Does anyone do it?

I'm full of guilt as it's the only way I can get lo to settle at night. She is 3 weeks+5 days and we are breastfeeding-which on the whole is going well, she is gaining weight and is quite a content little thing generally. But night times were such a battle - wanting to cluster feed from midnight til 5am and then every two hours for at least half an hour meant v little sleep. So last week I started feeding her lying down and I was so exhaausted that I fell asleep. And we woke up 4 and a half Hours later. It was amazing- I felt so refreshed but instantly guilty. I talked to my mw about it who said not to worry it was fine to do and gave me some tips on making it safe. We then had a few great nights. If I fell asleep after lying down to feed I would just pop her back in the Moses basket when I nexxt woke which could be half an hour or once was six hours! Now she seems to have worked out night and day. But I can't get her to settle in her basket at night- she has to be fully asleep oN my boob and in bed at night. Mmm am I doing the wrong thing and making a rod for my own back as they say?



  • we have been co sleeping for nearly 6 weeks as it was the only way i got any sleep and it was getting dangerous for me being so tired as he only cat naps in the day so i never caught up, i always try to put him back in his basket when alseep but he always wakes up, we are trying a memory foam support sleeper tonight and so far so good, i love him being close but apart from the danger part i hate sleeping on my back and i'm starting to suffer with back ache in the day from it

    i posted on this last week and it was a mixed bag of opionions on wether it is a bad habit or something baby would grow out of.

    becca and jacob
    6 weeks
  • Thanks for the reply pp. It's good to know I'm not the only one. Had a look for your thread and may try a few of the suggestions. Just tried a transfer back to the Moses basket so fingers crossed we may start the night seperately!
  • Hi hon, I know the current advice is against co-sleeping, but when I had ds1 (8yrs ago) the advice was that as long as you or yr hubby had not been drinking or taking drugs (yeah right -lol!) it was safe.

    Then there was this massive news story about this poor lady who was in a maternity ward and smothered her 1 day old baby by co-sleeping (in the hospital bed!). It is worth pointing out that the lady's weight and the fact that she was super overtired (had missed 2 nights sleep) had some bearing here. Suddenly all the guidelines changed, and they stopped saying co-sleeping was ok.

    I have co-sept at various times with my lo's when needed - ds2 would never settle in his moses basket, so I brought him in the bed with me - he slept - I slept - I had a 2yr old as well to look after in the day - we were all happy! I did take certain precautions though - I would never ever fall asleep with baby between hubby and me - just too risky. I was also careful about the duvet over them (to stop overheating) and I always put a pillow on the floor just in case they fell out of bed. They never did. Strangely, I always found that although I felt i had slept deeply, when they were in the bed with me, I would always wake up in the same position - ie half cuddling them - so something in my brain knew they were there even though I was asleep.

    All I can advise you is take the sensible precautions and you'll be ok. Mine went on to sleep in a cot ok - apart from dd3 (but thats a whole other story lo - she a nightmare but I don't think its down to the co-sleeping!)


  • I co sleep with Amy and she is 10 weeks and I may continue to so sleep with her until I stop breast feeding or it becomes a problem for any other reason. She loves it and honestly if she isn't in the bed with me now I barely sleep but I do recommend getting what I have for my bed to ensure you do not roll on your baby or they don't smother under your blankets. I will send you an ebay link so you can see the thing I am talking about. You should be able to buy one at a baby store though.
  • I too coslept alot when LO was tiny. I just kept falling asleep with her in the bed! Every time I woke up I would pop her in the crib and as she got used to it she would sleep longer and longer in there.

    I also had something similar to libranasters suggestion but this:

    Which she still sleeps in inside her crib as it makes her feel more secure. They are really good and make you feel less guilty!!

    by the way, my bubba still goes to sleep on the boob at 5 months but then goes straight in her crib for at least 7 hours no probs.
  • I don't believe you're doing anything wrong or necessarily making a rod for your own back. I did the same - it meant we all got a good night's sleep and LO rarely cried because she felt secure and comforted by the closeness. She could also pretty much help herself to the boob, so often hubby (who had to get up for work next day) didn't even know she'd woken for a feed.

