Feel like I'm going mad!!!!PND????????
Hi ladies,need some help and advice,I've been reading the topics on PND and starting to wonder if thats what I may have.I've been feeling low since my LO was born but put it down to the worry of her having cleft lip and palate.I often sit feeling like i could cry for no reason,I didn't mean to but I started pushing my other half away from the 20 week scan when we found out bout our lil ones clefts,and as hard as i try still don't feel how i use to towards him,I know i love him and couldn't be without him but then when we together if he cuddles me i find myself shrugging him off then wondering why i did it.I feel like i'm going mad,cos all the feelings of wanting him near me and cuddling are still there but when it comes to it i tence up and won't let him.Plus i keep stressing myself out over housework being perfect,tea being on table for set time etc there's no pressure on me to do any off this just the pressure i put on myself,I can't sleep if I've not done everything before bed,which ain't helpful as when i do eventually get to sleep my LO wakes up soon after.I feel like i'm going mad in my own head as I don't talk to no one about how i feel.I've got two other children besides my new LO and a step son so need to keep everything above board for them but I'm feeling I'm letting everyone down esp my OH and children.I put a front on off everything being ok but really i just wanna break down.HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!
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My heart is breaking just readng your post and i wish i could be there to give you a big hug and tell you you are not going mad. How old is your LO? I think the first thing you should do if you can is have someone have the kids for a few hours and go somewhere with your other half and have a long talk, i don't know if you have read my other posts about PND but i was diagnosed with it before xmas and i thought i was going mad.
Once you have sorted things out then either talk to you HV or your DR which ever one you find it easiest talking to. It sounds to me like there is something not quite right there with your hormones.
If you are diagnosed with PND do not turn down any drugs or counselling you are offered cause they do work. Did you suffer like this with any of the others? I know your baby's cleft palate must have come across as a big shock but my friends little boy had one when he was born and it is amazing what surgery they can do these days.
Take care and i'm here if you need to chat,
Sam x
I had a major PND moment last night. Eden is really badly teething and so is sleeping even worse than normal and i was up with her most of the night. It came to a head about 4 am when my OH went and got her out and was rocking her and i told him he was doing it wrong! He then couldn't do anything right, right down to him slapping his chops together cause he was thirsty, i got so frustrated with him...though now i look at it in the cold light of day it was prob with myslf...that i snatched eden off him and told him to get out!
I only get this every now and then but when i do it hits me hard and i can't stop crying!
I too am always being told what a good mum i am but i know what you mean when you try and live up to it, please go and see someone.
Take care,
Samx