What age is best to have a baby?

After the shocking pictures of the 13 year old dad (which make me feel physically ill - he looks about 8 - what happened to childhood) I wondered what everyone thinks is the 'right' age. My mum had me (her first) at 32 and she says there is no right age. My oh thinks 30 is a good age as you are more financially stable. My fil (had his first at 18) thinks anything over 25 is 'old' and thinks his daughters (24 and 26) should get a move on.

I had Gabe at 19. And I think physically it is the right age. Financially, it is crap - we cant even afford to move out - but in a way it's better as I even GOT to have money and be 'stable' so I don't miss anything. Some people say dont I miss going out clubbing etc but nowadays when I do go out up town I end up hating it, missing Gabe and wishing I was at home on BE lol. I also went through my wild age really really young and I nearly killed myself with booze one night sooooo I'm not a big drinker as it is!

I would maybe say that 25 is a good age. Most people have moved out, have careers, and have settled down.
xxx



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Posts

  • im 30. had jessica in jan. i feel i had her at the right age for me,.
    had my mad nights out, spent money on clothes etc. so i feel ive got all that out my system.

    im in a loving marriage, got a job i enjoy and having jess is the icing on the cake.

    everyone is different though. in my late teens and early 20's i was not ready to have a baby.
  • Ooohhhh, great topic!

    I was 17 when I had Lauren and fortunately it has all worked out really well for me but I would be devastated if she fell pregnant that young. I dont really feel like I missed out on anything, just took a different route to getting where I am but it was hard at times and I wonder if I might have gone to Uni/college if I had been able. But, I wouldnt change a thing, I feel really fortunate to have had her and love that she got to be at my wedding etc. Cant wait till shes older so we can "do lunch" together and share a bottle of wine. (much older obviously!)

    I've had Nathan at 29 and thats all worked out well too. The only thing is that I would like to wait till he's at school before having any more but then I'll be 33 which given I was young when I had Lauren feels really old, lol.

    Ideally I would probably say 25 is a nice age as you get to be young, have plenty of time for more but also are physically still in your prime.

    As for the poor boy who is 13. He was 12 when the girl got pregnant - given Lauren is 12 now this seems totally inconvceivable. And if there ages were reversed people would be in outrage about the older boy taking advantage but this seem to have been overlooked. Like you said he looked so much younger! I can hardly believe it.
    xxxx
  • Dodgy subject as people are going to be annoyed with responses!! I personally couldn't have dealt with a child in my 20's let alone teen years. We waited (by choice) until I was 33 before we started to try and was 34 a couple of months after she was born. I wanted to wait till we had our own home and had done some travelling and experienced life, which we did and I now have no regrets wishing we'd done things we hadn't etc. I also think it's necessary to be as financially dependant as you can be, a child is expensive and I know this will offend some but, I don't think you should have one if you can't afford to raise it without help. I know circumstances change and that you may become reliant on government help for a short while but certainly not in the long term.
    So for me, in my opinion, it's better to have them later on.
    xx
  • I think the "right age" is whatever age you are when you:

    1. Can support a child financially
    2. Can cope with it physically
    3. Are committed to putting the needs of another being before your own for the rest of your life

    ALL of the above. Sorry to sound cynical but I'm not a believer that love alone is always enough.
  • Hey,
    Well we saw the front of the paper yesterday and were shocked he looked like he was holding his little sister not his daughter. Also shocked as he is called Alfie so our lo is now Alf or Fred!
    So what age? I think it totally depends on you. It's all about you, your circumstances, maturity and aility to care for another human being and that doesn't have an awful lot to do with age in my opinuon!
    A member of my family was 16 when she had her first and he is one of the loveliest lads you'd ever like to meet. She is a wonderful Mum and I'd love to be half as good as her.
    I, on the other hand, was in me 30's. I wish I hadn't waited as I worry now we won't be able to have another bubs as I'll be past it!
    I think you need to be a little mindful of money etc but if you waited till you had loads of money before starting your family you'd be waiting forever!!
    I LOVE being a Mum and I wish I'd got on with it earlier so I could have a whole rugby team by now-tee hee! x
  • I had my first LO when i was 22 and the twins when i was 24 (now 25) i was in a financially stable job at the time ( i am a Legal Executive) unfortunately due to current recession got made redundant whilst pg but luckily OH now has new better paid job so we are OK.

