What does everyone think about dummies and older children?

pumpkino · Dec 2, 2013 8:24PM

Hi all

I was on the bus this afternoon and a woman got on with her two children. One was about two years old and had a dummy in her mouth. The other was at least 4, if not 5 (I think he'd just been picked up from school), and also had a dummy in his mouth.

I don't think I've ever seen a child of that age with a dummy and was wondering what people think about it? He had a mouth full of teeth and was holding it in with them while talking to his mum, so I was wondering what the point of it was?

My gut reaction was a bit shocked (I didn't react but others on the bus quite rudely shook their heads or tut tutted etc which I thought was outrageous!), but then I wondered whether there might be a perfectly good reason for it, or perhaps she has tried to get rid of it without success. This last thought frightened me a bit as I use a dummy with my LO but he is only 10 weeks so I'm hoping I have plenty of time to phase it out!

I hope I haven't offended anyone who is using a dummy with older children - that's not my intention at all, I was just curious as I haven't come across it before.

So what do people think? When should we start phasing it out - or do you think kids should keep them as long as they want them?

C

xMrsNoNamex · Mar 12, 2010 2:11PM

G/C

I had my dummy till i started school and had goofy teeth so i dont think they should have them for as long as they want.

My dd was weaned off her dummy during the day at 1 year i.e. casual use.. so she just has it strictly for naps, bedtime or if not very well! Shes 17 months old now and i have no intention of taking it off her just yet.. she only has it for sleeping and it falls out when she falls into a deep sleep anyway so its doing no harm

I think its a very personal choice but i wouldnt dream of letting my dd walk around with one in public at this age never mind 5.

Dont worry about your little one having a dummy.. there such a good comfort. Im 24 weeks pregnant and intend on giving this one a dummy too

xx

Rosapenny · Mar 12, 2010 2:18PM

My bil had a dummy until he was 6, his mum tried unsuccessfully to wean him off it, the problem was there were young babies in the house so he took theirs, eventually they allowed him one to suck in his bed at night time on the condition that he didnt do it in the day.
I never had a dummy so I dont know what it would have been like. I think at the age of 2 yeah thats not too bad but at the age of 4 or 5 then no, thats a little too old.
My fil told me he seen a girl pushing a pram yesterday and the child that was supposed to be in it was running along side and he said she was roughly 7 or 8 and wearing a school uniform, I know thats a little o/t but again a little too old.

gemm-42032 · Mar 12, 2010 2:22PM

My son had one and he only got it for naps of when he was upset when he was bigger. I took it off him in the car first and he only had it in bed and had to leave it there in the mornings. He left it out for santa when he just turned 3.

Ive a friend whos wee girl is 4 this week and she still has one but i can hear the difference in her speach compared to my 4 year old and she has had constant ear/runny nose probs due to her dummy

Its great for an easy life but not good for the child to have it too long

Gemm x

WoWbabies · Mar 12, 2010 2:22PM

ds has only ever had his dummy for naps aand bedtime, (one yr next week) and i do intend to stop this soon too, however i am going to wait until after he's had his mmr at 13ish months, tahts just me being a bit of a chicken tho really lol. i do think tho that it it's not in a childs best interest to have a dummy when older tho (just my opinion and obv there will be some circumstances taht i may be unaware of where it is necessary) talking with a dummy in can lead to speech impediments, prolonged use of dummys can lead to missaligned teeth (as mrsnoname pointed out) which one can eb embarrasing for the child, lead to braces etc and two can also effect speech, 3 if a child is conitnually needing to pacified then it concerns me that perhaps this child is being 'kept quiet' rather than expressing sadness or being annoyed, don't think i've phrased that too well but hope u can see whta i'm tryingt o say, i don't mean that there given it to stop them crying when sad etc, but being given it might hinder them being able to express their emotions properly, if thyat makes sense? for younger children/babies tho there are benefits to have a dummy, and there is some reasearch to say that suckling when asleep can help to prevent cot death. i wldn't worry about ur 10 week old having a dummy, if it works for u both at the moment, but like i say personally i will be getting rid of it once he's had his mmr, i will e giving next lo (when it happens) a dummy if that baby needs a little extra soothing too. hth xx

