Personally I think it is different for everyone and different between mother and fathers. A bond between a mother and child is different then a bond with a father and child. And the bond between husband and wife is different between parent and child. Well it is for me, I love them equally, just differently.
I don't know how my oh feels and I don't think I want to know. I would hope he would do the right thing at the right time if he were ever faced with an awful decission. Plus he wouldn't answer a question like that. As for me, my children and my oh are my top prioity, the both come joint 1st.
I love mine all equally.....lo's & oh. It's a different kind of love for my oh but no different in intensity!
Of course, my kids are top priority with the cat a close 2nd as they look to us to take care of them & I know the kids would come 1st for Colin too for the same reason but at the same time, we both know neither of us could bare to be apart from the other. At the same time, we would also put each other above ourselves if we knew the kids were ok.
I love both Evie & Rob more than life itself but in different ways i don't think i could say i love one more than the other, even when Robs being a pain in the bum lol. However Rob knows that if i ever had to pick between them i'd pick Evie then a bit of him would be still with us xxx
Its not from the best of sources but ive read the book Marley and Me (new film with owen wilson) and in it the man says of his kids that he knew when his wife had just given birth that he loved his wife half a heartbeat more than his baby but knew she loved baby a heartbeat more than him, i guess thats how i feel, not much in it.
I love Shea in a completley different way to hubby but i'd have to say I love my son more than hubby (just a tiny bit! lol) we also recently had the dicussion about who comes first as I was talking to a friend and she said her and her hubby come before their son, but I disagree with this. for me Shea always comes first then hubby, then me. Hubby says Shea comes first, then the two cats, then him, then me!!! He his joking (I think!!) for me personally I think your children should come before you, you bought them into this world.
doublebubble - I think that sums it up once babes are born. Us parents do have a responsibility to always look after them however- if there had been a problem during the birth I would say save me rather than the baby. My reasoning is that although the pain of losing a baby would be imense, at least we could try again and pain would be slightly less as I wouldn't have known the baby and fallen in love with their traits. I can see the point of view for dying for your baby in birth - it just wouldn't be for me, especially if I already had a child as how would oh beable to justify the hurt of child 1 towards child 2 for causing their mothers death.
I think my children don't have the ability to stand up for themselves so while I care a great deal for dh, I would expect him to stand up for himself. I think it's a different kind of love for each.
Thats quite hard because i love them all aroung the same but in different ways. If i was made to pick between them then my kids would come first without a doubt.
I love oh because he's been there through thick and thin, he's the father of my children, and i know i can rely on him
I love my kids because they are mine and no one can take that away, i will always be their mum no matter what. They rely on me for everything and you know a cuddle or kiss from them is full of love for you.
I could go on forever really. lol. If i have to say one, it would probably be i love my kids more because i know they'll always be there where as oh could very easy up and leave at any point.
just jumping in over from pregnancy....but someone said to me once:-
A relationship is like the roots of a tree it has to be strong so that you can have kids (the branches).....the roots will always be there so you have to look after it....while the branches will bugger off when they are 18....
I think that the love for both my lo and dh are different but that the love for my lo is totoally unconditional. We've talked about this and we both agree that we cant say we love one more than the other because it's different love. My dh did say recently that he didn't now what he'd do without us both. I said that if I lost him then I would have to get through it for my lo but I didn't know what i'd do without my lo - so I would save my lo first though fingers crossed there wont ever be a need.
I've never thought about my baby leaving home but maybe I should try to make more effort to care for my dh and make sure he knows he's loved. We both give lo much more attention than each other as she relies on us so much for everything.
I love my hubby to bits and would lay down my life for him with out a second though but it it was a choice between him and my kids im sorry but my kids will always win. I know a marriage is supposed to be for ever but thats not always the case, but you children will always be you children no matter what happens
Replies
I don't know how my oh feels and I don't think I want to know. I would hope he would do the right thing at the right time if he were ever faced with an awful decission. Plus he wouldn't answer a question like that. As for me, my children and my oh are my top prioity, the both come joint 1st.
Kerry, Freya and Pink Bump 34+2
X X X
Of course, my kids are top priority with the cat a close 2nd as they look to us to take care of them & I know the kids would come 1st for Colin too for the same reason but at the same time, we both know neither of us could bare to be apart from the other. At the same time, we would also put each other above ourselves if we knew the kids were ok.
xxDBxx
we also recently had the dicussion about who comes first as I was talking to a friend and she said her and her hubby come before their son, but I disagree with this. for me Shea always comes first then hubby, then me.
Hubby says Shea comes first, then the two cats, then him, then me!!! He his joking (I think!!)
for me personally I think your children should come before you, you bought them into this world.
xx
I love oh because he's been there through thick and thin, he's the father of my children, and i know i can rely on him
I love my kids because they are mine and no one can take that away, i will always be their mum no matter what. They rely on me for everything and you know a cuddle or kiss from them is full of love for you.
I could go on forever really. lol. If i have to say one, it would probably be i love my kids more because i know they'll always be there where as oh could very easy up and leave at any point.
Lisa xxx
A relationship is like the roots of a tree it has to be strong so that you can have kids (the branches).....the roots will always be there so you have to look after it....while the branches will bugger off when they are 18....
I quite like that.....
I think that the love for both my lo and dh are different but that the love for my lo is totoally unconditional. We've talked about this and we both agree that we cant say we love one more than the other because it's different love. My dh did say recently that he didn't now what he'd do without us both. I said that if I lost him then I would have to get through it for my lo but I didn't know what i'd do without my lo - so I would save my lo first though fingers crossed there wont ever be a need.
I've never thought about my baby leaving home but maybe I should try to make more effort to care for my dh and make sure he knows he's loved. We both give lo much more attention than each other as she relies on us so much for everything.
I know a marriage is supposed to be for ever but thats not always the case, but you children will always be you children no matter what happens
We both tell Louise we love her when we put her to bed and tell each other when we say goodnight.