    I dont think there is a right/wrong age xx
  • im not sure what the right age is to be honest! at any age people can end up having financial difficulties just look at how many people are getting made redundant at the moment! then again i also agree that you shouldnt really try for a baby if you cant afford to support it.I am 23 and pregnant with baby number 3 so we have done it quite young but i dnt regret any of it.I am married and we have both worked to support our children,never been on benefits.I am glad that i am young and have the energy to do things with my children,my mum had me at a young age and we are now like best friends its great! xxx
  • i would say i wasnt mentally ready for ds when i had him at 22 and having dd at 27 was the right age for me, but everyone is different, the relationship i was in made things so tough and this time around im in a loving relationship, money is ok and physically and mentally i'm loving it, good job as number 3 is due in sept/oct x
  • I'm not offended by anything as I expected honest responses. As it happens we could afford to move out and support us and Gabe but the in laws offered us live with them so we could save up and afford to buy rather than rent.

    The only time I regret having Gabe so young is when I see my old schoolfriends face book and bebo pages (silly I know). They are all in last year of uni, most have been abroad travelling and meeting lots of different people. I'm not jealous but I get the feeling they think I'm a bit lame being a fulltime mum.
    xxx

  • I agree with Pink toothbrush. I feel that i've chosen the best time for me personally, but saying that it took a long time to conceive Riley. I'm 23, hubby is 34, we own our home, both have good jobs, have done our travelling and partying, so we were really ready and had been for a while. I couldn't have waited any longer. My mum had me at 22 and we are very close. I won't be returning to work as we can live on hubbys wage. Although I don't believe anyone is ever truely financially stable as anything could happen to change your circumstances. xxx
  • I do hate all the assumptions that people have about teen/young mums all being on benefits. I get child tax credits and child benefit same as everyone else, no more.

    It really annoys me when friends and family have constant questions for me "When are you going back to uni" (never) "Are you going to go to college instead then" (nope, not now anyway). "Are you looking for a job" (yes but even if I wasn't, it wouldn't be your business!) If I was 30 and a full time mum no one would bat an eyelid lol
    xxxx
  • Hi,
    I got pregnant at 21 and had Connor at 22 i think that was the right age for me, ive done the drinking thing so i havnt missed out on that, i dont mean to sound big headed but i am a caring person and have always put others needs before my own so that wasnt a shock to the system.
    My OH and I were living with his mum when i fell but we both worked hard (my OH was on 12 hours 7 days and i did as much overtime as possible) and bought everything for our new flat and the baby in cash by the time i was 7 months pregnant.
    I dont think theres such a thing as a right age, more right circumstances
    Gill
    xxxx
  • I get it too Tiger Lily and i'm 23 and a qualified nurse. I also hate it that people assume if you're not going back to work that you'll be claiming. My hubby and myself have made the decision that we want to live on one wage and for one of us to be at home with children, his is the better wage, so he'll work and me at home. We won't be claiming, but people turn their noses up when I say i'll be staying at home and it really bugs me! Anyway, off my high horse, lol. xxx
  • i understand how u feel,i think people look at me and assume we r on benefits as iv not gone back to wrk this time round! people are het up on asking if ur returning to wrk rnt they!! i think if people can afford its a great oppertunity to be a full time mum! xxx
  • I had my 1st son when I was 23, my 2nd when I was 31 and then Tommy last year when I was 37!

    I must say there are pro's and con's for any age its all really down to the individual, but the initial case of a 13 year old boy being a father is absolutely shocking.

    Tiger-Lily - some of those questions are asked no matter how old you are believe me, I think I have had a lot of them after each of my boys!



  • There isn't a right age as far as I'm concerned as everyone is different, although I agree with what Pink Toothbrush said in her post. (13 is quite shocking though)!!! Still can't believe that young lad is 13 -he looks about 9!
    Anyway, I got married at 28 and then had Charlotte when I was 32. I think that was the right age for me, although I would have liked a baby in my late 20's but we had bought a new house then so wasn't the right time financially.
  • I had Kelsie at 20 and Jack at 21. For us that was the right time. We had our own place, and enough money, we were in a loving long term stable relationship. I think that everyone is ready at different ages. And whats right for someone might not be for someone else. There are pros and cons of having children in your 20's and in your 30's. But for us, having children younger works.

    Great post though hon, it's really interesting reading responses!

    BTW I thought you were blonde too image and Gabe is definatly blonde, not ginger.

    xxxx
  • i feel I had Lucas at the right "time" in my life and age didn't come into it. I had my job, my hubby had qualified and we had bought our first house 6 months before I got pregnant. I felt it was important for me to be financially stable and have a roof over my head before I had a baby so at 24 (25 now) I felt it was a good age.
  • I had my 1st at 16 and my 3rd at 35.
    I'm the 'right' age for all my children now in that I'm young enough to identify with my teenager and experienced/ financially stable enough for my little ones.
    However I was too young when Ben was a baby and I'll be a pensioner when the babies get to their 20's.... can't have it all.
  • I was 27 when I had Lily (am 28 now) and this was the right age for me. I would like another before I am 30!
    xxx
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