unhappy_EX_user · Mar 12, 2010 2:36PM

I don't have a problem with them but in my opinion they should be used to soothe babies or for bedtime, I dislike seeing children playing with them 'plugged in' if they are happily playing then they are not needed.
Off topic but you reminded me, I saw a toddler on a bus drinking a bottle of blue powerade recently, I could barely hide my shock!!

Babycrazy1 · Mar 12, 2010 2:48PM

IMO i dont agree with older children using dummies, i think dummies are fantastic for newborns with sucking urge but dont think that they should be used for older children, just for a quiet life. IMO dummies should be ditched by 6months - 1year. Its one of them things the longer its left the harder it is, thats why i ditched my lo's at 7 months!

XX

xCALLEIGHx · Mar 12, 2010 2:53PM

there was a craze for dummies at the school i work at last year. a couple of my year 11s started using them. i thought it was bliss as they were quiet!!!

didnt last long though... :roll:

WoWbabies · Mar 12, 2010 3:05PM

blue powerade???? omg! ds doesn't even have juice, he drinks no more of it than water, so figure stick with the water all the time he'll have it,obv i'm not comapring jiuce to powerade, but i'm in shock, mind u, my mum suggested i buy ds quavers last week ...i told her firmly no lol.

MrsB27 · Mar 12, 2010 3:10PM

i work with SEN children at my school and recently my speech and language therapist told me that if older children have them in too much for example when they are talking they can develop speech sound difficulties as the tongue and mouth don't learn to make the correct shapes they learn the shape with the dummy in.
thats my only reservation about dummies, but think as others have said they are okay if your little one needs soothing at nap times etc...

MegansMum · Mar 12, 2010 3:19PM

I was thinking the same thing the other day. Woman with a baby in buggy who would have been about 2 years old and her older boy who was about 4, both with dummies. I personally don't like seeing much older kids with dummies but then remind myself that I don't know what it is like to wean them off them and I may be in a similar situation in a couple of years time. I hope not though. I only really give my LO a dummy for naps and if she is unwell or between 6pm and 7pm to get her to bedtime, oh and early morning if she wakes before 7am (the list gets longer haha) I do let her have one in the buggy when we are out but mainly for when she needs to go for a sleep. If she has it because I think she is tired and then is smiling and happy then I take it out until she gets grumpy and tired again.

I also saw someone with blue powerade for her child about a month ago. And when I was at Greggs the other day I asked for a pasty and a sausage roll as I was absolutely starving and was asked if the sausage roll for for my LO!!! She was 6 months old at the time!!

gsmummy55 · Mar 12, 2010 3:57PM

I'm on the fence, I've got a 22 month old and he still has a dummy, *occasionally* in public but usually just at home when he's tired or in his cot.

Personally I don't mind seeing children with dummies in the day at 2 but once they are 3 they should be JUST for bed time in my opinion and should definitely be LONG GONE by age 4

We're planning on getting rid of my ds' dummy next christmas when he'll be 2 1/2. He'll understand then he's a big boy and doesnt need dummies.

To be honest, I think I could wean him off them now with minimal problems as sometimes if I cant find one he goes without & he doesnt mind, but I guess I'm keeping him a baby for now

joannemarie · Mar 12, 2010 4:13PM

My friends lo had a dummy till she was 7! And it was just to give my friend an easy life I'm sure. I don't like toddlers holding dummy's in their teeth and talking round them. About the comments with an older child and pram, my neighbour uses a pram for her daughter who is in the first year at infants because she has muscular problems. Sometimes she runs along side it, but she gets tired very easily, especially on the way home from school so has to hop in the buggy.

piggypops · Mar 12, 2010 4:16PM

I personally dont think its right to have a dummy once the child becomes able to speak, like other posters have said it stops language development by blocking the tounge

LO has a dummy but only for settling for naps and bedtime, we dont plug it in at that time but offer it if hes unsettled he usually has a few sucks settles then spits it out

my friend is due next week and we were talking about this, her hubby doesnt want to use dummies purely for this reason, our main reason for using them at the start was because of the evidence regarding cot death and how they can reduce the risk,

becca and jacob
10 weeks, 1 day

annebop · Mar 13, 2010 4:46AM

Honestly - I think it's awful. Here's another question though, how would you feel if they were sucking their thumb instead? I know lots of people would rather their babies did this but as a thumb sucker myself, I think it's equally as awful and much harder to take away.

Dummies are fine for soothing babies but I think like everything they should be used in moderation. Don't mean to offend, just offering my opinion xx

hushpuppy · Mar 13, 2010 5:05AM

I think 4 is far too old! My lo is 2.5 and still has her dummy at bedtime. I did take it of her at Christmas (for the baby reindeers!) and it went really well until NYE when she came down with chicken pox and stood at the front door shouting up to the reindeers to give her her dummy back! She obviously needed it for comfort and for that reason I still allow her to have it for bedtime. Our babies are only little for a while and if they need the comfort that a dummy provides then it's no big deal really. We are going to try again at Easter and I'm sure this time it'll be easier as she'll be a wee bit older and more able to understand why mummy is taking away her comfort.
I personally would rather have her suck on a dummy than her thumb as you can't exactly take those away!!
xx

goonie_mummy · Mar 13, 2010 12:40PM

I'm hoping to have Wills weaned off his dummy by the time he's 1 so we've started to phase it out and he now only has it at bedtime and if I can help it not even then! It must get harder as they get older and I really hate seeing toddlers talking with them in! The cot death studies also helped me to stick up for myself in the early days to those who disagreed with dummies altogether x

Dean35Hall · Nov 27, 2013 6:01PM

Ahhhhh, It's a comfort to them no matter what there age weather there 6 months or 6 years old. Me and the misses have two very young LO's and they love there dummy's along with there bottles. We have two friends, a wife and hubby and i remember (a long while ago now), when i use to go round and visit them and they allowed there son who was 7 years old at the time to have his dummy in the evenings and at bedtime. I did not think badly of there son or them as parents to let him keep his dummy and i noticed that he really did love his and talked to me with it in his mouth his pet name for it was 'Bone' like a dog's, I think it was sweet. On the same topic, my mum let me have my dummy for bedtime (not in the day), until I was at least 11 nearly 12 years old, (this IS true i'm not lying if your all wondering here ladies). I can tell you all, that it did not effect my speech now in older life but i do have a cross bite as my two front teeth are pushed forward slightly due to my dummy use in the 80's and I have very fond memories of my dummy. I did even at that old age really enjoy sucking on my dummy it did comfort me at night while in bed.

LH86 · Nov 27, 2013 6:17PM

Ha ha I too had a dummy at night till about 10/11 LOL. hasn't done me any harm but I don't like seeing older kids with them. I started to take my lo's dummy off her at about 8 weeks and only used it when absolutely necessary. By the time she started play school at 2 she wasn't bothered about having one at day ior night. Glad I'm not the only one who had a dummy for ages lol

MrsR2010 · Dec 2, 2013 8:24PM

I don't think think older children having dummies is particularly good for their speech and language development. Firstly, children will be less inclined to talk with a dummy in their mouth and so don't practise speaking etc and talking with a dummy in can lead to wonky teeth and incorrect speech sounds.

I taught a boy last year who got rid of his dummy at age 4, and he couldn't pronounce any of the front mouth sounds such as 't' and 'd'. All his speech sounds came from the back of his mouth as his tongue was towards the back of his mouth. It's taking a lot of practise with speech therapy work to correct it.

He called his dummy, his 'gummy!'

What does everyone think about dummies and older children?

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