Feeling a bit down

This sounds horrible, but I'm not enjoying being a mummy right now. Charlotte is being very difficult. I know she's teething but that doesn't explain all her behaviour.

She seems to not like me very much. I try and play with her and she throws her toys around. If she gets angry she slaps me. She's always whinging. I don't know what else to do. OH comes back from work and her face lights up and she's all happy again which makes me feel worse. I tell him what she's been like all day and I'm sure he thinks I'm telling porkies! Does she prefer Daddy to me?!

She will cruise but not walk. If I try and hold her up by her arms so she can try to walk she'll just plop down on her bum which is worrying me. I thought she would want to try & walk more now she cruises - but no.

She's also started to have tantrums during feeding her. One minute she's fine then she's off on one.

I know you're reading this probably thinking this happens every day to others etc etc, but all I want is a happy lo that will enjoy playing with me and not hit me! She's only 14 months, God help me when the terrible 2's arrive.....:\(


  • aww hun, jayden only 10months and sometimes does this, he wont play with me and whinges all day untill daddy gets home and he changes and becomes a very good happy boy lol i think its a phase(well i hope it is) jayden also starting to hit and thinks its funny...

    cant really help.. but just wanted you too now my lo going through days like this, roll on 18 LOL
  • It also sounds like she's refusing her nap again. Once she was off was going to start on the big pile of ironing. And Oh wonders why I don't get things done!
  • hi there, I can sympathise but I also warn its probably not going to get any better soon!
    How old is she now? Shea went through this when he was about 10/11 months and I think it was more through frustration of wanting to do more but they can't.
    he is now 18months and we have the full blown tantrums and some wonderful whinging sessions that really get me down sometimes.
    I work 4 days a week and he never has these at nursery, just with me and his dad, but more so me. I know he loves me as I get the best snugs but I think they just "take it out" on the person closest who tends to be their mother.

    I ahve learnt to ignore these outburts (v hard tho) as even if I shout or tell him off he's getting what he wants - attention - albeit negative attention, he's still got his own way.
    So now we ignore him he soon shakes himself out of it. I just walk out of the room and let him get on with it!

    Good luck honey but I know its hard, I have times where I think I'm better off at work LOL!!! only kidding!
  • claire a belle - she's 14 months. I do think a lot of it is frustration. When she's walking I do think it will be easier in some ways.
    The other thing is she's not very cuddly. Never has been really. I try & hold her and read a story but within 2 minutes she's struggling to bugger off! Yet my sister's 21 month old will sit on my knee and cuddle up really close. I miss that with Charlotte.
    QB - Our 2 lo's do sound similar. Hope they are easier when hormonal teenagers??!
  • oh it sounds just like you are describing Grace.

    im struggling at the minute too. she just seems whingey all the time and i cant get anything done.

    she is also a kid that lashes out she hits me loads. she is only 10 months but so determined. i said to my mum the other day that she is really violent and she just had hysterics saying how can she be, she is only a baby. i dont think people understand what they can be like as they just see a little angel

    as soon as Graces daddy walks in she lights up and puts her arms straight out to him, saying dadada. i am yey to still heat mamama.

    i hate myself for it but have over the past few days been counting the hours till she goes to bed.

    people have said it will be a nightmare when she can walk but i cant wait cos by back is bloody killing me from walking her round for 8 hours a day!

  • you're right it should get easier when she's walking as she'll be able to do more. Now the weather has got better, if Shea is whinging I put his coat on and stick him out in the back garden, which he loves! Don't give in to her tho, toddlers become very manipulative very early on!!

    I'm sorry you don't get snugs either, I don't really have that with Shea as he's always been very loving and cuddly and he comes up to you now and give me a big snog!! But I can imagine how hurtful that can feel! Hopefully as she gets older she'll turn more affectionate
  • She wont give cuddles but she will kiss us so we do get some affection. It's very funny as she also sticks her tongue out when kissing and slobbers all over our chins!
  • Have to say I really wondered if it was just us going through it. Lo is 8 months and the whinging and whineing is hard to cope with day in and day out but I keep reminding myself he's trying to tell me something. Have yet to work out what it is mind but he is just trying to communicate with me!

    The head butting and kicking is hurting-have had bruise's in the past but he seems to get my cheekbones the most while sat on my knee. Have to wear a bra when first thing when I change him as he was using me as a kick bag!!!

    He isn't an especially cuddly boy either he'd much rather be off climbing something which is fair enough. I always know if he is unwell or tired if he snuggles in.

    As for oh well he is the best thing since sliced bread who gets lo to scream with laughter I'm just the one who cleans bums, washes clothes, takes lo out and about. Do feel lo favours oh but I know oh feels the opposite!

    Like Lara say's I'm sure its a phase they grow out of-right? I bloomin' hope so as boy it does get tough somethimes!

