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My husband told me his leaving me for another woman!

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  • What a pig! Don't let him bully you anymore! As everyone else has said go and see your solicitor asap.

    What goes around comes around and I think he's starting to get whats due to him now he's been thrown out of his bit on the sides!
  • Hey babe! Just wondering how you were doing. I've been thinking alot about you the past few days xx
  • I have been reading your posts ( I mostly read and dont post too often as its not easy to post while im working) and I too echo what the other ladies say you sound like an incredibly brave strong woman. This must hurt like hell but you are doing so well coping the way that you are. I obviously dont know you but you sound like a lovely person like someone else said you have been incredibly dignified, any man would be luck to have you and someone will want you with 3 kids. Just make sure you take care of yoursef, let your heart heal and then when you are ready to be with somene else make sure he truly deserves you
    Best of luck
  • hope you are ok hun and your children. take care. xx
  • I havent been on here in ages and your post has had me crying from start to finish !

    I would just like to give you a huge pat on the back as you have already shown how strong you are and are going to continue to be. You have the support of a loving family and your 3 beautiful children and really thats all you need to get through this.

    I cant believe his "girlfriend" of 2 years knew nothing of you and the kids and that just goes to show what a liar he really is !!

    I do actually think that since his relationship with this other woman has ended it will only be a matter of time before he is begging to come back and ask you to forgive and forget everything. I personally think no matter how much you love him not to do this as once a cheat always a cheat and you are young enough to make a NEW life for yourself. It may seem like the easy option but i think you have been tortured by him enough already !!!!

    Please stay strong and remember that things can only get better .. not worse !!!

    Bug Hugs
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • I think youv'e dealt with everything brilliantly hun. What a horrid poor excuse for a man.
    Im glad you told her about you and the kids, i hope she'll realise that hes lied once and will do it again, and he ends up on his own!
    Don't rush to get out of the house, make sure you and the kids are all sorted first. Good luck. x
  • Hi ladies, hope you and your babies are doing well, I'm touched that you've been thinking about me.

    I'm now staying at my parents'; I left the house at midnight last night. Here's what happened:
    In the morning I went to the bank and transferred enough money to last us for at least three months. Then I went to CAB who told me my first priority should be finding accommodation so they helped me fill a housing form, and I took it straight to the local housing office, who told me that they'll be in touch soon with an appointment for an assessment interview, they also warned me that it might take them 3-6 month to finding me an accommodation.

    Then I took my CV which I updated the night before to a recruitment agency, they said they'll be in touch but it might be hard, because although I have a degree I don't have much in term of experience (I only ever had one part-time job as a sales assistant which I started at 18 and left when I had my son at 21).

    I also -borrowed' OH credit card and went to Oxford Street and bought the kids and I winter clothes, winter coats and shoes. Now when winter comes I won't worry where I will get the money for these things from.

    Then I went to the house where OH was waiting for me with a face like thunder on him, he was mad because the credit card company called to make sure he knew of the transaction that was taking place on his card (well its true what they say about retail therapy, once I started I couldn't stop, I've spend a LOT of money). All I said was he could afford it now that he's going to be single. Anyway we argued for a while and I left the room.

    Here's that hard bit, I'm almost scared of writing it and the only reason I'm doing it is because firstly it might help me to get it all out, and secondly I think is only fair as you guys know the whole story and been so supportive you should know this part too, I just hope you don't think badly of me.
    Well last night I asked the questions I wanted to ask for so long, I told him no matter how painful it might be I wanted to know. He told me that they met at the pub and they were instantly attracted to each other and they couldn't take they're eyes off of each other the whole night. She came up to him and they exchanged numbers, the next time they met she told him she wanted a relationship with no strings attached, basically just sex. She didn't want to know about his life and the only thing he knew about her was that she had a son and that she just came out of horrible relationship and could not trust a man again, hence the need to have just a physical relationship with him. So they met up for sex anywhere and anytime they could, and this was going on for a year till he realised that he had feelings for her and that he wanted a proper relationship with her but she refused and said that it was this or nothing. So he thought he would carry one with what they had and try to persuade her to be a proper couple, by this time he thought it might be too late to tell her about me and the kids because of her trust issues he would risk losing her and he couldn't bear it. For the next year they relationship was on and off because he wanted more, and couple weeks ago he finally wore her done and she agreed to a relationship and decided that she wanted him to move in with her.

    You can imagine how I was feeling, I don't think I ever felt such pain and I wouldn't wish what I felt at that time on my worst enemy, I felt like I wanted to die, how can one human being could keep hurting me so much? I couldn't believe how easy it was for him to break his vows, to destroy his family, why didn't he just tell me and left me for her instead of dragging it out for so long, and jumping from my bed into hers for two years?

