Both sets live 40-45 miles away we see them once a fortnight or 3 weeks, sometimes more often. Snow made things very difficult over xmas as they couldnt get over the pennines that easily.
Will see them more when we get our own car in next month or so, both sets will love that as will Dylan as he adores them all and likes charming the pants off them! Plus my MIL works in a school so I will see her a lot over easter as she has time off.
Its true though normal is hard to quantify, I think if your unhappy with it then there is a problem.
my mum and step dad live about 20 minutes away, my mum see's ds twice a week, but only for about 15minutes each time as she always turns up right at his bed time, then moans she doesn't get to see him, fair enough but she finishes work 2.5hours before his bedtime so it's her own fault. my step dad only see's him when we go over there, which at most is once a month as i hate going over there, cos only day they're free is on a sunday when my grandad goes for dinner, so we have to stay for dinner to, which she doesn't do til 8pm, 1hour after ds bed, so have to put him asleep there, then wake him up to go home. he never comes here unless like today it was ds birthday so he came iwth my mum, plus it sunday so they were available.
the in laws live in belgium and they've been over here twice, and us there once in a year, so every 4 months ish, his mum is talking about comig over at easter which will be ice, bu bil has already aranged he's coming over, he's staying opn our sofa (no spre room) and now she wants to stay here too.......don't think tahts gonna happen its cramped enough when BIL here on his own...i don't think i cld cope if they came any more often lol.
My parents live 45 mins away and they see lo twice a week, sometimes more. They come here and we sometimes go there at weekends. We are quite a close family.
The in laws see him once every 2 months, a lot less but they live almost 3 hours away and are a bit older! xx
LO see MIL about once a week as she 10 mins away and my mum who lives over 2 hours away about once a month, i usually go there as she still works so its easier than her trying to do the journey in one day and means i get a nice break and a catch up
however the MIL thinks i am selfish for spending a few day there as that is often not convienient for her!!! :x last week i went to my mums mon to thurs and as MIL was going away on fri i was a selfish so and so for going and not staying at home and waiting for her to turn up!!!
I see my in-laws about once a week, I walk there most weeks we see my parents about 2 or 3 times and we see we will be seeing lo at least once a week as well bit we are close in all ways and lo has to get used to my mum as she will be helping to look after her when I go back to work.
Both sets of grandparents live about 1 hour 40 mins away. DS is a rubbish traveller (he can happily scream for the whole journey) so we tend to say "Come to us", especially as the motorways we have to use are famous for their jams and that would be a nightmare with our screaming boy! My parents had seen him once a month, although they haven;t seen him this month and they don't have any plans to. In laws have seen him about 4 times in 5 months, but both sets know that they are welcome to visit any time. Would love them all to see them more as I wasn't close to any of my grandparents and I wish my little boy could have the relationship that I missed out on
thankyou all.i've not had chance to get online tonight so i'm replying on my phone. It is very interesting what you all say. I just find we're always trying to please everyone else. If i raise the issue i've been accused of being selfish! So there are more discussions to be had. Thankyou though! Xx
My girls have always seen my parents almost every day and now im back at work my parents look after the girls while im working.We see oh mum three or four times a year oh's family live 2 hours away but oh's mum is in a home and doesnt really know who we are which is sad i think we dont go up often as its hard for oh to see his mum like that and his other family never come to see us we only see them when we go up there so its a mad day of visiting when we go up there.
It varies but we see my mother in law around once a fortnight and we go and see her. Its a sore point because we only live 15 mins away from her and my husbands younger brother has just moved into our village and yet she will come and see him but wont see us so we dont make too much of an effort but fornightly on average.
My mum I see every Monday afternoon and other times inbetween if the need arises (i.e im having interviews at the moment and so she helps with O when im at those). Weekly at least.
My Dad she could see 3 times one week and then not again for another month. It just depends on our schedules!!
We then have great grandparents to fit in.....they are more demanding than the grandparents!!
My DS sees my mum on ave 3 times a week and my dad1 or 2 times. They live within 3 miles and my mum will be helping with child care when i return to work. My DH parents are no longer with us and sadly never saw lo but as they lived far away would have been abt 1 every 6 weeeks x
My parents See LO nearly everyday they only live down the road and while i am off work i go down quite a bit, will be different when i go back but my mum is having him twice a week so will still see him lots. My OH parents dont give a damn about my LO and they only live 10 mins away not seen him since Jan so they will not get to see him now so their loss, he has 2 devoted grandparents and thats all he need xxxx
My in-laws live 2.5 hours away and have seen Peter on an average once a month since he was born. This may change now that we have a car as it will be a bit easier for us to visit them.
My family is more difficult, as they live in the US. My mother and father both saw Peter in the weeks after he was born. My mother visited last summer and my dad last autumn. We visited them over Christmas. But that is it. My mother is coming over again in the summer but I'm not sure when my dad will next be over and I don't plan to travel that far with Peter again until he is old enough to have his own seat. He is far too big and active sit on my lap for seven hours anymore!
