Step children

I wasn't sure to post in here, but I thought I'd give it a go.

I have a 2 boys, one 19 weeks, one 10. I also have a step son who is 9. My hubby is away at the moment in afgan, so to keep his son in his usual routine I still have him every other weekend, and a couple weeks through holiday.

Now the step child is hard work, he rarely listens, and constantly wants to be centre of attention which proves hard woth a young baby. I have tried and tried telling him that Jacob needs my constant attention, and yet still it isnt any better. ANY SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOME ON THIS!!!

My second issue is, lack of respect, listening to me. I treat all the kids the same, Its one rule for all. But when he doesnt get his own way all hell breaks loose. He really should know by now that I dont take it, but yet he still carries on!! ANY SUGGESTIONS??!! I find grounding works, but also get 2 hours of tears and being told he hates me. lol

Please tell me there are others out there who sometimes struggle being a step mum?!!

Staceylou79

Posts

  • I have exactly the same problem! My stepson is 7 and he is an only child at home. He lives just with his mother and is used to having everything done for him and specifically to his requirments! To be honest his mother must be exhausted!

    My OH is a chef and works long hours so when Stepson comes to visit it is pretty much me, him and my daughter who is nearly 7 months. He doesn't seem to realise that babies require constant attention and sulks when he doesn't get his own way. He is as good as gold when his Daddy is at home, but as soon as the door closes he gets moody!

    We have the added problem of that his mother just lets him watch T.V and play his Nintendo all day! Well, sorry not in my house! Plus Daddy won't let him. Anyway, this has left him with the inability to play. He needs something electronic to occupy him all the time!

    It is hard being a step mother. Creating boundries is hard as they already have two parents. Chidren need stability and when there are three sets of parenting styles going on it doesn't work. Are you on good terms with his mum? Could you chat to her about the situation? Maybe she could reinforce some of your rules at her house and visa versa. She could also maybe have a chat with him about respecting you more.
    I also think 9 is a funny age - heading into hormones and opinions!!

    Sorry I cant help more...but you are not alone xx

    [Modified by: joemoeuk on July 25, 2010 12:44 PM]

  • omg, Mine is also addicted to computer games, he is left at home with his 2 elder sisters and shoved in front of t.v!

    We have none of that we are an outdoors family, who run/cycle/walk and have fun together!

    I am getting on ok with ex, she was ok when I spoke to her, I think a meeting to discuss how we can ALL work together might help.

    xx
  • Sounds like a really good idea. Hope it goes well for you and stuff can get sorted.

    Good luck xx
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