overreacting?? Advice please.

Well basically according to my sil she doesnt get Gabe enough!!

My OH told me this today. He said that she is fed up of me fussing around her when Gabe cries. That's really annoyed me. When Gabe cries and he is on someone else, yes I do go over and take him off them!! I'm his mum & I know best how to comfort him. It's only when he's been crying for a bit tho not at the slightest noise.

It REALLY has irritated me cos she hasnt got kids and I guarantee that when she does she will not always be happy about other people holding hers. If I'm holding someones baby and they want them back I am 100% respectful of that!!

I have argued about this with mil before too. The way I see it yes I am an overprotective mum but I don't care, I'm not gonna listen to him crying with someone else misguidedly comforting when I know what he wants. He's my son not to be handed round like a parcel grrr xx

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  • You're not over-reacting hun. I think your sil is being really rude saying that. Some people don't understand that it's instinct to take your baby back if they cry. Mind you, tell you what, you should leave Gabe with your sil and if he cries loads for her she won't be so keen next time!

    xxx
  • Deffo not overreacting! I hate Harry being passed around... i'm glad he's too big to sit for very long now! And agreed with lea77... just make a point of leaving him and just say something like.. "my poor baby... its just getting you alll in a tizz now!" should be a hint if he's bawling! xxx
  • You are not over reacting at all honey. You do what you feel is right for yourself and Gabe. If you want to (in her words) fuss over him then do so. Its so unfair when you have a baby everyone considers it to be a parcel like you say and to be passed around. You need to stand your ground, and if you sil doesnt like it, then tough!! Gabe is your baby!! You can never ever be to protective of your children. My mil is hinting that she has Kelsie soon (she's 14 months) and there is no way in hell I will ever let that woman have her without me being present! She drinks heavily, has 2 very vicious untrained dogs and a 7 foot fish pond. That to me id a recipe for disaster!! I only go to her house maybe once every 6-8 weeks and thats enough!! Kelsie is never left for a minute with her and I do my best to lock the dogs outside :lol:

    xx
  • I hate other people holding Lily when she just wants her mummy! The worst is the mil. She came for christening last week and when hubby was feeding Lily she pulled up a chair and started grabbing her and talking to her! Lily got upset and hubby gave her to me and the cheeky mil tried to snatch her from hubby as her passed her to me. So Lily got more upset! So mil upset her twice and then had the cheek to say to hubby she doesn't like it when we don't let her hold Lily!!!! ARGH! No wonder I hate letting the woman hold her, she ends up upsetting her!

    Ignore your sil she is jealous of what a lovely little boy you have!
    xxx
  • yeh i agree with what everyone else has said! milli is 4 months and hates being held by people she doesnt know and when she looks at me and starts moaning its like shes saying mummy take me off them!! so i do!
  • Your not overreacting at all. As everyone has said why would we leave our Lo's with someone else when we know how to settle them ourselves?
    Also, personally if I'm holding someone elses baby and they start crying I cant wait to hand them back!!

    xx
  • your not over reacting babe i would be the same, im lucky that if charlie starts to cry who ever has him even hubby will hand him to me as its not good for them to be getting so upset when it can easly be stopped.
    the simple fact is no one not even hubby knows our kids the way i do as im the one with them 24 / 7 so i know how to tell what it is they all want and need
  • oh yep, you are so completely overreacting. I mean after all, all we've done is carry them and grow them for nine months, then given birth to them, and then comforted them in the middle of the night when they've needed it, fed them, washed them, clothed them etc. But we're the ones with no right to our own babies..... (I am being very sarcastic here, not for one minute do i think you're overreacting at all hon!)

    Its my mil for me - she doesnt understand that i dont want her here all the time, nor do i want her bringing ollie 10,000 pressies everytime she arrives, and nor do i want her fawning all over him when he's upset.
    But she gets upset when i tell her this, which upsets hubby because he thinks the sun shines out of her arse, and we've just had a big row because I said i'd like him to help me with xmas dinner and he said "oh just get my mum to help then I can have a day off...." Soo fuming. Am so sick of him trying to foist his bloody mother on me all the time!

    Sorry, went off on one there.....

    if she is really doing your head in with it then tell her straight - dont tell your OH to tell her because they wont ever get it right. If she gets upset then tell her that the only people that are no1 to you at the moment are your OH and your LO and she can go swing if she thinks you're going to put her feelings before your lo's.....


    xxxx
  • I don't think your over reacting at all! Louise didn't like to be held by anyone other than mummy and I used to hate it when she was crying and my mother or mil wouldn't give her back if she was upset.

    That said, Louise has been passed round like a parcel all weekend while we've been visting friends and family. She's been fantastic aslong as she's had a toy in her hand and getting attention! But I have had to stay in the room while she's gone to sleep - am not sure if this is down to being unsettled because of having such busy days going to unknown places, seeing people she doesn't see very often, or that she just needed to know mummy is there!

    I think the idea of leaving him cry once is a good idea - then maybe she'll see why you take him away.
  • completlety agree with you hun! If someone else is holding Theo and he's crying I'll give them a couple of minutes to try and sort it out but if they cant then I'll go and take him. Like you said, I'm his mum, I'm with him 24-7 so I know him best. Plus I generally know from his cry now what he actually wants.
    xxx
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