It is a tough one, but I think you do your best, whatever the circumstances. We Skype regularly and I know that Peter will grow up knowing that he has 4 devoted grandparents who he just sees at different frequencies and for different lengths of time.
We see my oh's parents more as they live 5 minute drive away and my mil stays at home and doesn't work but like someone else said they are very overbearing and 'assume' that we want to go and see them all the time and doesn't understand that sometimes i like to just stay in with alfie. We go round there quite often on a sunday and she rang yesterday and asked what time we were going round!!! she hadn't asked us round so we had got stuff for a roast and an evening in on our own but she just assumed, grrrrr, soo, had to get that off my chest.
Charlene and Alfie XX We see my mum most saturdays and my dad probably every other week.
I don't mean to but i do find it frustrating that the in laws get to see him more than my parents as they would love to see him more but they both work. XX
Hey hun dd sees my parents once or twice a week and sees inlaws about once every 3 weeks. When I go back to work though she will be having 2 full days with each. xx
my parents see the kids everyday and my in law3s see them at least twice if not 3 times a week. We all live in the same small town so some of these visits are just a quick 10 mins other times a hour or so.
Charlotte see's my Mum about 2 or 3 times a month, which isnt great as she is only 5 minutes away. However she is very helpful and will take her overnight, its just she has lots of stuff going on in her weeks ! My dad see's her only around special occasions but I dont really get on with him so no bother. My sister see's her at least once a week though.
My pil live a 7 hour drive away so they'll come down one at a time, so far mil has been down once in 12 months and fil will have been down twice as he's coming down for this weekend for charlottes 1st birthday. They say that we should travel to them as they have dogs ! Unbelievable !!
my los see their grandparents once every month and then on special occasions too. it works for us as I cant deal with seeing them more than that (they used to come up every weekend and I wanted more time with my family as we only used to have time together at the weekends!) they go to one grandparent for a one or two night stay each month and the other comes up to visit for a day or we visit them, so they both gets to see them each month and every other month they have them for two nights and me and OH get some 'us' time!
Replies
Will see them more when we get our own car in next month or so, both sets will love that as will Dylan as he adores them all and likes charming the pants off them! Plus my MIL works in a school so I will see her a lot over easter as she has time off.
Its true though normal is hard to quantify, I think if your unhappy with it then there is a problem.
xxx
the in laws live in belgium and they've been over here twice, and us there once in a year, so every 4 months ish, his mum is talking about comig over at easter which will be ice, bu bil has already aranged he's coming over, he's staying opn our sofa (no spre room) and now she wants to stay here too.......don't think tahts gonna happen its cramped enough when BIL here on his own...i don't think i cld cope if they came any more often lol.
The in laws see him once every 2 months, a lot less but they live almost 3 hours away and are a bit older! xx
however the MIL thinks i am selfish for spending a few day there as that is often not convienient for her!!! :x last week i went to my mums mon to thurs and as MIL was going away on fri i was a selfish so and so for going and not staying at home and waiting for her to turn up!!!
My mum I see every Monday afternoon and other times inbetween if the need arises (i.e im having interviews at the moment and so she helps with O when im at those). Weekly at least.
My Dad she could see 3 times one week and then not again for another month. It just depends on our schedules!!
We then have great grandparents to fit in.....they are more demanding than the grandparents!!
our little one sees in laws maybe once or twice a week
bearing in mind we all live in the same little town - perhaps village depending on how big you think a town is!!
My parents See LO nearly everyday they only live down the road and while i am off work i go down quite a bit, will be different when i go back but my mum is having him twice a week so will still see him lots. My OH parents dont give a damn about my LO and they only live 10 mins away not seen him since Jan so they will not get to see him now so their loss, he has 2 devoted grandparents and thats all he need
My family is more difficult, as they live in the US. My mother and father both saw Peter in the weeks after he was born. My mother visited last summer and my dad last autumn. We visited them over Christmas. But that is it. My mother is coming over again in the summer but I'm not sure when my dad will next be over and I don't plan to travel that far with Peter again until he is old enough to have his own seat. He is far too big and active sit on my lap for seven hours anymore!
It is a tough one, but I think you do your best, whatever the circumstances. We Skype regularly and I know that Peter will grow up knowing that he has 4 devoted grandparents who he just sees at different frequencies and for different lengths of time.
Charlene and Alfie
XX
We see my mum most saturdays and my dad probably every other week.
I don't mean to but i do find it frustrating that the in laws get to see him more than my parents as they would love to see him more but they both work. XX
dd sees my parents once or twice a week and sees inlaws about once every 3 weeks.
When I go back to work though she will be having 2 full days with each.
xx
My pil live a 7 hour drive away so they'll come down one at a time, so far mil has been down once in 12 months and fil will have been down twice as he's coming down for this weekend for charlottes 1st birthday. They say that we should travel to them as they have dogs ! Unbelievable !!
it works for us as I cant deal with seeing them more than that (they used to come up every weekend and I wanted more time with my family as we only used to have time together at the weekends!)
they go to one grandparent for a one or two night stay each month and the other comes up to visit for a day or we visit them, so they both gets to see them each month and every other month they have them for two nights and me and OH get some 'us' time!
xx