Honest opinions please?

My MIL creeps me out and I was wondering if I am over-reacting, so could Ihave your opinions on what she does.

1 calls Connor HER baby
2 holds him whilst simutainiously nuzzling his face with hers and rubbing her face with his hand
3 shushes us when wespeak if hes asleep
4 tells us what to do with him, eg dont sit him like that put him in the chair (she bought lots of nursery stuff for her house)
5 demands tohold him when we are
6 on one occasion when i was breastfeeding him sat next to me and tried stroking his cheeks

is this odd or are some people like this, it freaks me out!



  • my mil call our (as in me and hubby) unborn baby 'our' baby!!!!!

    keeps going on about cant wait to hold it.
    tells me how to put it to sleep in cot.
    etc etc!!!!
  • I wouldnt even like it if my mum called him her baby. So its not unusual then?
  • no6 is definately odd.

    must admit though that i call neighbours baby my baby,lol
  • It is a bit freaky! I think that some mils are like that, they just want to get very involved. But no 2 and no 6 would definitely be going too far. And I wouldn't like to hear anyone else calling my lo theirs!
  • Why are no.2 and no.6 weird (OK I bottle fed tho if I bf I might not appreciate my mils hands so near my naked boob lol)??

    Seriously, my mil loves Gabe to bits. She snuggles him, gives him sloppy kisses & rocks him to sleep when he is fighting it. What's wrong with that?? I'm pleased that other people are cuddly and affectionate with him...

    Having said that he's your baby and it would definitely annoy me if she told me what to do with Gabe. She knows that if she does, I'll just do the opposite anyway!

  • I don't think this is odd at all personally speaking! It sounds like your lo has got a very doting grandma!

    My friend is like this with my baby and I know for a fact that she certainly wouldn't want to be taking him home. I'm also like this with babies of my friends as well.

    Maybe it's down to how tactile a person you are (very in my case!) and what you are comfortable with. I would be so happy if my mil or my mum showed even a quarter of as much interest in my lo!xx
  • I think you're right Karen, it possibly seems weird to me because I'm not very tactile, I don't really like hugging and kissing anyone except my oh and my lo!

    I wouldn't like someone being that close when I was bfing, by stroking lo's cheeks they would be getting quite close to my boob! The only time when that would be ok for me would be if it was a mw or bfing counsellor right at the beginning. And I couldn't really say about no 2, it just sounded more intense than I would expect from a grandparent. DIdn't mean to offend anyone, that was just my immediate reaction- but like I say I'm a fairly reserved person.
  • no thats abit freaky, how have you not said anything to her?
    I would have snapped by now!!
  • no thats abit freaky, how have you not said anything to her?
    I would have snapped by now!!
  • LOL unlike me who would move your boobs out the way so I could kiss your lo on it's cheek!!xx
  • Agreed karen, it's not weird at all. Everyone snuggles my lo and kisses him on the mouth! Babies are lovable and thats the way it should be!
  • my mil kisses and snuggles lo, but never when i was breast feeding! lol
  • The stroking the cheek when you were breastfeeding is a bit weird but i dont find the others odd. I suppose it would all depend on if she was nasty or not..

    I know its weird for us when our mils get too close cos they arent our mums but their grandchildren mean as much to them as they do to our mums. Im sure she doesnt mean to freak you out. Maybe one day you will be annoying connors wife and you will realise she didnt mean to annoy you lol
  • I spose I have to deal with it, at the end of the day she is his grandma,but I think Iwill say something bout the 'my baby' thing - that makes me incredibly uncomfortable as does no2. think it may be worse for me because I cant stand her, thats why I wanted your opinions.
  • I think its nice she loves your lo so much, that said no6 would be a bit wierd. My own mum would be ok but would be wierd if it was my mil. I am a little shy about my boobs being on show at the best of times xxx
  • hey,

    I have problems with my mil so can totall y understand where you coming from.

    Yesterday both pil were round and were talking about the fact they wern't looking forward to being grandparents, that they couldn't see what all the fuss was about until she was born.......and I quote "until they got thier girl"

    I had to bite my tongue, they have 2 boys so I can see where they're coming from, BUT, she's MY girl........

    As for the stroking his face while being bf - my mil liked to watch my lo being bf and I found it really odd - I didn't mind my mum as she was there for the birth and she helped me through a difficult time. My mil was really impressed with how I was doing so well with it though - the first time I think she's complemented something i've done!!

    I've had my mill snatch my lo from me when she was crying - I was not happy! I can understand her wanting to hold her but not to snatch her.

    And....yes tries to tell us what to do and not to do - including not giving her her dummy because she didn't want her to have one!!! And constantly telling me she needs lots of hats for the cold weather.

    It doesn't creep me out, just really really irritates me!!

    I'm lucky though as my dh usually agrees with me and sees my side, does your oh know how you feel? It helps me to have a moan with him and know it's not my imagination and hormones!!!

    Sorry - just realised i've had my own rant!!!!! Just wanted to let you know your not on your own!

    Lisa (btw I have Louise who is 19 weeks old)
  • Thanks Lisa its good toknow someone feels the same as me. My oh doesnt have a pair when it comes to his mum so ur luckythere
  • I don't think the first 5 are odd, just normal grandparent behaviour. No 6 is a bit much though - a real invasion of space!
  • My mum is a lot different to my mil, I can tell my mum when shes doing something idont like and she accepts it.
    My mil flies off the handle over the tiniest things crying shouting, slamming doors and throwing things, tbh it worries me. how do you talk to someone like that?
Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions