I Feel So Crap

This is kind of long. I've posted a couple of topics on various things regarding this before but Its really getting me down :\(

I have a 12 week old baby boy called Sam and I have been breastfeeding him exclusively for 6 weeks. I've been giving him random bottles of formula (without sounding horrible its only because he was more content afterwards and I could get a bit of a break) For the first 6 weeks he was breastfeeding perfectly. He came off by himself when he'd finished and was a satisfied, happy baby. This was around the time I gave him a dummy that it all started to go downhill (or so I believe) he doesnt seem to be able to stay on my breast himself, he slips off and never comes off himself anymore. He can be on there for hours if I didnt take him off. He takes in so much air because he isnt latched on properly (or so I believe) that within the first 5 mins of bf he is screaming because he has trapped wind. When I first started bf if he wasnt latched on properly it would hurt because he had such a strong vacuum if u know what I mean, but now it doesnt hurt at all and I believe he isnt on properly. Ive tried to latch him on right, but he doesnt seem to open his mouth wide or keep it wide enough for the whole nipple bit to go in. He slips off every couple of minutes and the poor mite gets frustrated. Ive started giving him lots of formula throughout the day because this seems so much simpler than dealing with an angry baby. Since Ive started having these feeding problems and I dont give him formula he is constantly crying and screams the minute hes left alone. He doesnt sleep well and I cant get anything done around the house, or any time to myself for that matter. I feel so guilty for giving him formula and a dummy and I feel too scared to tell my health visitor as she was very happy that I was breastfeeding and made a fuss, and when I was pregnant I told her how against dummys I was. I know that sounds stupid but its so nice to have someone telling me Im doing it right. She isnt coming out to visit me again until the 7th of jan (when Im going to tell her whats been going on) and Im wondering if anyone has any advice for me. Should I take his dummy away and bf every time he cries? Is there anything I can do to increase my milk supply as I want to satisfy my baby and make him happy and I think giving him a dummy/formula has mucked about with my milk supply a bit. If I do take his dummy away how long will it take for him to stop wanting to comfort feed? Does anyone know if theres a special bf counsellor type person I could see, who could give me advice etc..Sorry if this is long but I want to bf and I feel like a failure :cry:


  • Hi emilie, Sorry your are feeling down alot of women get down about bf and one of those people was me about 3 months ago. I do think you should tell your HV what has been going on as when i wanted to give up bf i talked to my HV about what problems i was having and what happened and she really tried to help me and also she can refer you to a bf counsellor and they will come to your house and help you on feeds. If you want to talk to her before phone her dont feel bad at all they are there to help you only get one chance to bf your baby and if that means needing help to do it then bug the people you need to.

    In order to increase your milk supply you need to be feeding your lo regulary to get the milk flow back to what it was before. If you are increasing the formula feeds that means the milk is not pumping through your breast so try to get him to the breast as much as poss and express if you can as well. Also you need to make sure you are eating and drinking alot of water.

    This is all of what i was told when i was breast feeding so hope this helps you.

    If you seriously want to carry on with it get some help if you are struggling it is out there hun and dont feel bad about anything you have done an extremley good job so far of looking after your son and feeding him up till now.

    Good luck with it x
  • thankyou so much for replying, its nice to know im not the only one who has problems with bf, it feels like i am! i will give her a phone tomorrow. going to take his dummy away as whenever he wants comforted by his dummy, i can bf *or try to* and hopefully this will get my milk flow back. thanku for ur advice, i just want to do the best for him and its horrible when u feel u cant :\(
  • Hiya, am surprised he took to adummy being breast fed, my lo was so hungry he was sucking at me every hour or so, so i persivered with the dummy, he now doesn't bother about it, he sucks his 2 fingers instead, but its not a bad thing a dummy, it says that if they suck a dummy at night it helps them breath properly and can lessen the risk of cot death!

    As for breast feeding, your baby just sounds lazy, my lo is 7 month and i still have to hold my boob for him and put the nipple in his mouth just because he is a lazy typical man lol - are you doing the tummy to mummy and nipple to nose routine? it does work, and when he sucks watch the temples in his head if the pulse then he is sucking properly, it comes to a stage when you cant feel it any more, my lo always fell asleep on the boob (lazy again) still does thats when i know he is ready for bed! how often are you feeding your lo, with the breast? i think if he is hungry then he should get it right, the best advice is just relax and enjoy it because once you get it right its the best experience ever, i love breast feeding it feels so natural! - even tho my partner hasn't touched my boobs since i started breast feeding lol
  • Hi Emilie

    I am so sorry that you feel so bad.

    I would contact your hv tomorrow and ask her to make a visit or tell you where you can go for immediate help. HV are often also bf counsellors or will be able to guide you to one, if not contact la leche or google breast feeding where I am sure you will find some support helplines.

    Do not worry that your hv was pleased that you bf and now you dont want to let her down, it doesnt matter one jot to them how you feed your child, as long as they are getting fed. They are going to encourage bf as much as they can as that is what they are told to do, but if it isnt for you then so be it.

    As for your milk supply, your body produces as much as your child demands. I have bf for 10 months but am no expert, but I think you have a few choices until you make up your mind what to do. You can continue with formula but try to express milk to match the formula feeds to keep your milk up, you can try and bear the pain and try to just bf your baby or you can just carry on as you are doing.

    Make sure you eat and drink plenty. By the way, chocolate is a great way of getting lots of calories and fat to make sure your milk is good quality - what a great excuse. Good luck hun, and if you cant carry on bf, it will still be ok, I think formula is just as good and you have to do whats best for you and your baby. Take care xx
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