'I formula-fed. SO WHAT? Mother and Baby Article

ok so I bought mother and baby today and have read the article. I thought I would post it here for those who wanted to have a sneak peak:

' I forumla-fed. SO WHAT? You can keep your soggy breast pads, says Kathryn Blundell. Giving your baby formula milk is nothing to be ashamed of'

It's right up there with a drug free brith as the rite of passage that proved you're all woman and a good mother. Breastfeeding: the most natural thing in the world. But what if, like me, you don't really fancy it?
For some forumla feeders, 'not really fancying it' translates to 'concelaing the fact I'm using a bottle'. So visits from halth visitors are pre-empted by the scrabble to hide the steriliser under the sink. 'What, oh that bottle. I've been expressing so Dave can give feeds.' Hmm. But why the shame? Sure, breastmilk has the edge over infant forumla -it's free, it doesn't need heating up and you can whip up a feed in the middle of the night without having to get out of bed. Then there are all the studies that show it reduces the risk of breast cancer for you, and stomach upsets and allergies for your baby. But even then the convenience and supposed health benefits of breastmilk couldn't induce me to stick my nipple in a bawling baby's mouth.

After nine months of denial, lardiness and bad shoes, as soon as the birth was out of the way I wanted my body back (and some wine). Not that I had anything particularly useful to do with my body, except - paradoxically - care for my baby. I also wanted to give my boobs at least a chance to stay on my chest rather than dangling around my stomach, which, after two pregnancies, still has 'tonal' issues of its own.
They're part of my sexuality, too - not just breasts, but fun bags. And when you have that attitude (and I admit I made no attempt to change it), seeing your teeny tiny, innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before feels, well, a little creepy.

I don't think I'm the only one, either - only 52% of mums still breastfeed after six weeks. Ask most of the quitters why they stopped and you'll hear tales of agonising three-hour feeding sessions and -the drama!- bloody nipples. But I often wonder whether many of these women, like me, just couldn't be fagged or felt like getting tipsy once in a while. My reasons for not breastfeeding might not be in the league of 'my boobs are falling off', but they make sense to me and I hope some women can be reassured by my honesty.
I wasn't always so confident about being an out-and-proud forumla fan. I recall one sunny afternoon when, happily feeding my baby in a park, ducks quacking in the distance, a passing stranger - also a mum - asked me whether or not I was breastfeeding. Reeling from the impertinence of such a personal question (and anyway, wasn't the bottle in my hand a give away?) I hesitated to answer. Say 'yes and I'd be a liar. Say 'no' and, from the pursing of her lips and arch of her brow, it was clear I'd be marked as a weak, selfish mum, straight from the Vicky Pollard school of parenting. The clock was ticking. Liar? Bad mum? I plumped for Bad mum. 'you do know your baby will get sick if you give him that poison'. She said flouncing off. Thanks, sister. Great advice.

So, time for a reality check. Forumla milk is not toxic, lacking in nutrients of in any way bad for a baby's health when prepared properly - and we can all read the back of a packet for instructions. No, its not A-grade, but neither is it powdered scum that will turn my baby into an anemic ball of flab with a life expectancy of three. Nor is the fact my baby suckles on silicone rather than skin going to give him a mental illness or mean we don't bond That's just ridiculous. The Milk Mafia can keep their guild trips. Bullying other mums about something as special and nurturing as feeding their babies (and yes, bottle feeding can be lovely and intimate) is a depth even Vicky Pollard would't sink to. So let's hear it, ladies, for modern nutritional science, but most of all for our freedom of choice.

I personally get WHY she wrote it, but I think she went about it the wrong way...what do we all think?



  • She seems very defensive! I have FF since Adam was 4 weeks old. I don't feel the need to justify or defend what I have done to anyone other than myself! image

  • I think its really good! I tried to feed and couldn't - but the looks and remarks I used to get - were and are still horrible - and yes I still feel guity for something that was partically out of my control, my children were losing weight and needed milk that they couldnt get from me!

  • Haha, this made me laugh out loud. Good on her.
  • I read this as i always buy the magazines,lol.
    I get why she wrote it and I also think it was about time someone did say -its my choice, i dont want to, and thats taht.
  • I am a bf'er and I do think the article is written in completely the wrong tone. I get her point, I agree with some of what she says but she's writing in a parenting magazine and she sounds like a teenager. I just think its a bit irresponsible that's all, to paraphrase what I read on the same subject elsewhere, if she's made just one person reconsider their decision to bf then she's done no good.
    I also think its a huge pr stunt personally!
  • eh thanks v much for the generalisation there. im a bf mummy anf i also think fair play to her its her baby she can do what she wants. I think she has went about it in a humerous way and like some one has said is probably sick of being judged, if the story about the woman in the park is true then that is pathetic the woman had no reason to make that comment to her but some people have nothing better to do lol

    im too busy with my ds's to be worried about commenting and judging strangers i'd rather concentrate on my own kids!!!!!
  • I dont think she really sounds like a teenager and i think thats possibly very insulting to any teenage mums out there to sterotype like that (i'm not a teenager)
    I think she's just being honest. So many people I know formula fed because they wanted to but constantly felt when questioned by BF mums that they had to justify themselves. Why cant you just say because it was my choice and it doesnt matter what you think as long as my baby is halthy.
  • I think the word "creepy" shouldn't have been used at all.

    ff isnt creepy - in fact its seen as the norm, so why the hell should bf be seen as creepy? And if she has made one person turn away from trying to bf because of it then yes, it has done some harm.

