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'I formula-fed. SO WHAT? Mother and Baby Article

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  • "a shitty leaflet in your hand about how easy and natural bf is, so ofc women try it, presume its not working bc its not perfect so they stop!"

    couldn't agree with this more!!

    the amount of new mum's trying to bf and suddenly get hit by the baby wanting to feed non stop, i had many a panic with ds only to be told it was simply a growth spurt, great, how about pre warning us so we don't think its all going pear shaped! i wish they told the more honest not so nice side of bf that way maybe when its not all nice and perfect and lovely (like so many of us were led to believe) and that baby doesn't jsut know what to do (its a skill that u both need to learn) then maybe we wouldn't think we were 'failing' and want to give up thinking that we weren't doing it right,a nd that infact all those thinsg are normal, it wouldn't be like getting hit in the face by a ton of bricks then when its gets really tough as u'd know that that is whats its supposed ot be like, granted less people may try it, but i reckon a higher percentage of those that do would be bf for longer, and perhpas we'd have a 50/50 at the 6 month marck rather than the comparticely sad 20% (and tahts not just exclusively), especially when u look at sweden where over 70% of babies are still bf at 6 months old.
  • As a BFing mum I do find it quite offensive. Only because I feel she is being quite narrow minded. I have had so much hassle for BFing in public and past 6 months but don't rant and rave about it.

    I have had numerous people leave rooms while I fed my child discreetly but dont fele the need to write a massively irresponsible article and put it out in a public forum.

    I think she is funny in a way but I just feel angry that she may have stopped even one mummy from BFing and that annoys me when its hard enough to get some to even try it. It is hard, your nipples take a battering and its tiring but my daughter is flourishing and I feel in some way BFing is responsible for that.

    xxxx
  • MummyR2B, I too was offended, less by her need to defend herself than by her tone which I found deeply childish. So one busybody had a go at her for formula feeding and she feels the need to imply that breastfeeding mothers are rude, a-sexual and 'creepy' in a public forum? I'm afraid my reaction is 'Oh, grow up!' That is the politics of the schoolyard - except that I hope that I am able raise my children to treat insults with better manners than tit-for-tat name calling!

    Wow, it felt good to get that off my chest! image Seriously though, we all judge each other and, most of all, ourselves far too much. Each and every one of us is doing our best for our children in the choices we make to feed them which are right for us and them as individuals. And I'll leave it at that!
  • THG - glad it wasn't just me. image thought I may have been being a little over sensitive.

    xxxxxx
  • I have had numerous people leave rooms while I fed my child discreetly but dont fele the need to write a massively irresponsible article and put it out in a public forum.

    xxxx

    do you mean me as in putting it out in a public forum? I did it because I think it's nothing but a publicity stunt and those women who will buy the magazine just to read it don't have to tbh.
  • princess87, i'm not sure, but i think some people may have been a bit confused as to where the article was published, which was of course in the mother and baby magazine. i'm sure no one was talking about u, and that they are indeed just referring to the author of the article..also perhaps in the quote u've used she means that she wouldn't put her version of the article (had she written one) on a public forum (having not the access to putting it in a magazine, iyswim?) xx
  • No I meant the actual article in the magazine not you putting it on here hun. Def have no problem with that and you bringing it to peoples attention plus we all love a good debate on here image xxxx
  • Completely aside from the irresponsibility of publishing erroneous and derogatory information about breastfeeding, it's so poorly written that I find it laughable that this woman has reached a deputy editior post. It's sloppy, lazy, crappy journalism.
  • I couldn't help but wonder why she comes across as so defensive if she is indeed so happy with her decision to ff?
    It did cross my mind that the reason she feels the need to rubbish bf is that she secretly isn't entirely sure that she did make the right choice.
    Even if not, there was no need for her to make derogatory comments - a decent writer would have been able to explain her choices without resorting to those kinds of tactics.
    More fuel for the 'us vs them' mentality which has a lot to answer for. We're all mothers, surely we should be on the same side?
  • MrsC06 I totally agree! image
  • I can see why she has written the article in the way she has - to get a reaction and promote discussion. I agree that everyone has a choice about whether they ff or bf their own baby and shouldn't be judged for their decision, and this is what she is trying to say in her article.

    I think she has written her article in part in response to the way that bf is promoted by the NHS maternity services, which at times can come across as being a bit forceful. I also feel that the NHS misrepresent bf as being easy, when it is not, especially at first. Whilst I was pregnant we attended a "feeding" talk as part of the NHS ante-natal classes. It was 90% concentrated on bf and how it was the "best" option. However, there was not one mention of the difficulties that are encountered in the first weeks, and the fact that both mother and baby have to learn how to do it. Further, there was no mention of sore nipples, mastitis etc. She then talked for about 2 minutes on the disadvantages of ff, and did not mention one advantage. We left the talk thinking that bf was going to be a breeze and that you would be a bad mother if you chose to ff.

    I'm bf my 8 week old daughter, and have done since birth. It took us several weeks to learn how to latch on, and still now it is not perfect 100% of the time. I've had engorgement, sore nipples, cracked nipples, mastitis and days where I've done nothing but feed her but have carried on because my mother and husband have supported me and encouraged me to continue, and I want to do it. Without that support there is no doubt that I would have seriously considered switching to formula, but would have regretted that decision (I'm not in any way rubbishing those who ff with this comment). I know I'm very lucky as a lot of people don't have that support.

    I guess the purpose of my epic post is really to say that the NHS should be more open and honest about bf and how difficult it can be, and then mothers wouldn't feel like they can't do it (because with the right teaching and support most can), or they are failures when they have problems. It might also encourage mothers not to give up at the first difficulty, and to persevere. That might improve the bf rates in this country, which is the aim of the NHS promotions. They should also discuss ff in a less negative light which would mean that people who chose to ff would not feel they have to justify their decision, and then maybe Katheryn Blundell would not have felt the need to write the article in the way she did.

