Really need help :(

I fell pregnant to my ex and gave birth to my beautiful baby girl in august this year.
Thing have been really strained between my ex and i as we were not together when i fell pregnat and he didnt agree with me keeping the baby, in the end i couldnt go through with the termination and decided to carry to with the pregnancy. Despite this, my ex continued to use me foe sex throughout my pregnancy, I only admit now that this is what it was as at the time i cared about him and wanted to believe he cared too. He didnt, and was seeing other girls the whole time

He didnt support me at all throughout the pregnancy and even when i spent a week in hospital at 25 weeks with threatened labour he didnt wanna know, He would text when he fancied hooking up fpr sex but would then call me everyname under the sun and ignore me for weeks on end.

He was not there when i gave birth and later admitted he was in bed with someone else while i was in labour.

For the first few weeks he seemed interested in being a father and treated me with respect for the first time in years. It didnt last. Now he tests one or twice a week (if im lucky) asking "how is the little one"

He hs been seeing her at the weekends but in all honesty is no kind of father,

He holds her while watching tv and passes her back to me when she needs fed, changed or comforted. In 12 weeks hes changed her napy TWICE.

I really hoped he would be a good father and treat me with respect but hes still as nasty as hes always been.

He has messed me about for so long that iv now had enough and told hi if he cant be a fulltime daddy then i dont want him in our lives.

Now he is threatening to go to court for shared custody of a daughter he really doesnt care about.

He isnt named on the birth certificate as i was scared that he would start threatening me and making my life difficult which it turns out he is doing.

Hes been nothing but disrespectful, agressive and abusive towards me for years.

I dont trust him alone with my daughter and have said he can have access when im there but he doesnt want to know. He hasnt a clue how to look after a baby and has a very short temper with aggressive tendencies.

What are the chancesof him gettin unsupervised accessif he does go through with these threats? cant sleep for worryig about it xxx


  • Sorry about the quick and missspelt post, am using my sisters laptop without my specs and can hardly see. lol xxx
  • Sorry about the quick and missspelt post, am using my sisters laptop without my specs and can hardly see. lol xxx
  • Sorry about the quick and missspelt post, am using my sisters laptop without my specs and can hardly see. lol xxx
  • If he isnt on the birth certificate I shouldnt think he would have much chance? Also, it would cost him alot of money and time if you were to want to take it to court, and he doesnt sound like the type of person who would put in the effort. Sorry you're going through this, it doesnt sound nice. xxx
  • I cant believe i fell in love with such a monster.

    I love my baby girl so much and i want the best for her. I never wanted her not to have a father but hes not reliable and i dont want him to hurt her in years to come.

    He said hes going to get a court ordered paternity test (which is ironic because he denied bein the father when she was born) and is seeking legal advice.

    He gives me ??100 a month child support (which i never asked for) and constantly throws it in my face like im below him. After 4 years of being together (he was my first ever boyfriend) i wish i had never met him.

    He says that giving me the money is making him skint and he cant afford to live ( which is bullsh*t) but the truth is hes so tight he squeaks when he walk and i know he wont willingly part with money for this. Does anyone know how much this would cost for him to pursue???xxx

  • My SIL is going through something similar, and her solicitor is ??150 per hour. Luckily her ex is backing off as he's a work shy abusive layabout and he won't part with any of his DLA which he fakes a limp for. Sounds harsh but he beat her when she was pregnant so I don't hold back about him anymore! xxx
  • As far as I know if he's not named on the birth certificate (good move!) he has no claim to parental responsibility. Unless he wishes to go thru the courts, get a court order, solicitor etc which I very much doubt he would if he can't even be bothered to change a nappy!

    So glad you did not put him on birth cert!!
  • Hi,
    Sorry to read about your troubles, I went through family court with my son's father around 7 years ago - email me [email protected] or add me on Facebook Sarah Cotton, Wales network (photo is me holding baby Rhianna with my son on the right of the photo) and I'll tell you what I went through - just a few tips from someone who's been there!
    It might not be the easiest or most pleasant thing in the world to go through but you can sort things out and protect your little one so try not to worry too much xx
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