    Like yours, my very nice (and experienced) mw also said that in her opinion it's' a natural thing to do and as long as we hadn't been drinking, and as we weren't grossly overweight, she didn't see a problem.

    LO started to have a regular bedtime in her own room from 2 months, but until 6 months I used to bring her into bed with us for the rest of the night as soon as she woke for a feed. She started sleeping through and self-settling reliably in her own cot from 6 months with no particular training or stress.
  • well we managed most of the night in the basket with the positioner but i have to say i missed the closeness. he was in bed with us at 6 for a couple of hours when he wouldnt settle after his last feed, i suppose he feels held with the positioner x

    becca and jacob
    6 weeks, 1 day
  • Hello - I co-sleep and have done since day one in the hospital as I was scared somebody would steal my baby hahaha....nutjob i know!

    My lo is 5mths now and so that hubby and I have more room in the bed - we use a three sided cot which is attached to my bed so the beds do not move apart.

    I breast feed still all night so at least this way I get some sleep and do not feel like a total zombie the next day!

    They do not advise against co-sleeping - they advise to co-sleep safely!

    I would also like to point out that the UK is the only country that frowns apon co-sleeping. In China it is recommended you co-sleep for 1 yr and they have a ZERO cotdeath rate!

  • Not quite sure about the zero cot death rate, SIDS is put as cause of death when no known cause is found, some countries a. dont do PM's or b. allow things to be classed as cause of death which isnt allowed in the UK but MKB does make an important point, even in countries where co sleeping is encouraged the rates of cot death are no different to countries where it is more frowned upon.

    In fact all the results which link cot death to co sleeping do not distinguish between those babies that have died whilst the parent was using drug/alcohol/smoking and those tiny minority that die when the parent was responsibly co sleeping.

    I have chosen to co sleep and spent ages researching it and have been in contact with a paediatrian that is studying SIDS and I feel that planned co sleeping is safer than falling asleep accidently which is always a possibility when you have a little one.

  • Sorry - didnt mean zero cotdeath rate - meant low rate xxx
  • I agree that you shouldn't feel guilty - as long as you feel that you have made a safe and informed decision. In the early days with my daughter I often co-slept as that is what made both me and her happy, if you are using a baby-led approach then co-sleeping seems natural. I felt guilty too as the midwives in hospital wouldn't let me sleep with my baby and I had to keep doing it sneakily! However when I 'confessed' to my hv, she said 'off record' that it was fine and also that there was some evidence that actually suggested that it decreased cot death, God knows what is true!

    I chose to move my LO as soon as she was ready, so she'd generally start the night in the moses and end it in bed with me ... then gradually began settling better. By about 12 weeks there was no need for co-sleeping at all so you're not nec making a rod for your own back, as long as you persevere with trying the basket I guess?

    Helen x
  • Just to note I never thought co-sleeping was linked to SIDS at all - I always thought SIDS was 'cot death' and unexplained. I think on the rare occasions co-sleeping has caused a death it is known why - generally smothering or crushing (sorry to be so clinical xx).

    Can I just add that I LOVED co-sleeping - it felt totally natural to me to curl up with my baby in bed and bf - I could do night feeds and barely wake up lol!


  • hi there ,we co slept when our ds was born ,he was a nightmare sleeper and the only way we got sleep was with him in the bed...needs must sometimes....i agree with whoever said planned co-sleeping is far better than being knackered and accidently dropping off to sleep with lo in a chair or in a bed when u are likely to roll over onto them!!

    we always slept with sheets not quilts,had our pillows length ways with a gap for ds in the middle so he couldnt be suffocated and it worked fine ..UNTIL NOW!! he is 3.5 years and for love nor money we cant get him out of our bed!!! dd is soooo good at sleeping in her bed but he is up several times a night in our bed for cuddles and i think its started from the day he came into our bed.....

    although i do love cuddles in the morning (and i have an excuse for no ahem with oh :lol: ) he is a right wriggling pain in the backside now and steals all the covers!!! :evil: :lol:
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