloe123 on August 30, 2009 11:24 AM]

  • In all honesty, my oh is crap when it comes to generally caring for Riley. But I'm hoping he will get better as he gets older. He's ok when it comes to playing with him or bathing him when he's all happy and smiley, but after 5 or 10 minutes he gets bored.

    I've never had a lie in, he's never done a night feed, he can't get him to sleep, always gets out of changing dirty nappies and has fed him only a handful of times. I can't moan at him though because "he has to work all week"!

    Anyway, not moaning or anything lol just telling you how it is for us!
    I've got to say Riley does sleep for more than an hour at a time at night though so if I were you I'd probably insist that he did more so you can get more sleep.x
  • i'm the lazy one :lol: i work full time though and OH is at home with JJ...i still have to do the washing and tidying when i'm at home but when i get home from work all i do is give JJ some milk and put him to bed! x
  • Matt is generally very good with Lily- but then she is a proper Daddy's girl so hardly ever plays up for him-we are going through a terrible tantrum stage atm and 95% of the time I get them!When she was small I think he was nervous but he definately got over that very quickly. He never gets up when she wakes in the night tho- he says "he doesn't hear her"haha she is 14 months now and so this very rare as she sleeps from 7.30pm-6-6.30am but I did all the night feeds etc and when she wakes up because she has lost her dummy I am the one to get up and find it. To be fair to him tho he does get up with her in the morning, change nappy, give her breakfast and then when comes home he takes on her whole routine, giving her dinner, bathing her, playing with her, milk and then bed. Which means I get to have me time which is always good. Think it is a good balance.I always bare in mind that he works damn hard for us going to work so my job is looking after our little girl so when he takes even the littlest thing off my hands I should be greatful as he doesn't expect me to do any of his work for him now does he.... image xx
  • Hubby's really good too, he was nervous at first but once he got the hang of it he was fine. He gets up with her every morning (except today!) and gives her her milk, then at night we always bath her together and I get her ready for bed while he does her bottle and then gives her the milk. We have a little routine going that works for us, why don't you suggest something similar? Let us know how you get on!
  • Dh was rubbish at first, did no feeds didn't change a nappy then i threatened to move back to my parents (ok a bit over the top but at the time i was struggling). Since then he has tried, because he works i do the morning and last feed when he's at work but on his days of he does them. If he's at home we do Pippa's bath together then we'll take turns to do her feed and story, and i'll do them when he's not home. I do try to let him have a lie in on a sunday, he'll feed pippa then i'll get her up and take her downstairs while he has a nap. Just talk to your oh don't let it get to the stage i was at and threaten to leave as it could have been sorted so much easier.
    He is getting better now pippa is getting older as he loves trying to make her giggle, but he does have a short attention span and gets bored quickly, but i know a lot of men like that lol
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