    Sorry, you're having a tough time hun but I hope it helps a bit to see you are soooooo not alone! x
  • just wanna apologise to anyone who thinks i say awful things about JJ, sorry to g/c this post but some of the comment got me thinking...i do call him a little fatty and i called him fat head on a picture comment earlier, i do mean it obv in the nicest possible way (if thats possible?!) because he is perfect to me, i do just mean them in a joking way, i'd never say my boy has a fat head in a mean way :\(

    sorry, i just got worried that it crossed ur mind that i'm horrible to JJ :\(
  • Right back to post firstly, I think its definately her age and also a sign the she will be a very strong minded lil lady!! My girls were like it at even now at 2 and 4 they are so stubborn and strong willed but unfortunately does entail some tantrums!! It is however something you have to be stern with with. George is only 8 months but has a huge temper but have also been warned that his will be a lot worse due to his ears and feeling frustrated. He is a big boy and can overpower me with it sometimes.

    Secondly I think we all go through stages when he kids are doing naughty things to think things. I also call my George little fatty or meat head like his dad or his new one is cheeky git but I have learnt not to say them around the girls as I would never dream of them saying it to him or others. I think when you do have chubby babies its hard not to call them chubby or fatso in a cute way not a horrible way. Bitch I dont agree with anyway and even though my girls behave like them already I have changed it to witches as I think this is a bit more agreeable and understandable for a 2 and 4 year old as they know a witch isnt very nice so when they are not being very nice and I call them it they know its wrong.

    I think when they are babies its acceptable to call them fatso or chunky but not when they get old enough to understand as it will give them a complex about weight at an early age I was a proper chubby toddler and have gone through life being reminded of it and always worried and felt bad about being called that.
    Sorry if anyone doesnt agree but like everything in life everyone has different ways of thinking, doing things etc etc x
  • Hayley I know how you feel. It is SUCH hard work when they never stop whinging and whining, especially when you're trying to do house work, or eat! ARGH. I used to go to Gabe at the tiniest moan. I still do to some extent, but now if I'm eating or busy, then tough titties, he has to wait! (Thats unless he's really upset of course) I just say "Gabe, you've had your tea, now it's time for mummy to eat hers" or "Gabe, I've just played with you, I will play again once I've finished this". He doesnt understand half of that of course but hopefully he will learn patience from it in the long term. I try and be calm.

    Zoey there's nothing wrong with what you said....oh calls Gabe 'little b*****d' if he hits him or pinches him (Gabe doing it to OH not the other way round!) and it gets on my nerves but i'd be lying if I didn't think it myself sometimes...

    Mrs j bourne - we call Gabe 'block head' sometimes :lol:
  • Please don't let this post turn into a slanging match xxx

    To make you all laugh - we have bought her a pink cowboy hat as she loves wearing things on her head. It came this morning and I've been calling her Calamity Charlotte. it fits her brill as it's a kiddies one.

    Lots of people, inc my hv & sister have all said for a long time that Charlotte is very strong-willed. I'm not a laid back person and can be quick tempered so maybe she gets it off me?!
  • The hat sounds great and I bet she loves it!
    Think lo is becoming stong willed too and I know he'll get it from me as I'm a 'postivie' person as me old Nan used to say when she was being polite!! My lo is only 8 months old so looking forward to the terrible twos and the teenage years etc.....!
  • ccbmommy, I am also quick tempered and Riley is exactly the same. I'd love to say "I don't know where he gets it from!" but everyone knows. People used to call me contrary as a child too and he gets this now. My husband says Riley was supposed to get my looks and hubbies personality traits (as he's patient and placid) but it's the other way around.

    Bless her in the cowboy hat! xxx
  • She does lol! It also has a tiara bit stuck on the front and sequins around the brim. it keeps her happy for awhile anyway.
  • CCB I know how you feel - I don't know where I am with Neve half the time at the moment, she is teething, has woken up with spots all over her torso from her MMR ten-ish days ago and is the opposite to your Charlotte in that she sticks to me like glue! When I put her down she lays on the floor crying and the hour before bedtime is a bit of a nightmare recently. I know with absolute certainty that it is a phase and it will pass but I do find it really frustrating - where is my little bear that loves to potter around happily with her toys?

    She lay her head on my tummy yesterday which I thought was sweet then I realised she was biting me!!!!!!! Obviously I dealt with that and told her NO! But this age must be pretty frustrating for them and I bet our lo's, love them as we do are as confused as we are.

    Sorry - I don't think my post has helped at all but I don't think anyone with a child doesn't understand where you are coming from.

    Cowboy hat sounds great by the way.

    [Modified by: Lottie+Neve+Oct Baby on March 25, 2009 09:36 PM]

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