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could I ask your opinion (slightly o/t)
Okay so last night ds, 6 weeks, and dd3 aged 2 were both sick so I was up until 3am juggling between them and dd1 who had a bad dream. They both have some sort of tummy bug and are vomitting, fever, that sort of thing. Dh stayed up until 12 playing computer games, grumbling about the baby crying when I had to attend to dd3, and then went to bed. I woke up to him coming back into the house at 5am, saying he'd been woken up by a prank call, and since she sounded hot they chatted for a while. He went for a walk so he wouldn't wake us.
I am feeling really cross, because I feel like I was up all night with sick babies while he slept, but he gets up and goes for a walk just so he can chat up a stranger???
Am I just being tired and hormonal, and this is really not worth getting upset about. I'm trying to do my masters along with four children 5 and under with little to no help from dh, so I am sleep deprived and no longer have a grasp on reasonable. lol.
Thank you
xx
I am feeling really cross, because I feel like I was up all night with sick babies while he slept, but he gets up and goes for a walk just so he can chat up a stranger???
Am I just being tired and hormonal, and this is really not worth getting upset about. I'm trying to do my masters along with four children 5 and under with little to no help from dh, so I am sleep deprived and no longer have a grasp on reasonable. lol.
Thank you
xx
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Replies
Not on in my opinion, he needs a kick up the bum!
C
i would have chopped the plug off his computer and handed him one of the babies and told him to get his arse into gear, and as for chatting up a radom girl cos she sounded hot, did he acctually say that my god what a way to fill you with self esteam!!!
i think hes taking the piss love and needs telling so!!
good luck with the kiddie winks x
Of course it was out of order for him not to help with your unwell LO's, and i'd be cross with that, but i'm suprised how calm you seem about the early hours sexy talk time with a stranger!
have some serious words.. xxx
Hope the little ones feel better soon, and that you manage to get some sleep later hun x x x
If my hubby sat on his ass playing on the computer while I tended to two sick children plus a child having bad dreams I would have thrown the damn computer out the window in all honesty but i'm sorry, admitting that he chatted to a prank caller because she sounded hot is just completely wrong for a married man or any man in a relationship to do.
As Linzi said, i'm surprised how calm you seem about it - the guy would be 6ft under if it was me by now
Hope your children are feeling better x x
That alone would have had me packing his bags for a day or two, kids or not. I'm really not tolerable of that sort of thing. He's shown a complete lack of respect towards you and your children.
I think he needs a serious chat Hun, are things ok otherwise?
I would leave him with the children for a couple of hours whilst you meet a friend for coffee or something, you sound like you could do with a break and he needs to understand what you are coping with.
Hope you get it sorted
xxx
sorry but i would have given one of the babies to him, to deal with, and as to the coming home at 5 in the morning, wtf? i would have questions to ask! x
Sorry, what? Is he 16 years old? YES this is unreasonable behaviour from any partner, never mind a father, never mind a father with poorly children.
Hugs for you and i hope the kiddies are feeling better today xx
I hope the babies are feeling better.
xx
All I got was he works all day, (I work too, and contribute 70% of our income), and he is so exhausted. I got a good rant about how I could improve my parenting, and he's mad at me for ruining his day by even mentioning the phone call.
I'm so exhausted, I tried really hard to word things not aggressive or accusing and try to say things in a please I love you and ned your help sort of way.
Poor ds and dd3 were up crying most of last night, between tummies being unsettled or the stress. I just feel like I'm failing my children.
Sorry to moan. I probably just need sleep..lol. so I shall have a cup of coffee and some chocolate
xx
Hope things improve soon - he needs to buck up his ideas in a BIG way.
C
That's very unsupportive of your hubby i must say, but i know how it feels, my husband used to justify his lack of help with "i work 40hours a week" and would see that as his ticket out of any chores or childcare. We've worked things out since then and he has woken up a bit to just how much hard work is involved in being a SAHM or even working and being mummy/housewife too.
I'm concerned that you can't talk openly with him for worry of him becoming aggressive, if lines of communication aren't open you are at risk of getting realy down in the dumps chick. Of course we'll all welcome your moans and advice posts, but it's not quite the same as having a heart to heart with hubby.
I still don't understand the whole phone call thing, sorry if this is a little blunt but he sounds like he's being dissmissive about it.. and like he has something to hide? I'd need to know more for my own sanity. i'm not convinced by the "prank call" thing.
Your letter was a good idea though, good on you for trying to chat with him, shame it didn't get much resolve. You must keep on trying though.
definately get the chocolate out, that will help for now! Hope your kiddies feel better soon, and you are certainly NOT failing them, You sound like a bloody fantastic loving devoted mummy xxxxxxx
My blood is absolutely boiling here. How dare he trreat you like that!
I'm not going to suggest what you need to do as I don't really know you or your OH in the real world but I will say that he is behaving in a completely unacceptable way. I don't give a sh*t if he earns 100% of the household income (which is obviously doesn't) you and the children are HIS family and it is his responsibility to help take care of ALL of you. Whether he likes it or not. Yes it's tiring working and looking after children but tough sh*t - it comes with the territoriy. If you ask me he's lucky he's not out on his ar*e. If he was my husband I may have resorted to physical violence by now....
Maybe get him to read this thread and see how cross the rest of us are...... He has a VERY understanding wife in you!!
hope things improve sweety
xxxxx
There are no two ways about this for me and i'm sorry if its not what you want to hear but if any man treated me like this i'd be upping and leaving and letting his sorry arse see what he has lost. He is emotionally and mentally abusing you........which is just plain wrong......taunting you with calls with 'hot' women? just wrong.
Have you any place you could go for a few days - let him see you've had enough and won't put up with his bullying and horrid ways?
I know its easy for me, a non-real person, to sit at my laptop and say all this, i'm not in the situation and I can't know how you feel. But as a woman, I empathise and know if it were me - I couldn't and wouldn't put up with it.
big hugs x x x