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Forced to grow up too quickly nower days?

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  • it's more shocking how many children get to secondary school who cant use a knife and fork, as they eat their pizza on the sofa while watching tv, who cant tie shoelaces as they always have velcro fastening shoes, who cant tie a tie. tbh i fnd it shocking when parents cant fasten the child's tie either, which ive had on more than one occasion! and who can't saw on a button.

    OMG a knife and fork? really? Thats pretty bad! I could do my tie and shoelaces at primary school im sure, mum made sure of it xx
  • I think sometimes the pressure to reach certain goals is from external sources rather than the parent themselves. I took Dee to the HV at 6-7 months for his monthly weigh and she made me feel like the worst mummy in the world that he wasn't loading and using a spoon yet. Regardless to the fact that he fed himself better than most children twice his age with his hands being BLW, the fact that he couldn't use cutlery at 7 months meant he was behind apparently!
  • I think sometimes the pressure to reach certain goals is from external sources rather than the parent themselves. I took Dee to the HV at 6-7 months for his monthly weigh and she made me feel like the worst mummy in the world that he wasn't loading and using a spoon yet. Regardless to the fact that he fed himself better than most children twice his age with his hands being BLW, the fact that he couldn't use cutlery at 7 months meant he was behind apparently!

    *bad hv alert* (sorry this really gets my goat up) if he was only 6/7 months then he shouldnt be able to load a spoon yet or use it (not saying its impossible or anything but it isnt an expected milestone) and for this reason we dont do developmental checks now at that age - usually review about 8/9 months to see if sitting , crawling, weight bearing and if not doesnt mean anything wrong as some babies are quicker and some are slower to do things and no all babies crawl etc but its to get an idea incase there is some kind of delay that can be quiyte obvious and that age and so be picked up sooner incase parents dont know what they are looking for but we still woulnt be expecting babies to feed themselves espec as weaning isnt recommended before 6 months anyway!

    Also BLW is becomming more main stream especially promoted in breast feeding circles - the la leche group are big on it but most of the hvs i know still favour the old way but with a much quicker progression e.g onto lumps by 7/8 months (same as if you wean earlier as it can take longer) and dont really advocate BLW unless its combined but they are all diffeent and so people will get different advice but its another personal choice how we all chose to wean..

    anyway im really waffling now but it annoys me when there is such (an inaccurate) pressure on so called milestones when its being put out there by health professionals....

    Lx
  • Lauz my HV's are appalling! They don't do development checks of any kind in our area and unless I took him to clinic he wouldn't get checked at all.

    I know he's on track but her making him out to be slow for not doing something I knew most 1 year olds can struggle with really upset me at the time, then I just got annoyed! He actually now can load and eat from a spoon, however he doesn't like to his hands are far quicker :lol:
  • Nice to see this thread is still going but in a nice way!
    I (as you are probably all well aware..yawn..lol) have 5 kids and one thing i have learnt from this is that they are all DIFFERENT. Some things were the same but they all had different preferences.

    Lauren (born 91) we were told to introduce solids at 8 weeks...honest to god...8 weeks!!!!!! I tried one night as i was young and did as I was told. She spat it all out and gagged, choked etc. I told my hv she was doing well when really I did not try again for weeks. by 4 months she was on solids. I am pretty sure the jars and packets said from 2 months (or maybe 3!!!!!!!!!)
    Chris (born 93) I was told not before 16 weeks. He was not ready and was more like 6 months. This is the same with the last 3 ( who were BF but the older 2 were not)
    Amelia just stopped BF at 30 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, Mrs NN its the same as a bottle really. Dont feel bad as my eldest had a bottle till she was about 3 I think and had not adverse affects. Like you said, if I stopped the bottle she had no milk. As she was a bad eater anyway i 'gave in' and let her have it. It was only first thing in the morning with her toast. When Chris was about 1 he stopped having a bottle and i threw them all away at the same time. We went on holiday that day and told lauren we had forgot to pack it. She was so excited about the holiday that she did not ask again! The Xmas wish trees are great for dummies etc. I was 4 when I gave up mine. My mum told me the baby dickybirds needed my dummies. That night I had the most awful dream about huge birds pinching all my toys...lol!

    I think we all have our guidelines and our limits etc. So long as we dont 'baby' them into their teens then I see no harm! Our job as a parent is to guide our children to make the right choices. Its not our job to baby them forever and make all choices for them, neither is it our job to force them to do things just so we can say our child does this, that or the other blah blah.... one day they will be out there without us and if we have not allowed them to 'grow' and have the confidence to go with their own instincts then basically we have not done our job?

    I totally agree with PTB about the older girl clothes. I just warn you tho that its soooo hard when all thier mates are dressing like the pussy cat dolls. I don't mind leggings and wolly waistcoats (like in next) but I do have a problem with midriffs, hip slung jeans, leather, denim (sorry i just do) etc.. its just MY pet hate. I don't think anyone else who does it is a bad mummy though. its just not for me.

    I can say hand on heart that they grow up so fast. I never beleived that when older people told me. However, hindsight is a wonderful thing. To me it seems 5 mins since I delivered lauren and chris. They are now away from me in the UK studying. I miss them so much and just hope the way we brought them up guides them into adulthood.

    Dee off for a cry xxxxx

    [Modified by: dee dee on September 21, 2010 11:16 AM]

  • PTB does Lily suck her thumb? Will you stop her by 2? As i kinda think its the same as a dummy xx (love you lol)

    Ha, it's a good point! Yes she very much still sucks her thumb, and now she's no longer a baby and can get comfort from elsewhere and not just sucking, I really would like to stop her doing it (certainly before her adult teeth start coming through, at least) - but it's not possible the way it is with taking a dummy away! So if I could take it away from her I would, but I can't!

    As for bottle - Lily wouldn't touch a drop of milk (offered in a beaker) for over a week when we went cold turkey on bottles, which I wasn't thrilled with, but then she suddenly realised the bottles weren't coming back so she now drains a beaker am and pm - phew.
  • Sorry to bump but was looking through old posts and wanted to get my two pence in!

    My ds is 29 months and he still has a dummy and is in nappies but those are the only 'baby' things really. He wears sleepsuits occasionally and I think he looks cute in them but usually pjs.

    He doesn't have bottles though & I'm glad tbh as I really dont want him having both bottles & dummies at 2 but that's just cos I'm lazy and would rather not have more than 1 'big thing' to wean off.

    I would have no problem with him having a dummy until 3-4 to be fair, its not like he has it in the day so no one would even know he has it?!

    I so agree about the school ties!!! My best friend had an elastic string tie until year 11! I used to take the piss so bad but she'd never learnt to tie a tie. I can sew on a button but it's the extent of my sewing prowess I'm afraid.
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