    As an aside, I feel she does no favours to those who ff, or those who bottle feed ebm in public (which I do on occasions). If anything, they will be judged more as people may look at them and think that they "couldn't be fagged" to bf.
  • dont see anything wrong with her writing this article, people all just need to chill out and stop acting so high and mighty about their decisions and pressuring other people to do things that arent right for them. Then maybe this woman wouldnt have felt the need to write this article, and bfing mums wouldnt feel the need to get militant about bfing in public. just live and let live ladies! There is enough to worry about with parenting without being made to feel a criminal for your choices.
  • I find it quite a refreshing read - interesting to hear an 'honest' article on the matter. Not to say I agree with it but it is honest.

    I dont think I have one mummy friend who hasnt given an nervous excuse as to why they stopped Bf'ing.

    I was 100% anti bf'ing the thought freaked me out......for sexual reasons I just couldnt understand how they could then be food for my child. I even went to BF group and asked the councellor that I wanted to try it as I know it was best but I had mental blocks that were bothering me. She replied 'well just get over it'. Soooo unhelpful. Another reason I didnt like BFing as when I was about 12 we were eating xmas dinner and my aunt was feeding at the dinner table (which is fine) then my 5 year old cousin walked over, got the other boob out and had some milk. Maybe as it was not done discreetly and I didnt really understand it, I didnt like it and always had this notion that BF was all about getting boobs out wherever whenever....

    However after having LO I 100% changed my view on it, he was a master latcher oner, put loads of weight on, and we worked well together.

    I stopped at 4 weeks.....NOW if someone asks me and I feel embarassed I stopped I always say 'oh I got mastitis (which is true) and my inlaws stayed and I felt awkward'

    The truth - I tried it, I am pleased I gave it a go and was proud I did. I wanted to bottle feed from there on, mainly so others could feed LO without the effort of expressing. I couldnt bring myself to bf in public so this hindered me. Next baby I will do it for longer and be more confident.

    I know BFing is natural etc (I am v pro bfing now) but dont care if someone doesnt. Just like giving birth with no drugs is natural (everywoman in africa manages it) - yet we take pain relief in the UK and dont feel we need to justify ourselves. I am not saying I am anti pain relief, I didnt have any (not though choice) and want everything they can offer me next time.

    BUT I dont question women who had an epidural 'why did you not go natural' - I really dont care.

    So as for the article, I can see where this woman is coming from as I was once her.....however I did try bfing and loved it and can now see the otherside of it all. Maybe I am lucky to be able to read it objectively and see both sides of the argument.

  • I didn't find the article shocking, but I agree she sounds defensive and doesn't put forward a case for FF. I think there are loads of reasons to argue in defence of FF feeding, but I don't think she gives any. 'I couldn't be fagged' isn't a great reason!

  • By the way, a couple of other forums I lurk on have also had discussions on the article, and the reaction has been incredible. People are furious about it! Interesting that BabyExpert is a bit more pro-FF than other forums? Just an observation.
  • I read the article in the magazine a couple of weeks ago ( I only bought this issue to see if they had the balls to publish a letter I wrote them a few weeks before re the NHS being a free sevice annoyingly it was in a sealed bag so I couldn't just flick through it). I thought it was a load of tat written by a moron.

    If anything she gives FF a bad name. I didn't find it at all funny because you could see how she was clearly trying to BE funny.

    On a slight tangent, when I was preganant I found the preg/baby mags really intresting but now all I do is find flaws, e.g. this months prima baby states babys don't cry tears until about 4 months old, my baby cried them from birth. It also says you will fall instantly in love with your baby, again wrong in my case its been a gradual thing nothing instant about it.

  • I think the woman has some serious issues!

    I think her article was highly irresponsible for a national parenting magazine and was an attack on those who BF.

    I think she has a serious case of 'FF guilt' and her reasons for not wanting to BF are weak, lame and selfish.

    I am sure my opinion won't be popular but I don't mind!

  • what is amusing to see is that 90% of the members of the askamum website (mother and baby mags site) and the ask a mum facebook page are all horrified and offended by this article, a lot of ffs are saying she's done them no favours by claiming she couldnt be fagged or wanted to drink because now they were worried that people would think thats all they could think about when in fact it was entirely diferent and they were already feeling like poo for having to stop bf for personal reason...

    I used to buy this mag every month, am tempted to buy it for another month or two to see what kind of letters they print about the article - you can be sure they wont print the ones who say they dont agree with it:lol: But to be honest I'm not sure this is a mag for me anymore- its clearly not supportive of bf nor ff, and just fuels the unfortunate divide between the two.

    Its an irresponsible article, maybe she tried humour, but it didnt work on me.

    (and i am inclined to agree with the others - if she was so secure in her decision not to bf why do this? Its very defensive)

  • Ooh just read it, I don't like the way she has put it across, I agree with the points she is making for sure, but I don't like the way she has worded it in the slightest. Plus is she not one of the Editors of the magazine or the deputy Editor? I don't think her tone in the article is appropriate given her position within the magazine and the magazine that it is being published in.
    I can see why her article could offend both breastfeeding and formula feeding mummies.
    I personally am not offended because it's my choice, and if a woman in a park had been that rude to me I would have chased her down the street! Lol
  • Ha ha Nattynik I agree with you!

    This is the Daily Mail's take on it:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1290442/BEL-MOONEY-How-sad-mothers-seen-sex-objects-breastfeed-child.html

    And it's surprisingly feminist! An interesting read.

    xx
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