Is this wrong?

me and Evie were at oh nanas house with our dog Evie kept pulling her tales so I told her no three times and she carried on at this point Shandy was going to snap so I tapped well not even tapped Evie's hand and said no for her own safety well oh grandad kicked off shouted at me that I was horrible etc Evie is nine months and very knowing I was only trying to teach her right from wrong I now feel like the worst mum in the world and am sat here crying over the whole thing was I wrong? xxx


  • No you weren't wrong hun, you were only trying to teach Evie that she's not allowed to do that. It was for her own safety as dog could have snapped at her. It's up to you how you discipline your lo so don't let it get you down. xxx
  • No I don't think it's wrong hun, I've never done it myself but mil has (to Gabe) as he was being naughty putting toothpaste on the TV screen despite being told No so many times...In a dangerous situation like Evie was in it doesn't bother me, what I don't like is when parents hit their kids for hitting other kids...mixed messages or what!! Your oh grandad was out of order to have a go at you, especially as most people of his generation reguarly smacked their kids!! xxxx
  • no you're not wrong hun, your baby your rules. I smack Ollies hand and if he's been really bad i smack his leg (I know a lot of people on here disagree with it) but I also make sure I explain to him why he's had a smack.

    Ignore OHs grandad, I thought in that era though they used canes? ;\)

  • No you weren't wrong hun, and you're not a horrible mum! I'd have done the same thing in your situation. Don't worry about it, she's your daughter and its down to you to discipline her and keep her safe, so do it your way and ignore anyone who passes comment.
  • No you weren't wrong - quite apart from the fact that how you discipline your child is your choice, within reason, a tap on the hand will hurt a lot less than a bite from a dog - and in that situation you have to do something she will understand quickly, there isn't time to reason with her. While I don't really believe in smacking (for me and my child, it's a personal choice and I respect anyone's right to make their own choice with their own child), I think a tap on the hand is appropriate in circumstances in which the child could otherwise be hurt.
  • you see now I've got an image of you all shaking your head at me for using the word 'smack' when technically that is what a 'tap on the hand/leg' is, albeit a light smack.
    People might not see it as one and the same but to me they are, which is why I call it smacking. Its a 'tap' thats hard enough to make them stop and think without hurting them. A light wiffy waffy tap isnt going to make them take any notice - or it never did with Ollie, it has to be a firm one that makes him take notice...
    And to be frank sometimes there is no other way you can get a v v stroppy 2 yr old boy to stop biting you other than a smack on his leg.

    But back to the OP, its your choice what you do, so dont let him get to you.

  • I'm not shaking my head at you Stephe, in truth I'm sitting here thinking it's all very well me saying I don't agree with smacking but my LO is only 13 months and not particularly trying yet. What I really don't like is mums who are constantly tapping at their children for every little thing, which is not what you're doing - like you said, it's for a reason and you explain it to him, I think that's very different.
  • no hun its not wrong and im with mummy stephe on this one ,my ds has had many a "smack" on his leg if he is doing something bad or dangerous ...i have to say though it very rarely works and i sometimes dont know why i do it after ive slapped his leg an dhe laughs :roll: ..i was always going to be one of these mums who NEVER ever slaps my child!! how things change when u become a mum ..

    did u ask oh's grandad if he ever ever slapped any of his children ??i bet u he did xxxxx
  • A friend of mine - who's 73 - mum of three, grandmum of 5 and fostered for many years - said that you can flick a child's hand as a last resort as it's not too sore, shocks them which is often a good technique as it makes them stop anyway and they can't copy it so you're not reinforcing bad behaviour or whatever.
    I think that you have to parent the way you think as everyone is different and the children are different. My lo is 21 months and for the past two months has been showing very challenging behavious but she understands no, and a flick means not at all. It really doesn't hurt her but it does mean she knows what to do. They can't understand reasoning at this age and you need to make sure they're safe.
    It's a real shame that you feel like you're a bad parent for discipling your child.
    Both my hubby and I are teachers and I would say that we have far more problems with children who haven't been taught that there are limits and things they mustn't do, than with those that have had the odd smack!
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