Please help ! ! Possible separation anxiety.

Jacob is 5 months old and has been going to his nan and grandads on a thursday afternoon for the past 4-5 weeks. I would leave him there about half 12 and pick him up at half 5. My mum would feed him once whilst he was there.

For the past 3 weeks he's gradually become more and more unsecure and unhappy there. The first time he started screaming uncontrollably when my mum tried to feed him. The following week he kicked off as soon as i put him in the travel cot and cried a bit on and off. For the past couple of weeks I haven't been able to leave him there. He's fine whilst he's on my lap. He'll laugh and talk to them altho will start crying sometimes when they get too close. He's also ok in the travel cot. But if they want to cuddle him he'll manage about 30-60 seconds before starting to scream and it's an awful scream. He gets in a right state and the scream becomes so loud and high pitched. It takes ages for him to calm down and its heart breaking seeing him so upset. Its also heart breaking that my mum and dad can't give him a cuddle as they love him to bits. Surely if it was separation anxiety then he would be ok if they hold him but he can still see me.

I have heard stories that babies and toddlers can go through stages like this but i wondered if there was any way of helping him get over this ''fear'' ? They are supposed to be looking after him when i go back to work in feb and i'm so hoping this is only a short term problem.

Has anyone else experienced this?? Please help!:\(

[Modified by: julesb31 on 05 December 2008 11:01:31 ]

[Modified by: julesb31 on 05 December 2008 18:46:18 ]


  • Sounds like separation anxiety. I've not experienced this (yet). All I can suggest is that you maybe leave him with some clothing that smells of you so that he feels that you are near.
    I don't think it's a fear of them just him getting anxious cos he knows you will be leaving.
    I'm sure it will pass soon and I wouldn't make a fuss when it happens as that could make it worse (he may pick up on your anxiety).
  • Thanks for that. I hope he is a bit better by christmas cos it will be so sad if they can't give him a big hug on his first christmas day.
  • Hi,
    Ellie who is now 8 months has had seperation anxiety from such a young age I think it started about 3 months!
    I can't leave the room or her sight without the ear piercing scream & the cry that lasts until I walk back into sight again.
    By leaving Jacob with your parents your actually doing the best thing for him & it is bloody awful knowing that he's so upset but he will get used to your Mum & Dad comforting him instead of being handed back to you & when he's hungry enough he'll take his bottle too.
    It's really hard but you & your parents need to perservere with it, Ellie (touch wood!) seems to be coming out of it now bit by bit but it has taken a lot to get to this stage.
    The idea of clothing is great, she will only sleep with my pillow in her cot!

    Good luck & hope it all works out for you xxx
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