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Had to ring the social on her...

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  • I love this site. You ladies are great, thank you for a wonderful and passionate discussion.

    [Modified by: hedgie on December 08, 2008 12:08 AM]

  • Whalemummy, i'm sorry your post has turned out like this. I believe you have definately done the right thing. If your friend isnt doing anything wrong then she will be fine, on the otherhand if she does need help/support looking after her daughter , hopefully she'll get it as a result of your call. I know it's not always easy to speak to people directly and question their parenting skills so i can completely understand why you made the call. With recent events regarding Child Protection in the media, i think it's our duty as parents to be vigilant. I hope it all works out for the little girl in question.

    What a shame another post on here has turned out like this, and is it just me or is it always the same people in involved. This is a baby forum for goodness sake. I dont post huge amounts on here, because this DEBATE mentality puts me off. Debate is healthy yes, but, there is a time and a place and i dont really think this is it. I'm sure most of the other ladies will agree with me we are sick of it.
  • The fact you put 'had to ring social'... means you know in your heart or hearts that you have done the right thing yourself.. others may not take that action, many might. As long as you feel confident that that was the path to take then worry not xx
  • Lets change the subject. I didn't know you could change HV? I thought it was like the doctors - you were assigned one and that was it. Your decision whether to see them or not? x
  • whalemummy - just wanted to apologise for my reply at the start of this post.
    I stand by what i said that you should have spoken to your friend before calling ss, and tried to help. But it sounds from a later post that you did do that, so sorry! I think some of us are too quick to jump in with strong opinions before we know all the facts, but it's hard not to sometimes - I guess that, as mummies, we can all be over sensitive when it comes to talking about kids.

    I was just wondering if anything has happened since - I keep thinking about the wee girl and hoping that if there is something wrong that she'll get better soon.
  • do you "ladies" know that baby expert has turned into a bitch-fighting arena these past few months, as one of the longer standing baby expert ladies id like to say im sick of the shit and the bitching, you can all call it what you like but thats what it comes down to. Im glad i rarely come unto the baby forum as every time i do i find more shit and crap being thrown back and forth, seems some people are as childish as their kids!
    Now after saying all that i do have my own belief about wither a child should die etc due to giving blood but im mature enough and sensible enough to keep it to myself, perhaps the rest of you should do the same??? [or maybe i shouldnt have said that, after all i wouldnt dare to advise anyone what to do on an open forum! LOL]
  • Okay, I said I wasnt going to post on here but I just cant stop myself anymore now. Whalemummy I completely think you did the right thing, If there is no reason for ss to follow anything up then it will all be over with, on the other hand if there is a reason then your friend will be given the help and support she needs. Maybe she refused the blood test becuase she is afraid of what it will show up, my 12 year old had a condition when he was 4 that cased him to bruise very easily, the gp did blood tests as they thought it may be something like leukaemia, it did cross my mind not to get the tests done as the result terrified me, happily he just had a low platelet cound which sorted itself out over time. Also, if you hadnt rung the social up and the child had come to harm you would never forgive yourself.

    As for the whole religious debate, I could never let a child of mine die knowing there was something I could do to save them and I will never understand how anybody can, however I do have very strong religious beliefs so I can see why as an adult somebody would make that choice, to make the choice to let a child die is wrong in my opinion, there should be a law that states under a certain age that it is the dr decision. Sadly there is not and no amount of debate or arguing is going to change that. We are all entitled to our own opinions and as far as I am aware we are all mature enough to respect if someones opinion is different to ours, we can also have a healthy debate without it turning into a personal attack, as joanne has said she doesnt have a problem with anyone on here, just a differing opinion, so lets not be so sensitive and accept that we are all different pleeeeease. ;\)
  • Well said Hayley :\)
  • I don't really want to share my opinion on whether it was right or wrong, but did want to share this experience with you.

    (oh and sorry I am gatecrashing the baby forum!!!)

    We had some neighbours who consistently screamed and slapped their 2 kids (the youngest wasn't even 1yrs old and the little boy was about 7yrs old I think), I do not agree with parents slapping or hitting their kids, although after watching Supernanny at the weekend, bugger me, I can see why some parents would be driven to things. Anyway, back to the neighbours... we could hear the screaming, the swearing and the slapping. I am also 99% certain that the mother left her kids alone on the odd occasion. The family were a nightmare to live next door too, quite frightening at times. The police were called about the fighting etc. going on between the wife and husband (she was having an affair, I know this as she was very open about it and her hubby worked abroad most of the time) and on one occasion we had the riot police outside our house taking the parents and a load of their friends away. We hid in our bathroom with our cats as I was so frightened. The social services were called (not by me) and I don't know what, if anything, happened as they moved away. The sad thing is, when none of this was going on, she was a lovely woman, her hubby was kind too (he used to spray de-icer on my car on frosty mornings!) and the kids, well they were just adorable. The little lad was such a sweetie.

    As another sort of related point... I worked for someone that was going through the adoption process. Part of that process involved being sent reams and reams of paperwork about potential children and their history. As her PA, I did have the opportunity to take a peek at some of this stuff and what I read, oh my god, it's the worse thing that you can ever read about what goes on with children. I would give you some examples so you know the extent of horrors that happens to children, but being a baby website, its not really appropriate! When I think about this, I do think that if there weren't people brave enough to report parents to social services, we would not know what happens to these children and they would have to endure this suffering for even longer.
    Whalemummy - I'm not sure of whether you did the right thing or not, personally its not my place to say! I think you did what you thought was for the best, my opinion is that its neither right or wrong.

    Hedgie - I was nearly in tears when I read your story. I am so pleased to read that you and your LO especially are doing ok. My love goes out to you! Xxx

    On the religious debate - I don't really have any opinions on religion, I am not religious myself but do understand people are and they have their beliefs. All I believe is that some religions include beliefs about some bad things. To me that can't be good. (sorry I know that is a bit naive, but I prob. am...)

    Sorry my post is a bit waffley and not written in very good English.
    and oops I pasted my text about 5 times!!!

    Joo
    20+3

    [Modified by: Joo on December 08, 2008 02:33 PM]

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