2am in the morning - i can't cope!

I don't really know where to start as im soooo tired and just can't stop crying! Charlie has got into the real bad habit of waking early hours and will not go back to sleep, so i end up down in the living room in the early hours of the morning, every time he drifts off he wakes him self back up or brings up milk/sick. I can't put him down to attempt to settle himself as this disturbs my oh so i have to hold him till he finally goes to sleep!

its also causing probs between me and hubby as i'd agreed to do the night feeds during the week as he works but i just can't do it anymore - im exhausted but i can't ask hubby as its not fair!! I just feel Charlie has no decent routine as i never know when he's gonna wake for his feeds which makes no two days the same with his feeds, his bed time routine is crap or non - existent. everything just feels crap! :cry::cry:

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  • HI hun you poor thing i now you feel is was up with faith yesterday at 3 the she went to sleep she end up in her pushchair down stair with me there was way she was for settling. How is charlie in day quit happy or still being sick? Sending big hugs hun
    carrie faith
  • Sounds like you are having a hard time. What about trying a set routine like Gina Ford or baby whisperer? I roughly follow the gina ford one and i find it has helped. Do you have any family/friends that could have him for a few hours while you recharge your batteries? maybe that would help too.
  • Hey hon, bless you. I totally know where you are coming from, Joseph wakes at all times of the night for feeds and the early mornings are the worst for trying to get him back down. I usually end up with him asleep on me too just so he will sleep but then us mummies don't get the sleep we need!
    I have posted on here about Joseph perhaps having silent reflux as from about 4am he will writhe around and wake himself up. If Charlie is being sick at this time then he may possibly have reflux too? I have put a wedge under the mattress and have bought a positioner to keep him asleep on his side and this works a bit. I am still not sure if it is wind or reflux with Joseph but he does get a bit of relief if he is on his side. I know it is not what you are meant to do but the positioner keeps him from rolling onto his tummy.
    I bf so do all the night feeds so I know what it is like to have a sleeping hubby next to you that needs his sleep for work.
    We have attempted both the gina ford and the baby whisperer routines but neither seems to suit him but my sister said they can take a week or two to implement properly so I am going to try again soon in an attempt to get a better feeding and SLEEPING schedule.
    We do have a bedtime routine though that we always stick to and this is much easier to do that a whole day's routine. Joseph gets really whingey at 6.30 so we bath him,dress him and have him feeding by 6.30. We then do not bring him downstairs again and keep the lights low downstairs so he knows it is bedtime even if he doesn't go to sleep! Could you try something like this just to try and give you some structure and contol back?

    Not sure if this is much help but you're not alone hon. I know it is so hard with the sleep deprivation, yesterday Joseph wouldn't go down for a nap and I was lying on the sofa with a blanket over my head trying to block it all out for a minute!!

    Take care and hope you start to get some sleep soon. Oh and I would see if your hubby would do one or two of the nights in the week just to give you a break? Yes he is going out to work but being a mummy is more than a full time job and we need sleep too!!

    xxx
  • Thanks for your replies! Im actually waiting for a call back from the doc as im convinced he has reflux, so fingers crossed they wil prescribe something to help. with regards to his routine im at a loss, like i said it varies how long he goes in between feeds so i never really know when to expect to feed him and therefore it makes a bedtime routine hard - it would be sooo nice to have a set time where i bathe him, change him, feed him but its impossible! Also i have him down in the living room with me till i go up to bed (although he falls asleep around 7 - 8ish) so this probably doesn't help but i don't feel comfortable with him being upstairs alone. I will have a look at those routines you mentioned MKT86 - thanks girls.xx
  • Just to warn you if you do look at gina ford routine she is quite strict so i dont follow it word for word but it was a good starting off point for my own routine. I did find some of her advice very useful.You can usually get them at the library.
  • Do you know approximately when his next feed will be? Gabe was fed on demand, but roughly he would go 2.5 - 3 hours so 2 hours after, say, a feed at 5 or 6pm, I would change, bath him then feed and settle him down in his cot. I did all the night feeds too as oh works nights, the trick is to sleep whenever Charlie sleeps in the day, it will refresh you so much.
  • You poor thing- my hv reminded me that sleeping is a learnt behaviour so babies need to sleep in the day aswell as night. If you can use the day to get him used to going down you will find the night follows.
    *whisper- my boys all slept on their tummies as crabby on their backs- worth a try?*
  • i replied to yiur other post few days ago regarding wind and tummy ache and i did suggest it could be silent reflux so i wont repeat myself but just wanted to send you a hug cus i been there so msny times still am actually. i too did the night shift but lee would help out at weekend and my mum used to sleep over once a week too so i could recharge and get some sleep two or three nights. a routine is good for you both but if your baby is in pain nothing will stop him from crying and writhing. speak to your doc again babe x
  • With regards to the feeding, does he have an average time he goes between feeds? say he usually goes 3 hours but sometimes will go 4 hours, but occassionally will only go 2, tell yourself in the morning when you wake up, 'right i'm going to feed him every 3 hours today' and stick to it. This is what i did as Oscar was all over the place with food and it made sure that when he went down at night i know he'd been fed regularly during the day so was less likely to wake at night. If he's looking for food earlier try and stretch it out by taking him for a walk or a drive, but this is a good start to getting into a routine, then you can gradually start stretching the feeds out to suit you and him, but by keeping them regular, he knows when food is coming and might be a bit more contented.

    Also at night do you wake him for feeds or do you wait until he wakes for it? Might be an idea to wake him for a feed before you go to bed to ensure that you get a few hours sleep before he wakes again. xx
  • i totally understand how you feel funkymonkey83. jessica had a bath at 7.20pm. then bottle. went off to sleep really well by 8pm. woke at 10ish for next bottle. went back to sleep really well again. woke at 12.30am for next feed. then could not get her off to sleep till 1.30am. then she woke at 2.30am. then pretty much every hour. she's only 19 days old and i have to keep reminding myself. everything seems worse at night.
    got hv again today. going to tell her what ive tried and she what she says.
  • Thanks for your replies.xx It's just hard to know what to do for the best.
    right i've taken action!!
    *)Got a docs appt for later today to sort out reflux (just need to find a way of getting there!)
    *)Gonna bite the bullet Katie and put him upstairs for 7.30, got the baby monitor on hand!
    *)Think i'll try the pick up/put down method as i know he'll scream being left alone

    wish me luck.xx
  • How old is Charlie? xx
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