thats harsh get off her back she's going through a lot. my partner left me once thankfully not because of another woman but because we had issues i had a new baby and was traumatised but those long nights alone give you far more time than you think to talk and i was on the phone to my aunt for 3 or 4 hours a night sobbing my heart out so yeah you have time to write things down like that
laneys mummy it was definately not for you lol!! some people are just in there own little bubble and dont realise that there is a big bad world out there and horrible things do happen. I wouldnt normally say anything but was shocked at how someone could be so cutting xxx
Wasn't meant to be as you describe it 'cutting'! Her style of writing is very descriptive and she seems to have remembered things so accurately. I was merely pointing out that if she had all this going on would she really feel like sitting down and effectively turning it into a novel. She would probably be on the bestseller list if she chose to publish. People seem to like 'real-life' stories such as this.
Just a little update from me. We're still at my parents, although it's a bit crammed the kids are enjoying all the attention they getting from their grandparents and I'm also appreciating all the help I'm getting from them, my mum won't let me lift a finger and she's also feeding me like there's no tomorrow, she thinks I'm too thin......I'm just so lucky to have them. Their dad came to see them a couple of times, he said I was welcome to come back and stay at the house until I find somewhere else. I said I'll think about it, but I don't think I'll be going back, I don't trust myself when he's around, I'll probably do something silly like sleeping with him again...... even though I'm trying my hardest not to I still love him, and for that reason I'll be keeping my distance, because if he found out he'll probably take advantage.
Smaug77 I don't know whether I should take your comments as a compliment or not....if you meant them as compliment then thank you, and if not then you're entitled to your opinions, but I just want to say that when things like this happen all you got is time, time to reflect on things, time to analyse and micro-analyse situations, things that happened whether it's something that you've done to have caused this, or maybe things that you didn't do to prevent this situation. There were a millions of things going through my head, which were preventing me to sleep and eat, and I started to believe that if I have one more thought my brain will probably burst, so when you're in a torment like that you try to find something to ease the pain....and what helped me was writing all down from start to finish. Not only has that helped me but the response I received was amazing, people who don't know me were telling me how strong and brave I am, and how I am a good mum, do you know what that does for my confidence? ...the encouragement, the support and the advice that helped more than writing it all down. Thanks again ladies.
I haven't yet posted here but i have been following your thread and its just awful how you have been treated and if i were in your situation I would never been able to cope as well as you, you are so strong. Also if i were in your situation, I know I too would benefit greatly from writing it all down. In fact i regularly write things down to sort small problems out in my head its like you can assess the situation easier when you have off loaded all your thoughts on to paper (or screen in this case). I think nearly every regular user of this site uses it like some sort of therapy at times, because not only can you assess your own situation better you get other peoples opinons and advice too. So i guess i'm trying to say I can total see why you have written everything down and if this had happened to me I would remember every tiny little detail too, because I would not be able to stop thinking about every part of the situation.
I'm so sorry you are going through this and I think your incredible for how well you are coping, you are so brave.
Hi Sweet Maria I can see you have been through a look. I was just putting myself in your position while I was reading and its indeed painful. Pray hard God loves you, there is a rerason for everything. You will be fine get a job and accomodation and keep on being a best mum ever. I really understand this can happen to anyone just thank God for your parents and kids. Wish you the best in life.
I know this is an old post but I am going to take a leap of faith and hope you read this. I am going through a very similar situation. I would love to communicate with you and find out how everything turned out. During my pregnancy I had to have an emergency c-section because my body was giving out (due to all the stress and anxiety caused by my suspicions of my husbands affair), I had my first baby on 10-10-13 and my husband left us 10-28-13. My son was 2 weeks old... how heartless of him. The other woman knew he was married and I was expecting but he made it seem like our marriage was horrible except it wasn't until she came into the picture and "consoled" him to help him deal with our marriage.... or weasel her way into the picture and get him to leave me and my son. Since he has left he has come to see my son 1-2 times a week for 5-10 mins a visit. So pathetic. Right now I am staying with my parents but like you I miss my husband so much. This situation has taken my sanity, I feel so lost and lonely. I cant stop thinking about him and especially thinking about him and her and how he just replaced me. He seems so happy right now and I am miserable. Its not fair. He always talked about how we would grow old together and how we would raise our kids. We even had to go through fertility treatments to get pregnant with my son. I would love to hear from you since you can relate so much to my situation.
I'm not in the same situation as you but thought you needed a reply from someone.
What an awful time. That woman must be completely heartless to get a man to leave his wife when she's just had a baby and is at her most vulnerable, both physically and emotionally. But it does take two, and he's at least as bad as she is, as he knew the true situation and still chose to tell her his own version of the truth. So he probably isn't the man you thought he was, or not any more. As such, he doesn't deserve your love. Maybe the old him did, but the new him certainly doesn't. I'm sure you know that already, though.