    She might be being honest, but she has written it in a way that I feel is purposefully derogatory towards bf, when she could have simply said its my choice, beggar off.

    there was a discussion about this on a different site I use and 99% of the members thought it was written in the wrong way (and most of them were FF!)

    Anyhoo, I hope I haven't disappointed in my reply Emma? image
    (How are the little men? and congrats on the pregnancy image Hope you're keeping well?)

  • I think she is being really funny, good on her. I don't think that she took the article too seriously and there is quite a lot of humour in there.
  • lol rosapenny i think the norn iron sense of humour is repsonsible for our replies lol
  • Oh my, I certainly didn't mean it as an insult to teenage mums, so lets rephrase, in my opinion she sounds very immature and her tone in this article would be more suited to Zoo or Nuts magazine. I dont disagree with some of what she says, and I dont disagree that she's not doing it with humour I just think this is not the right audience to vent these views especially from someone with a position of authority.

    So why didn't she simply say because it was my choice? Why did she have to list all manner of reasons to justify her decision which leaves her open to more criticism?
    Still fully expect to see her on the GMTV or This Morning sofa soon, wonder how many extra copies M&B has sold because of this?

  • lol moonbean I think it is too!! we tend to have that sarcastic edge to humour so find things like this pretty funny!! :lol:
  • Thanks chubs113, I do agree, bits of it do seem immature and it probably is a PR thing, Possibly for the magazne too,

    I thought bits of it were funny too though and the reason she listed reasons and didnt say it was my choice was probably to get folk like us discussing it and to cause a bit of shock too!
  • i think its a good article but mabe she could have removed creepy for a better word?
  • if she's made just one person reconsider their decision to bf then she's done no good

    This is the crux of it for me - the irresponsibility.

    I suppose the idea is not to rubbish bf, but to offer reassurance to those mummies who feel guilty or defensive about ffeeding and reassure them that they shouldn't. However, she just sounds immature and selfish, banging on about her boobs and wanting a drink.

    I said this in another thread but I think she comes across as a right prat.
  • i get why she worte it, as a mum who mixfed i recieved flack form both sides but i don't think a parenting magazine is the place to slag off eitehr form of feeding. its not done anything for the image of bf and could quite likely turn yet more mums away from it, bf numbers are so so very low in this country as it is and i think dergoatory comments about it should certainly not be placed in a parenting mag. i also agree the word 'creepy' should not have been used at all, i've heard it far too much and on one occasion that word made me feel like i was a bad mum for bf. i iwsh she had done an article on both sides of the coin, the flack that both feeding types get and how its rubbish that anyone is judged for anyway of feeding, but to portray bf in such a negative light was just, well, a little idiotic imo. if anyone published an article on ff saying that ff'ers were bullies, milk nazi's etc etc then there would be jsut as much upset by that, so to say no doubt the bf mums will be defensive, of course they would be, as would ff mums, which by the fact she's written this article in the first place proves, she's written it as a defnse, but in doing so she's belittled breast feeding.

    fair anough she's entitled to her personal opinion, but its not her 'perosnal' opinion when she's published it in a national parenting magazine, of which she is a figure head! this article could be quite influential to mums/mums to be who are undecided, which i think could be quite harmful, the bf population will become even more miniscule, when ff is already the most 'preferred' feeding option, this artice can do nothing but reinforce that even more...i know of no other country where the general consensus is that bf ios creppy and that boobs are for sexual gratification. what a perverse nation we must be.
  • if she's made just one person reconsider their decision to bf then she's done no good

    This is the crux of it for me - the irresponsibility.

    I suppose the idea is not to rubbish bf, but to offer reassurance to those mummies who feel guilty or defensive about ffeeding and reassure them that they shouldn't. However, she just sounds immature and selfish, banging on about her boobs and wanting a drink.

    I said this in another thread but I think she comes across as a right prat.

    Completely agree, especially about making herself look like a prat! Of course bfing isn't for everyone, and women should feel free to say so. I just cannot understand why she wrote in such an idiotic manner. Screams of publicity stunt to get herself noticed.

    And just to add my boobs are still on my chest ( maybe an inch lower :lol: ) and hubby thinks they are great fun bags! image

    Cat xxx
  • Someone else posted about this yesterday:


    Just for interest. xx
  • And just to add my boobs are still on my chest ( maybe an inch lower ) and hubby thinks they are great fun bags!

    mine were never that high to begin with, at least now I have an excuse!

  • I actually agree with PTB, she definitely comes across as a prat for those reasons. HOWEVER

    It's certainly NOT politically correct, but there are lots of articles that aren't. Any fans of Jeremy clarkson will have heard him laugh in the face of the environment and go on about how smokers are actually doing the government a favour. Lol, he's not politically correct, but people still think he's funny.

    I think the word creepy is not nice to use in a sentence with bf and I certainly don't think it is, but it's a conditioned thing to believe, rather than something immature....conditioned by your family, your upbringing, your schooling blablah. I was bought up in a ff family as was my other half & when I was 9 I saw my stepmum bf my brother (I was 9) and I was FREAKED OUT. I actually thought only mothers who couldnt afford milk bf, like in the third world. All my baby dolls had bottles and my family presumably told me milk is from a bottle what was I meant to believe?! Lol, though I'm a fellow ff from birth, it's definitely not for those reasons though, I like to see bf now and it doesn't freak me out at all ,(I'm a bit scared of it to an extent though I admit as scared of sore nipples) BUT I can see why some women are like this.

    As for Vicky pollard, well I feel sorry her lol, maybe she/they werent educated enough?! Not all of us can afford NCT classes! And most midwives just shove a shitty leaflet in your hand about how easy and natural bf is, so ofc women try it, presume its not working bc its not perfect so they stop!
Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions