Just found this document on my computer

i forgot all about this - i thought you might like a read - i havent changed a thing so still full of mistakes

"Its 10 days since our lives changed forever and what we have wanted for so long became ours. Toby Christopher Francis Landfear was born on 5th November at 11.41am weighing 8lbs.
The first 10 days have been amazing but blighted slightly by illness - nothing however - can take away the amazing feeling i have inside and how proud i am already of my bundle of wrigglyness.

I might go through the pregnancy at a later date, maybe even the trying to concievce bit - it was all pretty traumatic, but what is really important is that i get to document Toby and his first few days. I feel like i have missed so much already and feel sad that i will never get back Tobys first week - so Toby is now the most photographed baby pretty much in the Country and i want as much detail as possible documented.

5th November 2009 - so i have been in labour for a fair few hours and i have got stuck at 8cms dilated. There are small signs of distress from Toby but nothing to worry about too much. The midwifes have been amazing o ver the past 24 hours and after the 2nd epidural i became pain free. At about 9.30am the consultant came in and we discussed the fact that i wasn't progressing and that a c section was most probably the next step. Simon had gone for a bite to eat in the canteen so it was abit of a rush getting him back to the ward. Prepping for the section was a whirl of activity and the wonderful senior reg who broke my waters delivered Toby. Even though it was classed as an emergency section it was pretty laid back and at no point did i feel that i wasn't in control. The only negative side effect was this awful shaking that continued after Toby was born but gave daddy a chance to cuddle our little man.
To be honest the next bit was the most traumatic and i just feel so lucky that little man is ok. When he was born i noticed that he was grunting and he also had a rash - we got back to the room ok and i was holding little man - i then had skin to skin contact and m first attempt at breast feeding - but the consultant came back and said he had to go to the special care baby unit. The wrench inside was just awful - i was so helpless and when they put him in the incubator i just cried. Lying there - unable to even sit up and not having the baby that you have just become a mummy to was indescribable.
When i was all sorted and the staff were happy we were transferred to the post natal ward - and we just waited until we got more news.
The problem was Tobys blood sugar level it was only 1.3 and he needed food - they fed him formula and it wasn't long before we got news that his levels were rising nicely and that he would soon be back with us. When they wheeled him back it was amazing - again i really cant remember very much about the next few hours but Simon left about 7ish as he was completely knackered. And there we were - a new mummy and her gorgeous baby - we tried breast feeding throughout the night but he also needed top ups because i didn't have enough - but Tobys first night in this world and he was so good and Mummy and Toby had loads of sleep.
Friday 6th November - day 2
What a fab night we had - I got up at 3am and had a wash and this morning i had a shower. My hips are pretty sore but i do feel liberated with the small amount of movement i now have. We are still perservering with the breast feeding and it is not going well - and i am getting my self into a state. Grandma visited today and had a cuddle and nanny and granddad Norfolk visited in the afternoon. You have been amazing all day and have passed all checks well. Still jaundiced but hoping that will be ok. Daddy came up in the evening and is becoming a master nappy changer.

Saturday 7th Novemeber day 3
Well last night wasn't brilliant - Toby did not take to breastfeeding again and we think he might have a tongue tie, this was cut by a lovely mid wife and Toby seemed none the worse from his ordeal after. Grandfa arrived today but seems quite poorly but was there when the tongue tie was cut - i don't think i could hve coped by myself. He did get to have a hold though, then Uncle Daniel arrived which was a big surprise - he seemed rather taken with Toby. Today is a bit of a blur and i feel quite tearful. After trying to breastfeed again unsuccessfully i rang Simon in floods of tears at about midnight and we decided that enough was enough and we went to formula. I am so disappointed, i really wanted to do this but there is just nothing there and both myself and Toby are better off calm. Grandma didn't visit today as her dad is really poorly and she needs to get there, i think there will be a funeral next week.
Sunday 8th November day 4
We cant go home because of my blood sugar levels and you are still a little jaundiced.
Well Grandfa is really poorly and so cant see you today - he slept in the car at the hospital. We put a letter and 2 flowers on the twins garden and i am walking really well. Simon is getting all items together for bottlefeeding so the morning visitors were Nanny and Grandad, Uncle Daniel and then Daddy later on. It was going really well but in the night my hips completely locked up a i had to call for help numerous times in the night. Toby wouldn't settle and i physically couldn't pick him up.
Monday 9th November day 5
More blood is taken from you today because of your colour and we really want to go home. My blood sugars are really high and we are waiting for the diabetic nurse to see us. Everything is packed and we are ready for our first journey as the three of us. We finally get to go home and Nany and Grandad, Grandfa and Uncke Daniel are waiting for us. There is champagne and a birthday cake for you. It feels a little odd and i am a little tearful but it also feels great.

Tuesday 10th November day 6
We had an ok night - you really are so good - i cannot stop looking at you - still tearful - but in a good way i think. Sandra came round and then it all got a bit frantic because her dad took another turn and she needed to get down there fast. Simon offered to drive and i was in a complete panic because he was so tired. Very upset when emma came round with katy in the evening but we did ok by ourselves. Tomorrow, now thats when it goes wrong!

Wednesday 11th November day 7
Daddy is really not well today - really bad runs and vomiting - we just hope you don't get it. So feeling pretty sore and with no family around (typical) we are struggling downstairs by ourselves. It went really well
12 Toby is one week old today - Daddy is feeling a little better and we sing happy birthday to our gorgeous little man

13th received some lovely flowers from Stephanie and brian. toby also got a blue and white striped teddy

14th wanted to got out today as we needed to take the breast pump back to boots. Got some lovely pictures of toby as we were planning to go out. Took the pump back and they gave me back to whole amount and not the sale amount which was a bonus - we want to buy a new car seat as we are not happy with the one we have. Then met Louise Simon and Harrison and had a lovely afternoon having tea and a slice of cake in Marks and Spencers. Tummy hurting a bit but what a fab day. Until today i felt that i had missed out on the pregnancy with people fussing over you but it is so much better with a baby - everyone loved him!

15th Feeling not very good today - toby is gorg though - we walked to ASDA with him in his new pram - it was lovely but hard work. Mel and Derek came to see us and bought round some lovely presents for Toby. Granny and Grandad were here as well. Feeling slightly fluey hope its nothing

16th Stayed in today and feel awful - daddy had to look after toby because i was too poorly especially in the night.

17th After an awful night of me not being very well i woke up this morning to a very pusy wound. We went to Oldway mansion to register toby and have some great pictures. Ended up in hospital as wound is badly infected. It feels like i have been torn in half as Toby has to leave at night. Didnt realise i was wuite so poorly!

18th toby is spending the days with me and the nights with daddy. I am on 2 lots of iv antibiotics - luckily have my own roon - feel terrible but i am sure it will start improving soon

19th Tobys due date - he is 2 weeks old today and spent it i hospital! Not brilliant but i am loving mummy time with toby and i think simon is having great bonding with toby at nght. Pavs had her baby boy Roddy on her due date so enjoyed posting on Baby Expert. Tobys new car seat arrived and his birth announcement cards. Wound is def better but not enough to go home.

20th Toby looked gorgeous today in his car sleep suit and pixie hat. Loved looking after him today - he is so good and i could just eat him! Still not home - but i am sure it will be tomorrow

21st Woop Woop - i can go home - still not brilliant but much better. Determined that we are not coming back. Had some time at home with my gorgous husband and my hansome son before Nanny and Grandad arrive tomrrow

22nd Not much sleep and mum arrived. Mum has the start of a cold and have booked into baytree house as they don't want to give toby a cold."

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