I don't know if this will help or not, but I know a woman who had recently found out she was pregnant when her partner told her he was leaving her for someone else. They had a two-year-old boy already. She was obviously very upset for a long time, but she got through, with the help of friends and family. Her baby girl is now three, and her son is five.
But there may be more light on the horizon for her - she has a secret admirer in a good friend of mine, one of the sweetest men I know, who has had his eye on her for years but is an honourable chap and could never approach her while she was with her partner. So perhaps she won't be single for much longer. He has never tried to force the issue. He sees her from time to time, but as a friend. He is very fond of her children and they think he's great. He is letting things develop slowly - some might argue too slowly, but what do I know?
Anyway. Eventually, when you're ready, there may be someone like that for you. I wish you and your son all the best.
Replies
OMG YOUR SO INSENSITIVE
big hugs to sweetmaria!!
Just a little update from me. We're still at my parents, although it's a bit crammed the kids are enjoying all the attention they getting from their grandparents and I'm also appreciating all the help I'm getting from them, my mum won't let me lift a finger and she's also feeding me like there's no tomorrow, she thinks I'm too thin......I'm just so lucky to have them.
Their dad came to see them a couple of times, he said I was welcome to come back and stay at the house until I find somewhere else. I said I'll think about it, but I don't think I'll be going back, I don't trust myself when he's around, I'll probably do something silly like sleeping with him again...... even though I'm trying my hardest not to I still love him, and for that reason I'll be keeping my distance, because if he found out he'll probably take advantage.
Smaug77 I don't know whether I should take your comments as a compliment or not....if you meant them as compliment then thank you, and if not then you're entitled to your opinions, but I just want to say that when things like this happen all you got is time, time to reflect on things, time to analyse and micro-analyse situations, things that happened whether it's something that you've done to have caused this, or maybe things that you didn't do to prevent this situation. There were a millions of things going through my head, which were preventing me to sleep and eat, and I started to believe that if I have one more thought my brain will probably burst, so when you're in a torment like that you try to find something to ease the pain....and what helped me was writing all down from start to finish. Not only has that helped me but the response I received was amazing, people who don't know me were telling me how strong and brave I am, and how I am a good mum, do you know what that does for my confidence? ...the encouragement, the support and the advice that helped more than writing it all down. Thanks again ladies.
Maria
xxxxxx
I'm so sorry you are going through this and I think your incredible for how well you are coping, you are so brave.
sending hugs to you xx
Hello Maria,
I know this is an old post but I am going to take a leap of faith and hope you read this. I am going through a very similar situation. I would love to communicate with you and find out how everything turned out. During my pregnancy I had to have an emergency c-section because my body was giving out (due to all the stress and anxiety caused by my suspicions of my husbands affair), I had my first baby on 10-10-13 and my husband left us 10-28-13. My son was 2 weeks old... how heartless of him. The other woman knew he was married and I was expecting but he made it seem like our marriage was horrible except it wasn't until she came into the picture and "consoled" him to help him deal with our marriage.... or weasel her way into the picture and get him to leave me and my son. Since he has left he has come to see my son 1-2 times a week for 5-10 mins a visit. So pathetic. Right now I am staying with my parents but like you I miss my husband so much. This situation has taken my sanity, I feel so lost and lonely. I cant stop thinking about him and especially thinking about him and her and how he just replaced me. He seems so happy right now and I am miserable. Its not fair. He always talked about how we would grow old together and how we would raise our kids. We even had to go through fertility treatments to get pregnant with my son. I would love to hear from you since you can relate so much to my situation.
than you so much!
I hope to hear from you.
Hi michyt22,
I'm not in the same situation as you but thought you needed a reply from someone.
What an awful time. That woman must be completely heartless to get a man to leave his wife when she's just had a baby and is at her most vulnerable, both physically and emotionally. But it does take two, and he's at least as bad as she is, as he knew the true situation and still chose to tell her his own version of the truth. So he probably isn't the man you thought he was, or not any more. As such, he doesn't deserve your love. Maybe the old him did, but the new him certainly doesn't. I'm sure you know that already, though.
I don't know if this will help or not, but I know a woman who had recently found out she was pregnant when her partner told her he was leaving her for someone else. They had a two-year-old boy already. She was obviously very upset for a long time, but she got through, with the help of friends and family. Her baby girl is now three, and her son is five.
But there may be more light on the horizon for her - she has a secret admirer in a good friend of mine, one of the sweetest men I know, who has had his eye on her for years but is an honourable chap and could never approach her while she was with her partner. So perhaps she won't be single for much longer. He has never tried to force the issue. He sees her from time to time, but as a friend. He is very fond of her children and they think he's great. He is letting things develop slowly - some might argue too slowly, but what do I know?
Anyway. Eventually, when you're ready, there may be someone like that for you. I wish you and your son all the best.
Just wondering if you have an update
Your post brought tears to my eyes you had such Strength and courage
Did you ever meet Mr right? Xx
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