    He told me how sorry he was for putting me through so much and that he was coward who wanted to take the easy way out, he said he really tried to love me the way he used to, but he loved her more, he told me I was young and beautiful and that one day the man I deserve will sweep me off my feet and would rather die to do what he did to me. I stop listening to him because his words didn't mean anything to me.
    By the end of it we were both crying and he held me and soothed me, I know it shouldn't but for a while it felt so good, to be held by him to be told how beautiful I am, how much he wished we could have been together forever, how grateful he was that I gave him three beautiful children, how much he loved me.
    I can almost hear you guys scream NO! To the screen, and that was what I kept hearing in my head but we ended up sleeping together, I just wanted to feel anything other than the pain I was feeling in my heart, even if it was for little while I wanted to feel wanted, loved and attractive, anything other that what was killing me inside.
    It was beautiful, it was better than we ever had, and I kept thinking he couldn't love her that much if he was doing this with me, maybe there could be a chance for us after all, and on the last thought I fell asleep.
    I woke up after a little a while to find his side of the bed empty, so I went to look for him and I heard him on the phone talking to that woman, begging for forgiveness, for another chance, he was telling her how much he loved her...
    I'm not going to say how I felt because it'll have me in tears and I refused to shed one more tear over that man.... It's true what they say about fool me twice shame on me. I can't keep giving this man a knife to keeping on stabbing me with.
    So I quietly packed a bag, and silently slipped away from the house to go to my parents.

    Sorry for the long post.
    Maria
    xxxx
  • Awwww sweetheart you are so brave and strong, you deserve someone much better than an idiot like him. I don't balme you going shopping I would of spent all the money in the account to make sure you and the kids had everything you needed Ireally wish I could kick your oh in the balls what an idiot. take care xxxx
  • I did go No! But do know why you did. Glad you've got out now and are starting to make a new life for you ahd your kids,

    Hope everything goes well for you!
  • Hi ladies, thank you so much for you kind words, they mean a lot to me.
    I'm glad you guys understand why I did what I did, in a way I'm glad too, because it made me realise I was fooling myself and it was the wake up call I needed to help me move on, now I really know he is a sorry excuse for a man.

    mummygachette22 I'm sorry to hear of what your OH has done to you, and I'm glad to hear you have found a way forward even it's still hard to let go of the past. I wish you all the best.

    To all of the ladies who had taken the time to read my post and replied with such a kindness and support, I can't thank you enough, I wish I could buy all of you bunch of flowers. You took the loneliness away and helped me see that I needed to move forward and plan a future for my kids.

    Lots of love
    Maria
    xxxx
  • awww, maria u r one amazing lady, i have so much respect for u and how u handled this horrible situation. all the best hunni, u deserve it. xxx
  • Here here XxbutterflyxX I totally echo what you have said.

    Truely amazing woman you are Maria. Wishing you all the best for the future for you and your kids. That man deserves to be alone.

    Clare xx
  • Look after yourself Maria. You deserve so much better x
  • Maria you are so brave! i dont think i could be as strong as you, i really hope things work out for the best for you and your lovely children.
    You do truely deserve a million times better
    xxxx
  • Hi Maria

    I just want to tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel and it does get easier even though right now it doesnt feel like it will.

    I had a very simular experience with my ex partner. I did only have one child to him and I was very young at the time. I'm convinced tho the whole experience made me a stronger person. Im now happily married to a fantastic man with 2 kids and life is great. I look back and thank god that things didnt work with him. He did try to come back to me after he realised what he had done but by then I was so over him and it felt great to walk away.

    You are doing really well take care of yourself and just think what goes around comes around. It will so come back to bite him on the arse.
  • I've said it before and I'll say it again. What an arse !
    Well done you for taking control.Hope everything goes well for you. Suz x
  • Hi, sorry I havent replyed sooner this has been my first chance to get online properly.

    I just wanted to say that I think you are an amazing and strong woman and your kids are so SO lucky to have you as their Mum. What your oh did beggers belief, but you will get past this and be better & stronger for it ! You just need to give yourself the time.

    As for your oh as SB says what goes around comes around and the universe will make it right !!

    XXXX
  • Is it just me or is this all a little far fetched!! Awful thing to have happen, but how is she finding the time in middle of this personal trauma to write complex essays?
  • OMG hun i couldnt believe my eyes when i was reading how badly you have been treated. i dont know what to say. it will get better eventually it will take time. my sister in law is going through a similar thing at the moment. i know you dont think so but you will find love again im sure of it. my sister had 6 kids and not only managed to get another man but a younger man better looking than her ex and they have 2 more kids together now so it does get better and your far from on the shelf hunny. hope you feel better soon big hugs
  • Thats a bit harsh and unfortunately things like this DO happen and sometimes it helps to write things down and ask for peoples opinions and support. I dont think she needs to be criticised.
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